How To Not Get Shot By The Police

Police mimes never call a warning before they shoot.

I see a lot of and videos about people who have surrendered or are compiling getting shot or tasered by the American police.
A woman wielding a knife was tasered at Belfast's Mater hospital recently, turns out she was a surgeon doing an operation and was not an ISIS terrorist as she lead people to believe by her skin colour. 

I am here to help you avoid this ... if you are black then Bill Maher says yer a lazy criminal anyways so don't bother reading, hey blacks are 8 times more likely to commit a homicide than whites. Maher is all about the facts and statistics huh.

When a police officer tells you to stop, show ID or get out of the vehicle you don't run, reach quickly for yer ID and you don't argue about yer rights and how you don't have to get out of the car or show ID .... only argue if you are white, know yer rights and are recording things.

There are signs a cop will shoot, taser or pistol whip you, not all at the same time hopefully, these signs are: If their head or ears are pulled back, if their eyes are rolled that you can see the whites, yawning, flicking tongue or intense stare are also warning signs.

Police training programs of the 80's and 90's used to consist of watching the Lethal Weapon and Die Hard movies repeatedly, this was of course changed when Training Day and The Shield came out.

 Hookers avoid arrest in England by being sexually suggestive, nope, don't see anything here. 

How to react to a police officer: You must resist the impulse to scream and run away .... Old Knudsen gets this urge if a peeler even briefly makes eye contact or if he hears beeping as he walks out of a shop. 8/10 times he hears beeping as those security tags are on everything these days.

Remain motionless, hands at your sides, and avoid eye contact, a lowered cocked head will show yer submissive.

Police are getting younger and meaner by the day. Hours on simulation training (GTA 5) gives them the edge. 




If you fall or are knocked to the ground, curl into a ball with your hands over your ears and remain motionless. Try not to scream or roll around as police really get annoyed if they have to work at beating you.

If you do run do it in a serpentine fashion as years of donuts and pain killers have probably slowed their reaction time, also police cannot see fast moving targets ... unless it's a car and yer doing 2 MPH over the limit or something, they always see that.

On cold days police cannot see most movement until their body temps have risen so unless you rob an IHOP (where the cops will be) you'll be safe.

They also see in black and white ... take that how you will.

This should keep you safe from any misunderstandings, police officers are just human, doing a difficult job.
Don't take any tasering or bullet holes personally they are probably only reacting to their own childhood trauma of not getting hugged enough or the nurse they married has Ebola, you are just a convenient target so don't feel bad.