Hot Teachers Bad For Student Self Esteem

Four out of ten male school students are suffering from low self esteem and a lack of confidence because sexy female teachers do not have affairs with them.

One unnamed boy ended up growing out his fringe and cutting himself while listening to The Smiths after he found out that his hot art teacher had sucked off half his class. 

"What's wrong with me?" he mused with tears welling up in his eyes. Well lad, yer an ugly wee shite with zits and a depressing taste in music.