Blurb Burn

The sexual abuse allegations against Rolf Harris have taken a serious turn. It seems that Rolf was recruited by the Nation of Overlord Lemurs in the late 70's and not only has he been putting his didgeridoo where it wasn't wanted but he was also plotting the enslavement of mankind too. Fry the bastard!

 

Popular Flegger motivational speaker Jim Dowson has stopped pretending to be his daughter Alice online and registered his own web page The Protestant collation. Dowson who is on strict bail restrictions that includes staying off the Interweb probably meant this to be a spit in  the eye of the law much like the fleg protests are, he also really wants to scam some money off people by them joining his white protestant people only club.... much like the KKK but without the bed sheets.
  
The web page was quickly transferred to another name but don't worry, Old Knudsen was fast at reporting the breach as he doesn't like those criminals to get away with shit. You can change names and delete comments but online nothing goes away completely.

After a fox news channel mistakingly put the name Zooey Deschanel up on screen as the Boston bomber instead of  Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the actress took to Twitter to clear up that she is not the Boston bomber.
"They told me I was in Turkey and then they strapped me to a table and kept pouring water into my mouth asking me about Al-Qaeda, the next thing I know I wake up in my apartment and I'm missing 24 hrs of my life, it was like the date I had with Old Knudsen."

The dept of Homeland security have not been available for comment. 

An Ohio woman was told she was too fat to use the tanning bed at Aloha Tanning salon in Norton as she was over 230 LBS and the upright machine was broken. Disgusted Kelly McGrevey had bought a month long tanning package and was then refused a refund.

Maybe you should buy a month long gym package as a tan will in no way improve what you have going on.

16 year-old Patrick Kane has become Britain's first bionic boy when he received a prosthetic arm that can be controlled by a smartphone app. Patrick's first question was what every 16 year-old boy would ask and the answer was yes, it would feel like he was being wanked by a sex bot if he used the hand.
  

Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams is denying that he kept silent about his brother sexually abusing his own daughter for 9 years. It is important to remember that Adams also denies having been in the IRA.
Interesting to think that after all this dickhead has been through, it might be this that finishes him.