To All The Gurls I've Loved Before

Old Knudsen was feeling in a  reflective mood, thinking about past loves as he was going through his massive collection of sex tapes.

Jessica Biel is a lovely lass, with a shapely ass and nipples like rivets. Old Knudsen met her in 2006 on a beach in Southern Callyfornia. If ya look up Old Knudsen's dating profiles you'd see he likes long walks on the beach, he also likes sunsets, anal bleaching and pissing through door letterboxes.

Most weemen who haven't met Old Knudsen yet never know that a part of them is dying with despair and loneliness as they don't know any better and as soon as they met him its like their life makes sense at last and they are complete and at one.

Weemen want to do Old Knudsen and men want to be him.... its a fact. Some men want to do him too, yes you know who you are ya naughty boy.

We hit it off right away, Old Knudsen filled that gap in her life that um needed filled. Old Knudsen was working as a stuntman/bounty hunter at the time, Jessica didn't like him facing danger on a regular basis and begged him to quit. She wanted Old Knudsen to be a kept man a trophy boyfriend that she would sex up and bend over backwards to please night after night, day after day with tons of coke to snort and sexy friends to join in.

Old Knudsen was convinced .

Soon the great sex with one of the hottest  weemen in the world and the constant sex parties got a bit boring and Old Knudsen yearned to get beaten up or take a fall doon some stairs again.

 
I love you but I'm no in love with you, its not you its me ...... well its you a little bit like when ya fart and you yell " Krakatoa!" thats a bit annoying especially during sex or when we have company over for dinner...... Old Knudsen shouts "Jackpot!" when he farts btw but only when there are lumps. 

We broke up. She took it as you would expect and Old Knudsen had to get a restraining order.

Its sad to see Jessica and her fiance Jason Timberland, the way she makes him wear cloth caps the way she makes him wear Old Knudsen's signature cologne 'Le Hobo, pour men' the way she'll only have sex with him if he reeks like cigarettes and alcohol.

Old Knudsen knows whose name she and thousands of other weemen call out during orgasm. Some day she may move on. Its a burden being Old Knudsen at times.