Belfast Telegraph Is Shite!

The Belfast Telegraph sought to tackle the subject of sex yes that topic we British don't like to talk about just like mental health  and our feelings  ya know dopey American things. Sports, politics, the weather, reality shows and celebs with fake orange tans are fair game though. 

The article goes on to say that even in these supposedly enlightened times there are double standards, men boasting about the amount of sexual encounters they have had and if the number is high then they are totally studly. If weemen have a large number of partners then they must be hoorbags.

It poses this tricky question asking you to guess which woman has only shagged her husband, which hasn't shagged anyone and which has done the nasty with 13 unlucky people.

No stereotyping going on here oh no, we don't truck with no double standards.

If you were too busy looking at the nice young lady with the cleavage in the header then maybe this will help you.

Oh c'mon Belfast telegraph Northern Ireland's #1 newspaper. Well it must be true  as they keep saying so in the paper.

The first gurl saved herself for her husband ..... yes Christian of course, she didn't say if BJs handjobs and up the bum counted as sex or not.

The gurl in the middle is 22 a virgin and also a Christian , she didn't say if BJs handjobs and up the bum lessened her virginity or not.

Now for the unchristian dirty hoor , see any double standards in this hack job article? The third gurl doesn't mention anything about religion or any cults. In fact she says you need to distinguish between actual sex and sex acts ............. Old Knudsen is liking this. In that case the number of men would be 9 and weemen make up her other 4.

There is another woman mentioned who waited until marriage because god didn't want her to try it out before hand, ya know like you would a pair of shoes cos if you buy the shoes without trying them on first and they don't fit right ......... well thats all bad and you don't get a receipt in marriage.

Just under the goth slapper is a blonde chick who has had sex with 12 men and 1 woman. She has finally found her man that she plans to marry so yay. Why are the boring god botherers on one page and the loose weemen on the other double standards maybe?

Right in the middle of the text is an advert for a lush lip tint, why not put in other things ladies enjoy like washing up liquid or tampons..... Do Christian weemen use these or does god not like them?    

The Belfast Telegraph is a stupid fluffy newspaper that reads more like a collection of blog posts ... yes and not very good ones.

To clear something up. Benjamin Franklin was not a US president as was reported in the Telegraph.