Tuesday, 22 November 2016

CIA Training For Everyday Use

When yer a spy you can't tell anyone about it. You can't tweet how yer off to use yer heart attack gun on a Russian diplomat cos the enemy also has Twitter.

Old Knudsen is humble and modest and doesn't like to brag, when he tells you about his huge crowd pleasing penis he's merely stating fact. When I werked for the company I was trained by the 2nd best of the best. I was trained how to spy, escape and evade. I've done things I'm no proud of ... like yer Ma ... Ka Chow!
Condition white. 

From the CIA, Marines Hunter Program and the Mi-5 how to lie course I lerned basic field craft that is applicable for everyday plebs if they would take their heads out of their holes for a minute.

I tried to teach you all in this post about surviving a terrorist attack

If you walk about staring at yer phone, book or newspaper, or if yer listening to yer music with yer earbuds in and daydreaming then you are in condition white. You are oblivious to what is around you. You are a perfect target for muggers, pick pockets or evil commie spies.

You need to be in condition yellow always. This is head up and knowing who is around. These people rarely get knocked down at a crosswalk. Confident looking people do not draw as much attention as lost clueless folk do.

Condition orange is when you see a potential danger and ready yerself. That could mean taking yer hands out of yer fucken pockets and hold onto something like yer keys or a pen, something you could jab into a hand or eye.
Also you can take actions and go somewhere to avoid a confrontation. The best way to win a fight is to avoid it, even highly trained experts like myself would rather avoid a fight as you have nothing to prove to this person by being macho and even the best training or the 2nd best won't prepare you for someone better, faster or even more lucky. Maybe they have a weapon you don't know about. 

Condition red is when you fight or flee. You are taking action. The best way to fight if you have to is wound yer opponent or hit them hard enough to make them think twice while you get away.

Or is it condition green? ach that's why I was "let go" from the bomb disposal team. Schools can be rebuilt and parents can have more children so get off me fucken back.

What should we do sir?  

Condition black is usually for military in combat. In Band of brothers Lieutenant Peacock was leading Easy company through a field. They were out in the open and the Germans were taking them apart. Peacock froze in panic and could not make any decisions, that is condition black.        

Good training is the best way to avoid condition black.

So I was in an unfamiliar town to meet some assets for humint .... that's spook speak for human intelligence. I had just spoken to Jimmy the weasel and he had told me about a foreign government plan to strike panic into the people by buying all the milk, bread and baked beans ... fucken devious.

I was on the street, getting a baseline for what was normal as then you can easily tell what isn't. A busy street, people going into shops and cars going by. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a man standing there looking around him.

You may not think that odd but the only ones that look around them are idiot tourists, law enforcement and bad guys. There were no giant balls of string or old crappy buildings so he wasn't a tourist, he wasn't scanning the blacks or brown men of combat age so he wasn't a cop ... he was looking for a certain type ... shit he could be a spy hunter, I hope he was just a usual bad guy as spy hunters are deadly. 

In my peripheral I saw him lock his eyes onto me, my hand reached down but no, my zip was not down again. As I told the judge is was an honest mistake.

Criminals and bad guys stare at their prey, it's an indicator you should watch out for while in condition yellow. In the wild a predator never takes its eyes off what it's hunting.

He started to match mt step and it looked like he was aiming to cut me off.

One thing to do is to let them know you are onto them. If someone is following you then turn round and look them up and down.

I turned to him and asked, "do you know what the time is?" it werked, he was startled. I was ready with my rolled up Hustler magazine in my hand to strike at his throat .... oh I was buying it for a friend

"Time to accept Jesus into your heart" I looked around to make sure it wasn't a distraction and that he didn't have a buddy coming up on my 6. I may be paranoid but I'm also alive and old so it werks. It was near the holiday season so bad guys often target people with distractions.      

Content that it wasn't a ploy I turned my ring on my finger around and opened the top exposing a tiny needle. I took his leaflet giving his hand a small prick .... no, not that kind of prick ... I said it was huge remember. 

He'd be meeting his maker within the hour. I smiled for the rest of the day knowing that I had the intel to stop a foreign power carrying out a terrorist consumer attack and that I gave yon Christian bloke the chance to see if all his fairy tales were true or not. It was a good day.   

 You didn't expect a huge cock pic in this post.

Better than that day when I had my ring turned in and grabbed my dick and poisoned myself . Well it wasn't too bad cos the doctor had to suck the poison out. They tried to tell me the NHS wouldn't fund that kind of treatment but I found a young willing doc that needed the money.

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