Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Vegetarians Are Disciples Of Lies

People go on about being a vegetarian or vegan as if they have some kind of moral high ground .... the poor animals, they are kept in horrible conditions then killed, here let me post a video on Facebook about it.

Maybe that kind of stuff 'is' appropriate for social media, my therapist says I have difficultly with appropriateness which is why she will only see me in a public place. So if people can post animal torture videos maybe Old Knudsen can post pictures of his bowel movements then. My dookies are quite impressive if you wash the blood from them, don't worry, if they were disgusting like weemen breast feeding babies I wouldn't post them. 

She also says I have a difficulty telling reality from make believe, she can tell that to the space pirates I sold her to for 8 bars of gold-pressed latinum HA! 

I think we can all agree that the Asians are cunts cos they eat cute doggies, it's the way they do it that makes them cunts. You can treat an animal well before you kill and eat it but they shove them into cages and torture them, not cool at all.
I never eat at our local Chinese take away, not just me flashbacks to Nam but me BBQ pork ribs wagged it's tail at me and licked me hand once.

Most animals we eat are cute, in fact lamb can be doon right sexy in the right light as can a jar of liver. I mostly eat chicken cos they are descended from dinosaurs and are more creepy than cute, see? I do have feelings. 

 The Illuminati say that the Jews killed all the dinosaurs.

Hunters don't torture the animals they kill unless you count fox hunters and badger baiters etc, I'm only for hunting if the animal isn't wasted after it is killed. If there is a food shortage then eat the dogs, just don't treat them like shit first.
It makes sense, dogs breed fast and can eat scraps and dogs are everywhere. They also come in big family bargain size or quick snack size.  

We don't condemn a tiger when it eats a native, sure we might go out and shoot it dead but the tiger was just being a tiger, it wasn't being evil. I eat meat cos I'm just being Old Knudsen, I'm a hornivore  so don't fuckin judge me. Maybe if vegetables tasted better... aye it's the veggies fault I eat animals.

 Dirty protest in a jar .... very kinky.  

All those TV chefs couldn't stop vegetables from tasting like snot so I continue the age old slaughter, I hope you are happy Rachael Ray!  

 Life is too short for broccoli.

Old Knudsen is a Presbyterian Pagan, that means that I love and venerate nature while at the same time condemning it for being sinful. The rainforests of South America are the lungs of the world, they are getting cut doon and turned in 3 football pitches every day .... you know what the south Americans are like with their soccer ... thanks Obama.  

If you look at broccoli they look like little trees, that right there is a sign from nature to eat animals. The more plants you cut doon the bigger the hole in the Ozone layer and the hotter the planet gets, that's FACT bitches, if you dent it then yer an idiot Conservative who only wants to save the oil or something. "I'm voting Bush in 2016 cos I believe in second chances and he served Ronnie Reagan well enough." 

War criminal #1, Sir Paul McCartney being fed soy bacon by his nurse ... Lets go see John, George and Bingo! ..... just eat up Sir Paul so you'll be strong enough for the new hip.    

Yes, a Presbyterian, Pagan and Nature Warlock of great power, not one to be trifled with but I do like banana flavoured jello, only artificial flavours though as I respect nature. I can feel the pain of all the plants as they get cut doon and plucked from life, they feel far more pain than animals do.
Don't talk to me about how cutting onions makes you cry when an onion is cut off the vine it cries ya heartless bastard! 

Old Knudsen likes weemen so only eating veggies or tofu or whatever is just impossible to do, if I couldn't eat meat I'd probably fall off the wagon and start eating babies again, but not baby potatoes cos that is just fucking cruel.

Hitler clenches in pain mid-shart. 

Of course I'm going to mention that Hitler was a vegetarian, probably still is. Hitler and Morrissey are probably the two most famous, nay infamous vegetarians there is. The evil committed by those two still sends a shudder through the core of Mother Nature herself. If you think that farting cattle contribute to green hoose gases then just think about a world of vegetarians. Hitler nearly achieved that in 1939 but they were too weak to win once General Patton cut off their protein shake supply line in 1944.

Vegetarians say they care about animal welfare yet never offer to take the place of a cow. Rule # 64 never trust a vegetarian, ask Neville Chamberlain about that one. Creatures designed to kill but pretend to be all self righteous by eating nuts an grass an shit .... yes Hitler did eat shit, it was for his bad stomach, I eat a couple of tums but each to their own.

That movie Alive, it was a vegetarian who first started to eat the dead ass strips, on the Titanic only vegetarians survived cos they get mean when they are hungry after years of pretending to be superior. There was room on that door for Jack but Rose said, "fuck up an die so I can eat you" .... I remember it well, if I hadn't cut open a fat person and wore them for the heat I wouldn't have survived, longest movie ever! Or seemed like it anyway. 

The Presbyterian in me denies that I am an animal but I'll go to Heaven as long as I pretend to be better than everyone else, I've a soul and am fuckin enlightened, of course I'll go to Heaven. The Satanist in me ..... did I mention I'm also a Satanist? Well the Satanist in me wears black and poses in capes a lot but embraces my animalistic urges, especially the flinging poo urge.

There is nothing wrong with admitting we are animals that do what animals do, unless of course that animal is a fucking lemur, I bet those bastards eat tofu. 




Stephen Barnes said...

If our good Lord had meant us to be vegetarians, he wouldn't have made animals taste so fucking good.

Old Knudsen said...

Bacon is a sure sign that God loves us.