Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Look Up It's Life

This could be you ... except yer reading this, you loser.

Old Knudsen doesn't like to be told what to do, especially by cunts .... which is everyone except him. So you get this Youtube that goes viral like yon clap yer Ma gave half of Scotland, it has a bloke speaking in verse about how if you don't switch off from social media or look up from yer phone then you'll miss out on life. 

Gary Turk not looking up. 

The poem starts off, I have 422 friends yet I am lonely, I speak to all of them everyday yet none of them really know me.
The problem I have sits in the space in-between, Looking into their eyes or at a name on a screen.

I took a step back and opened my eyes, I looked round and realised .... I'm an ugly cunt!

Ok that last bit was me, he isn't ugly, even with his very British lack of a chin and dull dead eyes.

For some reason he asks a woman for directions .... no chin and no cock either huh. The whole Youtube is a montage but doesn't show you the stalking he does to this lass to wear her doon, usually if you ask directions (I never have) you'd get them and go to the place, none of this "Hey do you know where the clap clinic is? ... and this may sound crazy since we've never met but can I cum on yer titties?"

How did he do it, is he a hypnotist? Hypnotists get pussy thrown at them where ever they go ... or is that ventriloquists? ach one of those two. Within the 5 minute video he fathers a child and grows old and dies .....  that'll teach him for looking up, he triggered some kind of aging vortex.

If you play Angry birds on yer phone or keep liking Facebook comments you'll never get yer hole. Nobody that uses social media has ever had a relationship or has ever bred ... that's a fact, right Gary?

Oh, check her out, I'm going to stand here and wait until she looks up and then we're going to have a lot of sex, shit! I bet she's texting her boyfriend, chicks who aren't ugly always have boyfriends.

I shall make her pay for this outrage with rivers of blood and shrubberies of skulls, mwahahaha! ..... wot, too soon? 

NO! Don't look up, it's a trap.

Of course this Youtube then tells you to LIKE and SHARE ......... you mean you .... used me?

Ok but this is real, we're gonna protest against Internet surveillance, we're going to TAKE BACK THE INTERNET! are you with me? Then enter yer name and e-mail address and the last 4 digits to yer social security number.

To really teach those NSA bastards also enter yer mother's maiden name and the town you were born.

LIKE and SHARE this post ..... and look up, there's a car coming.  

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