Wednesday, 7 May 2014

Scientists Find Use For Young People

Unless you have illnesses like aids or cancer or know someone who has them then you probably don't really care about the cure, which is why researchers of University of California, put looking for a cure on hold while they look into the effects of aging which is far more important.

They discovered something that many of us have known for years, the blood of the young can keep you young. Old Knudsen follows the example of many a hollywood star and bathes in the blood of young runaways.

Singer, Pharrell Williams is happy that young people are so full of life.

The Vatican have always been interested in it's followers having babies so they can molest them but they also use the children for other purposes such as the pope brand baby oil and powder. After a pint of baby stem cells the pope can levitate and shoot out lightning from his hands.

Men in white coats have found that by injecting the blood from younger mice into older ones you notice the old mice getting stronger and do better in learning and memory tests.
Harvard University have also done studies into this and believe that not only will it help with dementia but will also help Hollywood actors to stay young. 

Paul Villeda of the University of California says, "there is nothing worse than seeing your favourite actors in roles that someone half their age should be playing, I'm a big Arnold Schwarzenegger fan but the man is 66 and seeing him kick ass is just not very believable anymore, now we can make it believable again."  Good news for the Vatican who have a never ending supply of young blood, yet another business venture to corner the market on.

 Good news for the aging cast of the next Star Wars movie.

Kim Kardashian who is famous for having a large arse and being in a sex tape often has blood facials to hold back time. Kim who is the face for the charity 'Help for the homeless' has become widely acclaimed for reducing the homeless numbers on the streets of L.A. the slogan for the charity is 'If we can catch them then we can help them' so far hundreds of homeless people have found their perfect homes somewhere up north.  

Researchers at Leeds University are also doing similar anti-aging tests but require more time in order to cum to any conclusions.

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