Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Hygiene Is For The Weak

A smile to melt yer heart and make yer gunties damp.

There has been a story over the past week about Amou Haji, an 80 year old Iranian fella who hasn't showered or bathed in 60 years. I'm not sure what the actual story is as whats so odd about not washing? 
Old Knudsen was asked by Amou to set up a dating profile for him as he is sure that being on the Interwebs means he'll be having the pussy thrown at him just as Old Knudsen does.

Name: Amou Haji 
Age: 80 years young
Eyes: Two

I am a free spirit, a citizen of nature who loves nothing more than falling asleep under a blanket of sparkling stars. Hygiene is very important to me as I believe that the more natural you are the more healthier you'll stay. 
I see people who wash themselves daily and they all seem to get sick so I let nature protect me. I saw a man who washed and shaved every day and on his way to work he was knocked down and killed by a truck .... true story bro. 
I dine on rotten meat and drink dirty water from a rusted can and look at me, I can still do one armed push ups and fuck all night like a rock star.

To chillax I smoke numerous cigarettes at a time since I am so strong and healthy or I puff away on my pipe, the best tobacco I've found comes from animals and is pretty good shit, mostly because it is shit. 

With age also comes wisdom and I have a saying to suit all occasions, 'Animal shit is like women, the older it is the easier it is to pick up.'

I have been told that I'm a little bit of a Metrosexual and will compete for bathroom mirror time as I am quite vain. 
When my hair gets untidy I burn off the ends giving me a rugged Michael Fassbender kind of look. 

The only real difference between us would be the number of teeth as I say that less is more. You can still bite a titty with two teeth you know. 

I own villa among the beautiful Iranian countryside, the only rule of my home is to please remove your shoes when you enter.
I sleep in a hole that some have described as grave like but for the right person I am willing to make it a double ..... or I can be on top.

The area I live in is quite an exclusive one full of celebs, I used to drop in on Saddam Hussein all the time. Wrong country I'd say and we'd laugh.

I am happy living the dream and would like to share my outdoor paradise with the perfect partner. I have an idea of the kind of person I would like to share my life with but am open to compromise. 

I'd like a woman between the ages of 18 - 40 with a slim athletic, curvy build but with big tits and a nice tight bubble butt. 
Kim Kardashian before she was defiled by Kanye West would be similar to what I'm looking for though looks and intelligence are not of great importance to me as I am interested in sharing my heart with this person .... and I have plenty of paper bags if shes a minger.

I have the soul of a poet and a huge g-spot finding cock, as long as you know your place and don't answer me back we should be fine.        

If you are interested in contacting Amou (and who could blame you?) just e-mail Old Knudsen and I'll pass on yer interest. Get in early as I have a feeling he won't be on the market for long. 


No comments: