Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Hannah Montana Hates Wolves

The Montana Department of Fish, Wildlife & Parks have the job to maintain a healthy wolf population in Montana.
Wolves need to be hunted,  have you not seen yon Liam Neeson movie?

Wolves are dangerous vicious animals who once they have a taste for human flesh will track you doon over hundreds of miles and will rip you apart like a Flegger with a bucket of KFC.

Wolves attack 43,000 Americans each year, and it's not the same 43,000 Americans every year ..... shocked? Well you should be. I am also not sure if I'm wearing my own underwear today ...... shocked? Nah probably not.  

After extensive research on the subject Old Knudsen came to realise that these were wolves and it was actually toilets that injure 43,000 Yanks a year. Wolf attacks are rare and you have more chance of being ripped apart by yer pet dog.

If you die of natural causes in yer home you can be assured that yer furry best friend will eat yer eyeballs if left alone with you near dinner time.  

Pet dogs bite around 4.7 million Americans each year. Most attacks are the fault of the humans as Americans are just so fat and tasty. Old Knudsen has bitten many nationalities and Americans come third in preferred taste just behind the Swedish and the Cornish people of south west England.

So Hannah Montana and her kinfolk had the first ever wolf hunting season this year and are calling it a success.

A large Black wolf like the kind that killed Liam Neeson .... RIP

72 wolves were harvested/shot and license sales generated more than $325,000 in revenue. At $19 a pop thats over 17,000 licenses issued to hunters with the horn to kill wolves. Considering there was only 625 known wolves at the start of the season I find it pretty scary that they are playing lotto with wildlife.
what if 625 hunters got lucky?

The wolves in Montana just lost their Federal protection status and Americans want to kill them .... because they can.
Wolves killing livestock is fairly uncommon but those wolves are tracked doon and killed. Most wolves stay away from human areas and will avoid humans. There is not a wolf pest problem!

Wolverine has a very high body count per movie.... but what a body. 

Hunting wolves is common across the US and Canada and Old Knudsen sees no need for it unless it's protecting livestock or the town folk. Americans are psychos and if they aren't killing something they are trying to sell it, Canadians ...... they are all on crack cocaine and so have a valid excuse. 

Some people in Utah are trying to change the laws to kill their wolves because ... well just because. 

The Grey has a lot to answer for, and no, wolves eyes do not glow in the dark, they may reflect light but do not glow.

Ireland has no more wolves thanks to the English who were encouraged to kill bogtrotters, wolves, any other animals and to cut doon the trees. Many talk about reintroducing the wolf to Ireland but thats just crazy talk. 



Anonymous said...

Phhh ... I like wolves. German Shepherds too.

Old Knudsen said...

Wolves have a majestic,raw power my friend. German Shepherds are blokes with sheep, I don't judge you for yer love of them ... you sicko.