Friday, 12 April 2013

The Flexible Lady

People only knew the hard side of Thatcher but Old Knudsen saw the soft white under belly of the Iron lady when he worked as a part of her security detail.

One night when Maggie was working late on the closure of a children's hospital Old Knudsen noticed that her shoulders were up around her ears, "Ya need to relax ma'am you can't go making important decisions in a tensed up frame of mind" and with that Old Knudsen stepped in behind her and started rubbing her shoulders.
She tensed up even more at having been touched inappropriately by the hired help but like all weemen she soon succumbed to Old Knudsen's technique. She started to groan like a porn star and Old Knudsen felt his troosers getting tighter.

"Maybe you can help me with something" she said as she leaned into Old Knudsen's strong boney fingers, "An Argentine warship is out of the exclusion zone but is in our line of fire, it's sailing away from the Falkland islands, should I sink it or do the decent thing and let it go?"

The most powerful woman in the world asking Old Knudsen's permission. "Well considering Argies eat babies and worship Satan I'd sink it just to be safe. Every time a hero of a movie lets the bad guy go, he comes back and kidnaps the gurl or kills the heroes sidekick."

"Oh Knudsen, you have such a deep well of wisdom, may I call you Soren?" ......  "no."

She gave out a hearty horse laugh and stood up. "I bet you haven't seen a Prime Minister's knockers before" she said with a teasing smirk as she unbuttoned the jacket of her royal blue power suit. I had seen them before thanks to the hole I drilled in her bathroom wall.

"Would you like to give me a pearl necklace?" she asked as she seductively stroked her chest. Her nipples were hard and erect straining under her dull white cotton bra, they looked like a pair of frog eyes looking in either direction. Oh how Old Knudsen wanted to flick and suck on those JCB starter buttons.  

"Aye lass but first bend over yon desk, I want to be the guy that blows up yer hooses of parliament."  

The affair only lasted 6 months until President Reagan visited the UK again. Ronnie not liking the competition got Old Knudsen fired for stealing offices supplies and cruise missiles, soon Old Knudsen found himself out of work. Luckily a friend of Old Knudsen named Rock Hudson needed a gardener which was odd as he lived in an apartment..... he liked shoulder rubs too.