Monday, 17 May 2010

America Fuck Yeah

America is a wondrous place where any two faced lying, cheating racist cunt no matter how ridiculous you look can becum a hero and you may even get the chance to marry someone like Sandra Bullock or becum a senator or even president all depends on race, only white or white friendly non-threatening people may apply.

If you are famous you can murder yer wife and some other guy, lawyer up and get off with it. Of course if you do take the piss and do some other idiot crime you'll end up in a cushy prison getting back rubs from some inmates known as " The Gurls" and treated like royalty. Pretty good huh? OJ Simpson is the man!

Pedos are welcome and even Hollywood stars defend their actions in the hope of working with them some day.
I see British actress Charlotte Lewis said Polanski raped her when she was 16 . Is it really rape if yer famous? Also that 13 year-old he drugged and repeatedly abused well that was way back in 1977 so it hardly counts as a crime, Elvis died having a shit that year which I believe is vastly more important.
If it was yer own daughter you'd think nothing of it right? so way ta go capitalist Hollywood at least you know money and fame trumps hurt feelings and hoo hoos.

A cuntry not bogged doon with history because the American way is to forget and just hate for the moment because life is too short (mostly due to diet) In 2003 France was hated by many in the US ......... Old Knudsen hates them on a permanent basis which is fine as they are Britain's ancient enemy.
French fries (chips in the UK) were named Freedom fries, bottles of French wine (vinegar in the UK) were poured doon the gutter.
If it wasn't for the French backing up the traitorous Americans of the revolution the Yanks wouldn't had won on land in 1781 and at sea in 1783. The French have always had a habit of stringing the enemies of Great Britain along with promises of help, just ask the not so bonnie prince Charlie.

Nixon was forced to eat peaches or some kind of shite because he sweated on TV. Nixon is a hero, he was a man ahead of his time who set up the patriot act on the sly long before George W Bush ever had the nerve to. Now not only can yer cell phones (mobile phones in the UK) be tapped but Jack Bauer can triangulate yer arse and find you, or simply use the installed GPS on some models.
Nixon was pardoned by his old Vice president but the stigma hung around the poor fella.

BP, Transocean and Halliburton are fucking class. Eleven workers may have died on the oil rig that blew up in the Gulf of Mexico .......... whatever, no publicity is bad publicity you'll still buy our shit!
While the oil may be making its way up to Greenland BP, Transocean and Halliburton are entertaining us with ideas of giant top hats, funnels, human hair sponges and lets throw junk at it ideas also blaming each other for the spill.
I suspect a lower BP manager (not BP America) will do the British thing and shoot himself in his office with his service revolver and everything will be ok , well except for the pollution.
The FDA will do a test on the blackened water and say its safe to drink. Sorry safe for the public to drink and Halliburton will sell it bottled as a new energy drink called ' slickade.'

57% of water wells in the US are contaminated with nitrates the FDA are happy with this. Animal waste seeping into the water table and sold to consumers all over the US. Hey don't get me wrong its no a third world cuntry here could Mexico have made Avatar? fuck no! you just can't drink the water without yer kidneys dying or getting cancer. Lucky everyone has health care.

Fuck the water, fuck the land and fuck the children. America is about more than that. Its about freedom, taking liberties and sayin yer bigger and better than everyone else and that takes a particular type of bravery especially if you can't really back it up with results.

The military have been using an eco-friendly ammunition round to make guns and shooting at shite more popular I suppose. While the round melts in the heat of Iraq its great for training with in the US and other not so hot places.
The old rounds had perchlorate and potassium which left a nasty taste in yer mouth when shot with and had bad chemicals that contaminated the perchlorate in the drinking water.

Old Knudsen salutes the US military and the government in its many ways to save money in order to keep yer freedoms free.
If ever there was a priority it would be an environmentally friendly round so when you invade cuntries at least those stone age ragheads will have clean drinking water.

The world has a lot to learn from the Americans, well the Chinese did learn a lot from the CIA manuals for interrogation so well done.
We Brits tried to tell the world but after ruling a up to a quarter of it for a few hundred years, well you just can't tell some people and they have to learn from their own mistakes.

Oh and for any tea party wankers who hi-jack historical names, this isn't an anti-American rant by a non American if its true it isn't anti-American so fuck off on yer power scooter ya fat bastard.

Remember the first rule of fight club............ no survival, I mean survival, "Don't panic."



Reggie said...

Old Knudsen there is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America.

Anonymous said...

Well said, Reggie. I have never lived in the US of A. In fact i only ever spent 3 days in boston. However, i reckon that all any country needs is to sit back and listen to a few hours of delta blues, some Hank williams, a bit of Western swing and some bluegrass. Then it would all be fine. And if people could watch some Citizen Kane while doing that, so much the better.

Reggie said...

That's what I'm talking about Bavarian Orange Order. The way I see it is if the Jews and the Arabs had college basketball in the middle east, everything there would be so much better.

Yeah that and they should stop making their women wear those goddamn burkas and get laid more often too. That ought to take the starch out of the Ayatollah's shorts.

Anonymous said...

What or if you insist: who is this creature in the first picture?

Anonymous said...

Glad we agree, Reggie.
I am also at one with you regarding the sexual liberalisation of the middle east.
But I have to say that when you go to Jerusalem, there is nothing quite so attractive as all those Israeli girls (who are very pretty, by the way), walking the streets in uniforms and carrying guns. Believe me, its something to behold, so I reckon the Israelis are doing ok.

Anonymous said...

Bavarian Orange - you just want to fuck an NCO.

Reggie said...

I hear ya Bavarian Orange Order, I distinctly remember a nice Jewish girl that I went to school with that I so desperately wanted to give a spanking to.

Anonymous said...

Er, Mago - Reggie and I are having an innocent discussion on the aesthetic merits of a certain kind of lady here, I for one can do without the filth and disgusting insinuations.

Reggie - did you manage to give her a good spanking?

Anonymous said...

Oh sorry, ramble onwards christian soldier!

Reggie said...

No........I ended up having to give myself one.

Cathy said...

Hey Reggie I'm not Jewish, but even better I was raised catholic so I have plenty of old guilt that requires a good fanny-wack. Now I'm gonna earn it by saying I'm sick of hearing how the good things in this country outweigh and overcome the bad. Sure we birthed Muddy Waters and Rita Hayworth and The Eagles, but why are we so content to be fat lazy non-voting apathetic whores for this country, while breaking every law we can? OBB has a few points but does seem to forget he's talking about a very puny minority known by name who are guilty of what we all are: being greedy average Joes who expect instant gratification. Like any human no matter what country.

donn said...

Cathy I beg to differ about the fat lazy non-voting apathetic whores for this country..
over 100 million Americans voted on American Idol!