Saturday, 4 July 2009

So How Is That Independence Thing Workin Out For Ya?

Blah blah fucking blah so what you defeated the British. Yank peasants about to be crushed got saved by the French navy you must be so proud, I remember when the French saved us from the Rainbow Warrior.

Twenty years previous to yer rebellion the French almost aided Bonnie prince Charlie but wanted to see how well he would do. The lad did invade England but lost his nerve when the frogs didn't turn up and then lost his nerve at the battle of Culloden in 1746 when he ran away like the bloody pretend Scottish eye-tie he was.

Yeah ya got lucky and it seems it was the worse mistake you ever made. Just look at the state of the place, no state religion no socialised health care and no foreskins. The blacks get to shit on the white gheys in ghey marriage elections what the fuck? The white gheys should be the ones in power, social order gone mad.

No lords to doff yer cap to as they pass you by and spit on you and half yer leaders are actors and comedians, yeah here is an idea we'll elect yer man with OCD who solves all those crimes every week as president cos he must have the smarts and we'll have that chick who was the terminator from that canceled TV show as Vice president. Old Knudsen would like to perform some of his vices on her.

My Umbi, um um um.......... "Look I pished a puddle"

Old Knudsen has decided that the only thing great about America is it's weemen everything else can fuck off.

If Old Knudsen wasn't a gentleman he'd make a star busting comment about that young lady.

No wonder ya beat us look at the motivation we had.

The real celebration will be on the 11th night and 12th day of July so save some rejoicing for then as you can toast the 1690 victory over the Fenians by the Dutch midget King William III of Lavender.

No not that King Billy.

Old Knudsen was there around 1690 which is 24 hour clock talk, military time for you civvies, we had just beat the Sioux at the river Boyne and Billy said, " Lookin ze there I seez und dyke" and charged off to stick his finger in her as the bloody Dutch are prone to do.

He died later that day with a rope around his neck and his genitals alone in his tent but we gave him a fake death for the history books befitting a Dutchman who only wanted the throne as a source of revenue. We planned to have him go out in a hail of musket and grape shot, no idea why they shot grapes at us.

We tied him to his horse and rode him out to scare the Catholics, maybe it was the rope cutting off the circulation to his dead old bitter balls that had turned purple that really scared the taigs but then the horse 'Old Trippy' stumbled into a mole hole, the mole screamed an unearthly cry as anyone would with a horse's hoof up yer arse and Billy hit the dirt.

The 4th of July? :::::::::: spits on the traitor Denzil Washington::::::::::::: Its the 12th you want, fireworks are for fingerless plebs what you want is the beauty of a petrol bomb spreading over a Land Rover while the Spide who threw it pats out his burning fingers. Bottle rockets? Half bricks tumbling through the air bouncing off a riot shield pure poetry .

I will represent on yer Yank day! With me red hand, crown and star of David ...................

I shall also end this post on the greatness that is America. Can you no smell the freedom?

1 comment:

Nick Cage Revealed said...

I smell something like the ocean at low tide...