Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Phasers On Rape

Old Knudsen is conflicted. Captain Kirk has always been the man. A tough commander who has the respect of his crew (except the red shirts) and always finds time for a snog. Fight it , shag it or fight it then shag it or shag it and fight it he always cums up with some option and never gives up until hes done one or the other.

A man like that has Old Knudsen's respect. I've been with him throughout the green weeman and mind controlling aliens , Old Knudsen was there when those Klingon bastards killed his son ....................... Klingon bastards!

Old Knudsen even hung around to see him fall and break his hip and die all in the line of saving that baldy wuss Picard.

Ever see the next generation episode 'The perfect mate'

A woman designed to implant onto a man to be his perfect woman ............... that means she''ll do everything blow jobs don't stop after marriage .

She is on her way to be married but implants onto Picard by accident. Picard has to choose between duty and love. He choses duty and even gives her hand in marriage like the wet blanket he is.

WWKD? Kirk would shag her all the way to the wedding, hand her over and hit on all the bridesmaids. Any time he passes that way he'd knock the pan out of the husband and tap his wife cos he is Kirk.

Do we really know what Kirk would do?

Embrace the Kirk within you .

Paramount kept moving away from Kirk with the polar opposite Picard , the lazy big black fella, the Katherine Hepburn woman and the ugly Quantum leap dude.

Now the franchise is in shite order. We'll get a ship stick some foreheads on people and throw in a hot chick , stories? just change the names in the old ones.

Star Trek Starbucks, " What the hell is a Double Tall White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino® Light Blended Coffee? Q ? Q? stop messing about Q you've had your fun."

Now to the latest film which Old Knudsen has not yet seen. Yes I want to see it. Its like one of those things in life that you have to do like drugs or sticking things up yer arse.

The cast looked strangely familar except for Scotty and kirk. Scotty will always be English Shawn of the dead guy they should have got a real jock like Spud from Train spotting.

And then Kirk. Some skinny lad with big nostrils, something about his face that you just want to slap.
He may be a brilliant actor and he'll win a hardcore Shatnerite over who knows?

Oh crap yer alien space cock is bigger than mine.

I'm a little picky where Kirk is concerned. I have noticed that the Star Trek shirts look like those sports type shirts you see all the logo laden gangstas wearing I wonder if they have a special trainer by Nike.
No Paramount its about quality not merchandise, ya might as well call it Star Wars Trek then .


MJ said...

A woman designed to implant onto a man to be his perfect woman ............... that means she''ll do everything blow jobs don't stop after marriage .

Clearly we are talking Science Fiction here.

And I'd like a nice hot cuppa tea and a heating pad for my cramps while you're up.

Leah said...

I am picky about my Kirks too, after all he was my second boyfriend, right after Spock.