Wednesday, 17 June 2009

The Naked Truth

What is existence? If mankind vanishes will everything that has been acknowledged still exist? Do I only exist when you click on me blog? How can you be so ugly with only one head?

Someone once said there are no stupid questions only stupid answers, that person was beat to death with a half brick, shoved into a plastic barrel full of lemon (the murderer had no lime) and buried in a land fill in *Yorkshire.*

Yahoo questions is like a black-hole that mongs gravitate to in order to learn. They have the power of the Interweb at their fingers and so choose to ask other mongs instead.

Is there life after death has been a question that has been asked for thousands of years, it has now been dumbed doon to this.

If you die what happens to your facebook?

Does it delete itself or is it left all lonely and that?

We of course worry about our blogs cos we is sad fucks, especially those who have a post ready for when they die. Yes Old Knudsen's death post is extremely funny and he has also scheduled 100 further posts because entertaining you cunts for free is what he lives, er sorry dies for. I won't be commenting much but I don't anyway.

Other questions have been:

What's the difference between day classes and night classes?

Are there any differences between day classes and night classes at a community college?

Would I have to graduate later if I take night classes instead?

Why are the holes in cats fur always in the right places for their eyes?

Girlfriend aint had period since?

ok im kinda worryed here since my g/f got pregnant and all she isnt been havein her period do u think the baby is drinkin the blood??? she 6 month pregnant

How turn computer monitor into mirror?

Hi. Does anyone know if it's possible to use a background that would essentially turn my computer monitor into a mirror? Scanning a mirror doesn't work.

Is it ok to touch yourself when you hear your parents have sex?

"I know it may sound weird, but my parents are still pretty young and have very loud sex and sometimes late at night I can hear them and I cant help but touch myself. Is this bad or is it something other people have done too?"

Old Knudsen would like to answer this question for his reader. It is as normal as wanking off over ghey porn and snuff films. It was ok for Jesus so it should be ok for you.......... or are you antisemitic you four by two, five by two, half-past two , box of glue and kangaroo hating cunt?

Then there is the fascination with violence. 8 out of 10 yahoo users have never been in a fight or dangerous situation of any kind but they are drawn to it like flies round shite.

Have you ever been shot at by a real gun?

How can I win a fist fight without being scared?

How do you fight someone bigger, stronger and faster that you?

Have you ever been beat up in a fight..??

Old Knudsen shall answer these:

Depends on yer reality, good training or fighting disabled people, with a weapon, yes.

Old Knudsen has questions even he cannot answer. Have a go if you dare.

1) Are there any unguided missiles?

2)Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer?

3)What happens if you go on a survival course - and you don't pass?

*Not the real location so don't bother looking*


Xmichra said...

lol... I don't know the answers to #1 or #2, pretty sure the answer to #3 is you become the head of a political party.

Leah said...

I feel certain that some of these questions were posed by the bastard child of Philip K. Dick and Gertrude Stein.

And let me add that you, Old Knudsen, are looking very handsome today, grizzled just like I like.

MJ said...

Leah likes 'em old and jowly.

But getting back to me...

I want to die before you as I cannot imagine a world without Old Knudsen in it.

Momentary Madness said...

I don't know that's all I know.
Now, do I get the fuckin' prize or wha'.
For Jasus sake will you stop asking questions; readin' all those books 'ill do yer fuckin' head in, ugly or not.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Old Knudsen said...

I would fix the titles in some of those questions but old Knudsen is mainly not caring.

Donn Coppens said...

You need to switch to decaf.

My Pappy told me to never start fights, just finsih them.

The thing about the cat eyes being in the right place has me all in a tizzy.

Honestly, why do you always spoil it all with y'er infernal hard nosed journalism..let it be. No good can come from trying to figure it all out...just more that mirror monitor conundrum...dammit.

Ron Knee said...

I have been shot at by a real gun by some little prick who didn't appreciate it when i grabbed hold of the gun and turned it round to face himself. I took the gun off him and gave it to a pal of mine.(incident happened in Bielefeld, Germany)