Tuesday, 9 June 2009


Thunder only happens in my gunties!

Not everyone can be a young cool 42 year-old man who can still relate to the younger generation by getting a Hannah Montana tattoo like Stephen Baldwin . Oh no some of us has aged enough that getting an underaged gurl's initials on yer shoulder forever may be a little strange and creepy.

Old Knudsen is no pedo, he'll wait until miss Montana is 18 and then he'll bust the slut 's star over a wheelie bin. Two adults in semi consensual sex nothing creepy there. Old Knudsen is too open minded to worry about the age gap, when he shags a young firm bodied lass he isn't thinking 'What are people going to say?' I won't tell you what he is thinking you can't handle Old Knudsen's thought processes.

Damn you Baldwin for being so cool. I really don't know how McCain failed to win with such big stars on his side. Here is a snippet of his speech:

" God wants Jim McCain to be the king and God is good and gheys are bad and if I died and got to Heaven and found God didn't exist then God would have to face Stephen Baldwin but crackers are also nice, cheesy ones are good. Ritz crackers are the ones Satan eats and Satan is ghey."

Old Knudsen still has dreams and things he wants to do with his life and to other people.

I want my readers to give me dirty jobs followed by a steaming hot lunch on my chest.

Old Knudsen has achieved many things in his life but some of his dreams he has still yet to realise.

  • Give Rachael McAdams the old Killamory injection 22 ways on a Sunday.
  • Climb the north side of K-9.
  • Pave over the Amazon and make an Amazon like fun park .
  • Jump a shark while on water skis.
  • Abduct Donn and force him to love me.
  • Get diplomatic immunity.
  • World peace by the mass execution of cunts.
  • Get my own Hollywood behind the scenes episode.
  • Beat the pope in an arm wrestling match, its cheating when he has God on his side.

Old Knudsen has fears aplenty. He does not want to die in a Bangkok hotel with a rope around his neck and genitals in a closet. Well I wouldn't mind as long as I had a load of hot gurly boys towards the end of a 3 day orgy, being alone would be just sad as what kind of loser would you have to be?

Old Knudsen does not discriminate against weemen with penis' he loves all weemen.

As Old Knudsen gets older he sees his main dream fading away into the darkness, ah yes Old Knudsen has always wanted to be a Gap dancer. In fact he turned doon the role of the new Wiggle when Greg caught the aids in case The Gap called him to dance for them.

Old Knudsen fitted in with the Wiggles as you can see, his easy smile and charm winning over young children's hearts. The ring cums off baby!

Some might tell you I couldn't get my sex offender status revoked but since that was all just a huge mistake anyway it was because I choose not to take it so don't listen to the tabloids.

I no longer see Gap adverts on the telly maybe due to the recession, its cruel to let dreams die as I did to that cunt in the trenches of Flanders.

Some day, some way,
I just want to dance,
some way, some day,
If I only had the chance.


MJ said...

I see in that last pic that you're wearing a wedding ring.

Who was your bride at the time that photo was taken?

tony said...

Your Never Alone With A Ring On Your Finger...........

mago said...

Well Knudsen, YOU never walk alone ...

Boxer said...

I was on a trip and I came by to see if you were still alive.

I heard about David Carradine and thought it was you instead.


Old Knudsen said...

Its a promise ring or maybe it was to remind me of something.

Donn Coppens said...

Awesome inspiring writing. I have no qualms about you being famous and having relationships with superstars...but there is only room for one Baldwin in Hollywood and it ain't this one...so leave the D-Lister on his reality show and start watching the good Baldwin on 30 Rock!