Happy Trumpsgiving!

Before you get stuck into that turkey let me remind you what you have to be grateful for .... yes for Donald Trump ... me! I shall make America great again like the time we had most of the known world in our empire and when we ruled the waves until the moderate rebels destroyed our Death Star.

Shut up Johnny I'm completely sober, you know what else was a sober .... sight? Seeing those twin towers come down on 9/11.
I was in my apartment at the Trump tower 4 miles away and as I dangled upside down from my sex swing I could see people jumping to their deaths as the planes struck.
I rubbed off the oil and put of some clothes and went to help. It was difficult getting in and out of the buildings to save people as angry Arabs cheering and celebrating filled the streets all shouting, "Death to America" you probably saw them on the news reports.
I had to fight off some illegal Hispanics who were trying to rape a hard working American woman, something's up with that am I right?

As the buildings came down the Arabs all cheered, I wasn't very happy. Then something came floating down from above. It was Muslim passport with a refugee stamp in it from one of the terrorists and the stamp was signed by Obama, even back then he was working to destroy America.

9/11 would never have happened if we had built walls at our borders, unless Obama gave his Muslim friends some advanced ladder technology like he gave the Iranians nukes. 

Shout up Denise I'm talking here! If you look at Obama's real birth certificate you'll see the 'B' in Obama looks like an 'S' and that his middle name is after his god father, a man you may know as Saddam Hussein. Barack is Kenyan for 'son of ' so you work it out for yourselves but I didn't vote for him. Obama is horrible, the turkey is dry and Hilary is weak at making sandwiches and on immigration.

Fuck you Rob I do care about the homeless veterans, I told one in the street to 'get a job' then I charged him $500 for that bit of financial advice.

I saw over on Ellis island a family of Syrian refugees, the parents were strapping explosive vests to their children and telling them to go into churches ..... then they changed their minds because no one actually goes to church in this great Christian nation of ours so instead go into Macy's on Black Friday, that can't be good.

Now Donald, that's a good Thanksgiving rant but it went a little racist with the whole Black Friday thing. We should be grateful that I am the greatest rock 'n' roll star ever! You might be Donald Trump but you ain't Kanye West bitch! That turkey reminds me of my beautiful Kim, my next baby is gonna be named South so he/she can get a sponsorship deal with Southwest airlines.

Cherokee princess Iron Eyes Cody crying because you don't lift up yer trash. 

Thanksgiving is not just about sales and racist rants over turkey, it goes back to the time when white people tricked idiot savages to feel sorry for them and then they used that compassion to take their land and engage on a campaign of genocide against them. 

Let us all be thankful for being white overlords .... it's fucking awesome! Those who aren't, I'm sorry for yer loss.  Lets also be thankful that we have food in our bellies, a roof over our heads and access to alcohol and strong medication, if you don't then you've failed at the game of life, go live in a teepee ya injun hippy. 

Compassion costs nothing and is often long remembered. If you see a homeless person, be they veteran or not, stop for a moment and share a little humanity with them with a kind word, ask them how their Thanksgiving dinner was and what they are doing for Christmas, maybe advise them to wash a little more often as they sometimes forget.     

Obliviously if they are of an ethnic persuasion and yer a cracker don't approach 'those' people for yer own safety. 

Let us all be grateful and ignore those less fortunate than us because it's all about plates of food followed by the traditional bloated self loathing and ignoring the old drunken racist aunt or uncle sitting in the corner. 

 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  .... terms and conditions may apply. 

Thanksgiving Arses

My cap is off to whoever created this picture and I don't mean Norman Rockwell. Happy Thanksgiving to all my American peeps and please take time to think about all of those less fortunate than you .... like the French.

Also happiness and safety to those serving in Afghanistan and Iraq, though we've pulled our troops out except they are still there. You are fighting though not really technically for our freedoms and huge greasy arses, we salute you.

Obama And His Turkey Stuffed With Lies

 

One of the greatest lies that the Obama administration has pulled on the American people has been the Thanksgiving turkey pardon. 

Every year Obama does the presidential pardoning of a turkey who is then saved from getting eaten on Thanksgiving. 

The turkey has done no crime and yet it has to get pardoned? call the ACLU for fucks sake and maybe Amnesty.

You can plainly see from these photos that it's the same turkey every year. The only change was this year when they upgraded one of Obama's daughters. Malia (real name Laquenetta Washington) had not been coping well with alcohol and prescription drugs addiction and so was replaced with an older, more photogenic and much taller Malia.     

Turkey experts from all over the world have come to the conclusion it's the same bird. Jack Platter a former White House aide said, "We use a well trained crisis actor turkey named Teddy, we may add some color to his head or give him  extra feathers but the tell tale mark on his chest gives it away."  

The reason for pardoning the same bird is that most live turkeys in the US have been pumped with so many hormones and mood enhancing drugs that a live turkey is too angry and aggressive to be put on show.
Thanksgiving has been used for many years to target the public with a drug delivery system to sedate and docilate the American people, making them more suggestive and apathetic.

There are some side effects with a small percentage of the population. All US serial killers and school shooters have enjoyed many years of having turkey at Thanksgiving and then one at Christmas. You'll never get a vegetarian serial killer, it just doesn't happen.

 

A double dose of  Triptosilene twice a year and then what ever you ingest from the amounts in the chicken and bacon can be too much for some people. If you look on all the pathology reports on mass shooters you'll find the components to an unknown drug in their system, those who know it can easily identify it as Triptosilene otherwise it gets noted down as anti-depressants.

It is well known that president Obama has a food tester, this is not paranoia but is procedure to ensure he doesn't eat foods laced with Triptosilene, the tester uses a color changing strip to determine if the food is safe or not.  Small amounts can be safe but the last thing you want is your President or Presidential candidate having a meltdoon or brain farts on TV.

The lack of pork being eaten at the White House has fueled the rumors of Obama being a Muslim, duck, goose, beef and lamb are the usual meat products consumed there and only seafood sourced from specific regions.
George W Bush loved his Thanksgiving turkey and every year Obama likes to have a laugh at that as he tucks into his goose.

    

Be Thankful You Ain't Living On A Reservation Without A Casino

Its a sad fact but I the last of the Mowiggas a proud Injun tribe of the great planes. We had our casino on the great river Boeing until pale face took away our liquor license and moved us all into brown stone apartments in Manhattan.
Ok I'm really just an honorary member after marrying several of their young weemen, the marriage ceremony involved a great deal of pain and endurance but those gurls were up to it. I sold the tribal land to some Pilgrims for some lovely handcrafted side tables it wasn't actually my land as we injuns don't believe any man can own the land so I was kinda tricked, fucking religious zealot crazy cunts, may they all burn in Hell like Darth Vader did.


Do we Injuns get together and eat Turkey and stuffing? well only if yer offering, we may be tricked into giving away our lands for beads but we ain't stupid enough to turn down a free meal.

Who gives a fuck if they are happy or not? you got yers. Remember kindness like helping Pilgrims through harsh winters or welcumming Columbus to yer dinner table is seen as a sign of weakness. You don't want yer land taken by that Andrew Jackson cunt so if in doubt take them out.


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I Give Thanks

Its Thanksgiving day and no I'm not thankful for the whole ethnic cleansing of the native Americans which was fun I might add and deserves to be celebrated I am thankful for these things.
That I have lived as long as I have with a good quality of life while many others haven't and don't.

That I defeated the Daleks with only 8000 people dying .................... it could have been worse.



That I'm not American, especially Texan for Floridian.


That my Knudsen hoors still love me even after the drugs had worn off ..... long story.


That I am so incredibly sexy.


That I tapped all of these arses.



But most of all I am thankful for the erections I get most mornings, its the little things that matter.

No I'm not saying I have a small willy ach do I not exude the confidence of a man with inches to spare?

Ribbed for her pleasure. Enjoy yer Turkey and stuffing.


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Give Thanks For Knudsen

I just looked up Canadian Thanksgiving as I was wondering what those cunts had to be thankful for, Celine Dion? it was some bloke who was looking for the Northwest passage who stopped to give thanks.
I give thanks to Gobal warming because now we have a Northwest passage. It was also the Americans who weren't traitors to the Crown going up to live in Canada after the Revolutionary war and they took their customs with them.

The Thanksgiving in Canada is more based on the European one than a pretend sit doon with Indians before taking their land one and of course the origin of Thanksgiving goes back to Pagan times so I condemn all those who celebrate this feast, shame of you all and I hope Satan doesn't burn yer turkey when you get doon there.

The ironic thing is that while Canada is having their Thanksgiving feast the Americans are celebrating Columbus day when some Eyetie got lost and found America wiping out thousands with diease and destroying cities with war.

Another ironic thing is that he didn't discover shit, the Chinese and my fellow Viking were here centuries before him. In yer face Columbus.


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