God Wants You To Buy Cabbage

Clarence Blackmon aged 81-year-old from North Carolina got out of hospital after months of cancer treatment to find an empty home, empty fridge, no food, not even tins of cat food (old people love that shit) and he didn't know what to do.

His wife had died from cancer in 2011 and he had no relatives nearby so he called 911.

Luckily he got 911 operator Marilyn Hinson. He said he had money to pay for the groceries and wanted  " a head of cabbage, tomato juice, popcorn, cans of beans and beets, an avocado and some Pepsi. He said, 'I don't want no diet, I want Pepsi in the bottle.'"

After being drafted into the army in 1954 he worked as an administrator for a petroleum company for 40 years before retiring.

When his wife died in 2011 he had so many bills and now only one pension and lost his home of 35 years to foreclosure in 2014.

"I thank the lord I had Wanda for as long as I did, but I miss her and our house, life is unpredictable and unfortunately it doesn't get easier as we get older."

Has he had a good run? losing yer spouse at any age is rough then losing his home that should have been paid off with him living worry free wasn't good. He's had better than some who never made it to 81 and of course he doesn't have too much more time left according to the doctors.  

Marilyn Hinson with two peelers.

911 operators hear sad stories everyday and don't usually intervene personally. Authorities are now working with a local church to help Mr Blackmon and a nurse will call on him every day. What he wants to do is get online and cause some trouble in comment sections "I'll sure burn your ears -- good or bad. That’s just the way I am."

Old Knudsen understands the need to tell people what their problem is, that becomes like a duty when you reach the 80 year mark,  ach I remember my 80th birthday party so well, all me friends were there, some wee shite tried to blow the 8 candles out on me Spider man cake but I stopped him, then I was asked to leave ... me own fucking party. I grabbed me cake and some presents and left, who gives an 80 year old Pokemon toys? .... some people have no clue at all.    

This is a sad story but it's good he was helped, the problem I have is when he or someone else says this, "I thought, ‘Jesus, you answered those prayers.’"  

Sure the desperate pray when they can do nothing else but to give Jesus the credit for the actions of some good people. Maybe people doing the right thing is just so uncommon that it 'has' to be divine intervention. 

 

God created the earth in 6 days, had his son tortured to death to make people like him and has done fuck all ever since ... well until he makes a 911 operator get groceries for Mr Blackmon. You could say he made Marilyn Hinson's parents shag and got her to get a job on dispatch, that was God's or even Jesus' doing ... aren't they the same person anyways? 

Yeah sure thing, lets blame Henry Ford for all the road deaths then and whoever invented the rope for loads of suicides. 

Aren't you pissed off that yer life is where it is at Mr Blackmon?  God is a busy man, handing out cancer and killing the Nepalese, do you really think he cares about you? 

Malala Yousafzai the gurl who was shot in the head by the Tallyban in Pakistan was flown to the UK to undergo surgery on the NHS, when she woke she gave thanks to God for being alive, I don't know if she thanked God for shooting her in the head since the Tallyban are only doing God's werk.    

 And God did say'th ... Fuck these 6 fish in particular, and so they were proper fucked. 

People give Santa the credit for gifts at Christmas and Jesus and God when good things happen to them. I only hear the likes of Pat Robertson giving God the credit for natural disasters which are God's work as Satan doesn't have that kind of power. 

It's funny how some minds work though give people in yer life the credit they deserve or you'll only have invisible sky fairies to rely upon in yer old age.  

Recycling Old People Parts

Off to the knacker's yard for ya.

About half of Britain’s 260 crematoriums have been participating in a scheme (some call them programs but we like to sound shifty) to recycle steel hips, plates, gold teeth and screws that are collected after cremation and sold on with the money raised going to charity.

The Dutch company makes use of the 75 tonnes a year of people junk selling it on to be made into car parts, airplane parts, road signs and household objects. Of course the loved ones are asked to sign a consent form allowing them to do so.

One family who were interested to know if a bullet had been found in their WWII hero father were handed a 1 LBS bag of metal as their father had stepped on a mine and still had shrapnel in his leg. Try scattering those ashes.

It would probably be a little cuntish and disrespectful to not tell the relatives huh?

Welcome to Northern Ireland where cuntishness is the norm and we don't do no respect.

Roselawn Crematorium in Belfast says 'fuck yer dead ... it's time to move on anyways' and have done 11,000 cremations since the scheme started in 2010 and have not mentioned going through loved ones ashes for metal bits.

I bet they didn't use magnets and tongs like they say they do but sifted old uncle Bob using a riddle.

Belfast council said: “It is not deemed necessary to provide this information and no family has ever requested it. However, we keep this under review.”

Uh yeah we also put half of yer granny into the grinder for dog food but since you never asked we didn't think it worth telling you about. 

The National Association of Funeral Directors didn't even know the scheme was happening in Belfast. As well as cuntishness there is also a high level of incompetence throughout this tagnut on the arse of the UK Province.

The city council had not even listed a charity for the 2 tonnes of scrap metal money to go to so instead of local charities that money was divided around other UK charities .... like I said, incompetence.

I also don't like the way they just say, 'oh it goes to charity' charity is not a place nor is it a proper answer. If it went to that Belfast charity that drives mini vans around to get drunk people safely home at night I'd say go fuck off, if they can drink they can get a taxi.   

Recycling people parts is a great idea, have you bought any jewelry since 2010? It might have some gold teeth melted into it or when you make a cup of tea you might be putting someone you know on the boil.

I bet a lot of the ashes you get back are from half the town who have died, people all come out the same. I wonder if they have a set weight to give to people and the rest gets sold as cat litter or something.
I guess it pays to ask a load of questions so some cunt doesn't say, 'well no one asked.'

Yet again another example of how the Nazis were ahead of their time. The ever growing population and dwindling resources I think it's always best to ask what is in the mystery meat yer eating ... aw fuck it, just pass the red sass, as if that would put me off.