How To Make Your Own Fortune

I want to say one word to you. Just one word, are you listening? .... Shit! The future is shit. Not plastics, oil or pork bellies it's shit.

Sewage sludge contains traces of gold, silver and platinum, enough for people to take an interest. If it wasn't enough for us to waste perfectly clean water by pooping into it we also throw away precious metals when we have a dump.

Arizona State University estimated that a city of one million flushed away about $13m (£8.7m) worth of precious metals each year.

I always wondered what went on at universities. If I had known it was nothing to do with boring education and lerning books and werds I might have gone.   

No don't be rushing out to yer local plant that dumps into the sea there are better ways that shifting through tons of shit.
Chemicals called leachates can pull the metals out of the sludge and in a setting such as a sewage plant those pesky harmful chemicals won't kill off the environment as they are prone to do during mining operations.

Valuable minerals can be found in shampoo, detergent, drugs and pharmaceuticals, also nanoparticles put into socks to control the odour .... my feet often smell like damp musky caramel, must be the nanoparticles.

With all the vitamins and crazy meds that Americans have you'd expect a fortune. Experts also claim that the average American is also more full of shit that most other nations .... and it's true.

Plop research shows that 1kg of sludge contained about 0.4mg gold, 28mg of silver, 638mg copper and 49mg vanadium .... and other shit.  Old Knudsen is going to drop a deuce or 3 and if it's any way solid (24% chance of being solid) I'm taking it to a pawn broker to see how much I'll get.  

 Bill Gates has a drink of poo water. 

A facility in Tokyo already mines for gold in poo and they are getting as much as a real mine would. The Swedes are more um odd and prefer to turn treated sewage into clean drinking water and energy. There a plant in Africa that also does this.

While drinking yer own piss is a normal enough thing, I mean we all do it right? I don't think I'd be thirsty enough to drink a taxi driver or worse a politician's waste water. I'll be giving Dakar a miss if I'm ever offered soldier of fortune jobs in Africa.

In England there is a power plant in Northumbria that converts honest hard working northern waste into energy. Other plans to do this have been refused by the government because they are cunts that prefer to frack and bomb Syrians ... no money for poo plants, sorry we're broke... yeah right.

 One hot lunch coming up. No relish cos that would be gross.

Yeah ok, I may have gotten the US election wrong which means WWIII has been moved up to whenever the president takes offence on Twitter or something but I see the future as being totally shit.

A factory assembly line of workers on the shit shift, pushing out their kept in morning glories for profit. You can actually say yer job is shit without being a whiny little bitch.
Old Knudsen would be working flexitime as you just never know when the gravy train is going to arrive with him ... again Tesco, I do apologize but yer toilets were at the back of the store and I don't do running.  


So if you ever doubt yer self worth you can at least count on yer poo having some value. You aren't a complete loser.     

Selfie Sunday

 1

 

 Old Knudsen so many offers and proposals that he mostly just ignores them. After that Nigerian scam offering to sell me a wife I've just given up trusting. Here are some of the selfies that get sent to me by my readers and other admirers.

2

Just normal people with normal fake boobs.

3

This lass from Ballymena often sends me pictures of herself standing beside some sexy sheep, aye Old Knudsen knows when someone is playing mind fucks with him. Attraction by association .... nice try lass.

4

Skyler here knows that I value brains as well as beauty and so wears glasses. The Nazis during WWII sent anyone who wore glasses to the concentration camps as they just assumed that they were the liberal intellectual elite types, I bet yon history lesson got ya well horny.

5

Is it shallow of me that I don't care what this gurl looks like? .... good.

 6

I think someone bought the Insanity keep fit DVD's. 

7

If ya don't clean yer room for a selfie then the chances are that ya don't clean yer minge for a date either. Doesn't put Old Knudsen off, it adds character.

8

It's just not dignified when weemen beg ya for sex, maybe you'll get some enjoyment out of these pictures for it ruins the mood for Old Knudsen.

 9

Not just from weemen, this lad wanted me to join him in a budgie smuggling caper.

 10

How dare people like this send me pics just to give me issues about my body. I'll be back right after I do 100 sit ups. 

11

When yer my age yer waist is larger than yer chest measurement, that shows that yer a man and not a boy.

12

No wonder you look so skinny, you must have needed that.

13

 

I'll leave you with this married lass looking for a bit of rough .... don't know why she choose me.

Killer Nurses From Planet Pube

 

94% of people who die, die in a hospital ... coincidence? I think not. 99% of those have sought medical help from doctors and nurses at sometime in their lives. 

Serial killers do not just confine their daytime careers to being a truck drivers, school crossing guards or I.T. specialists, they can be anywhere. The person cutting yer hair or the person reading yer electrical meter.

Ya know who are creepy as fuck and are always watching you? Nurses, thats who. They aren't checking up on you for the good of yer health, they are deciding whether or not you should die. You go to hospital and do you get any rest to get better? Nope cos if they are up at fuck off o'clock in the morning then you are going to be too, sadistic bastards.

Arnfinn Nesset a registered nurse killed 22 people by injecting them with Suxamethonium chloride in a care home in Norway in the 80's. He was sentenced to 21 years but due to good behaviour he was released after 12 with 10 years supervision. So in 12 years because he didn't murder any old people they said, 'yep hes changed all right, lets set him free.'
Nesset lives under a fake name and thank fuck for that, I mean Arnfinn?  no wonder he became a serial killer, it is thought he could have killed up to 138 people but they were old and going to die anyway so who cares?

While we are in Norway, Anders Behring Breivik, the cunt who killed 77 people in bomb and gun attacks in 2011 is complaining that his human rights are being breached because he doesn't have a computer to contact his fans and only has an obsolete ye olde fashioned  PS2.  He was destined to be a mass murderer as he who works in computer programming and his mother was a nurse ... he didn't stand a chance.
Only people who work in I. T. are more mentally unstable than those in the nursing profession.

A stone cold killa

Charles Edward Cullen had told authorities that he had killed 40 people during his 16 year career as a nurse, that figure is said to be more like 400 making his America's most prolific serial killer but we don't want bragging rights, we want names and bodies. Who the fuck has heard of Cullen? he sure ain't no Bundy. 
He suffered from depression for years and had made several attempts at suicide but continued to work from hospital to hospital without any trouble because having a good beside manner isn't necessary, especially during a national shortage of nurses. He was arrested for attempted murder in 2003 and made his confession to killing 40.
 

Stephan Letter ..... a German, had 80 people from the ages of 40 - 94 die on his shifts, and that was only in one year. (2003 - 2004) He gave them a cocktail of drugs which like Nesset included muscle relaxants.  One thing you can say about the Germans, they are fucking efficient when it cums to killing people, marvelous work.
Letter was only charged for 29 people, 38 had been cremated, as for the other 13 ... unlucky for some.

 What a looker.

Orville Lynn Majors From Indiana, was thought to have killed 138 people but was only done for 6. It's bad that when you leave a job the mortality rate goes back to normal amounts. Hes serving away his 360 years in the Indiana state prison and was voted 'rear of the year' for 2002 by his showering buddies.

Her real picture was way too scary.

Marianne Nölle ..... a German, killed during 1984 - 1992 at least 17 and attempted about 18 others. She was convicted of only 6 murders.

The Lainz Angels of Death were exactly like an Austrian Charlie's angels except they murdered old feeble patients and were not even remotely hot. The four of them are thought to have killed over 200 starting in 1983 though were only charged with 48.  All four alleged weemen have since been released from prison for good behaviour not having killed anyone while locked up.

Dirty dick and chronic liar Kristen Gilbert worked for a VA (Veteran's Affairs) hospital and while having an affair with a VA investigator and walking out on her husband and 2 kids she killed 4 vets with the drug epinephrine . The last two vets she killed were a Korean and WWII vet. How crap can you get? you survive war only to be killed by some stupid bint who is meant to look after you.

Richard Angelo drugged 25 people with 10 of them dying during the 80's in New York. He said he had drugged them so he could rush in and save them to look like a hero .... what a loser.

If one more nurse gets called The angel of death I'll scream .... Angelo indeed.   

Joseph Dewey Akin was convicted in Alabama in 1991 of one murder but is suspected of killing anywhere from 17 - 100 during his career at several facilities.

Robert Diaz worked in hospitals in LA in the 80's when he was drugging patients with Lidocaine. He was convicted of killing 12 people though that is thought to have been more like 38. The poor man missed out on the fun of the death penalty by dying of natural causes in 2010.
 

Benjamin Geen was also a sad fucker who wanted to be a hero like Richard Angelo. He worked in a hospital in Oxfordshire. In the space of 2 months 17 patients when into respiratory arrest, Geen saved 15 with 2 dying.  He was found with a syringe filled with a lethal dose of muscle relaxant in his pocket. DOH!

Efren Saldivar a respiratory therapist worked the graveyard shift when less people were around. It's thought that he ha killed anywhere from 6 - 50+ with he, himself claiming it was more like  200 ... they always do.

 

Genene Anne Jones  worked in San Antonio, Texas when colleagues started to notice a high mortality rate with those she had worked with. She was convicted of one murder and suspected of at least 46 others, all children.  Jones will be released in 2017 having served 33 years, if anyone can link her to just one of the child deaths she could go back in for life.

 She looks like a leezer prince William.

Beverly Gail Allitt an English nurse who in 1991 was charged with killing four children and attempting to kill or harm 11 more.  She suffered from Münchausen syndrome which means she is a lying fucker that needs to be put doon. She may be released by 2022 when she'll be 54 years old so, keep an eye out.
It's one thing being mentally ill but she was sane enough to attack those who were less able to tell or to fight back.  

Colin Norris hated old people and often refused to clean them or change their bedding. He told a colleague that whenever he did night shifts, someone always died, he claimed that around 5:15am was when things went wrong and lo and behold at 5am an elderly patient (his last victim) slipped into a coma. 

Sounds like he was making sure that things when bad on his nightshifts so he wouldn't be made to do them, like a spoiled brat that breaks something so they won't be told to do it again. From Glasgow, says it all.

So next time you are in hospital, be nice to the staff or you may get a little more than expected. Don't worry, I'm sure not all nurses are serial killers ....  keep an eye on them just in case as they all spit in yer drinking water.

Manipulation From Above

Old Knudsen used to think ..... As explained by a pilot.  Contrails (also called Chemtrails) are formed when humid jet exhaust condenses into ice crystals in the cold, dry, upper-level air ­ it’s not unlike the fog that results when you exhale on a cold day. Contrails are clouds, you could say. Water vapor, strange as it might sound, is a byproduct of the combustion within jet engines, which is where the humidity comes from.

Whether a contrail forms is contingent on altitude and the ambient atmospheric makeup - mainly temperature and something known as vapour pressure.

To put it into conspiracy theory nut speak, you have warm things flying in the cold sky and particularly during times of humidity they make create more fluffy things than usual that hang in the air until blown away.
Just like during cold weather,  flu germs linger in the air and on door handles for longer. Did you think that cold weather gave you flu? wise the fuck up. 

Then you add the idiot human factor. People who live in dry climates, who never look up to notice the flight path they live under then suddenly when the seasons or the weather changes they notice contrails, 'huh, I ain't never seen those befur, must be the government' .... much like people who don't get much snow and who try to burn it and are surprised when there is less water than they thought there would be, much like a helicopter landing in a jungle amongst a tribe who have never seen one before or yon Africans who moved to Europe and had never seen stairs in houses before.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN EVERYTHING AND DON'T KNOW SHIT!

Unfortunately they can set up Facebook accounts and even .................... blogs. 

Here is where Old Knudsen feels a touch of embarrassment.

Just to prove all the red flag crisis actor spotters wrong Old Knudsen flew up into the contrails for some science like investigation.

They were right! A chemical has been sprayed into the air (probably by alien overlords) to promote human breeding.
You probably know of this program but just didn't realise how insidious it was. Aliens are in control of teenagers and excrete a hormone so overwhelming that breeding is the only option.

Just like other alien run schemes like the Catholic church and the GOP and the fucking DUP they want lots of tasty babies to be born for an all you can eat interstellar slave race buffet.

Or for those who do not speak English.

We are higher beings, not some kind of animal that only thinks about sex and defecating.

Even those who do not buy these awful smelling spray on hormones we are affected by the black oops planes spraying our air.
Old Knudsen himself cannot look at the above picture without thinking about hot lunches and monkey lovin.

Even the birds of the air can't help at being so horny that they dive in front of cars and get splatted cos they have one thing on their mind, fucking and pooping on yer head.  Why are there so many mosquitoes?  .... it's the chemicals in the air you fools.

Kill teenagers and stop breathing are the only options, teens can tell when their evil chemicals are not working on people, hence the knockout game so watch yerself.  The NSA Newborn Sucking Aliens are already monitoring us and drooling over yer Facebook baby pictures .... which I'd advise you to stop posting.



           

Yes I Am Complex

This post was inspired by Witchypoo who insists on posting pictures of herself on the crapper.
I have certain bathroom issues. While there is nothing wrong with a golden shower or a hot lunch on yer chest I draw the line at watching people sit on the bog to do their toilet big jobs.

I've shagged a gurl who had IBS, while she was on top she let go with the chocolate factory which is fine but to watch someone sit on a toilet and squeeze one out is just sick, couples who share the bathroom at the same time disgust me, there is a lock on toilet doors for a reason.

There is a time and a place for mega dumps like during sex or in a private bathroom so people show some decorum and for you Irish out there decorum doesn't mean spreading shit on the walls of yer prison cell.

Latest OBB News Up-Dates