What Are You Afraid Of?

Randy ‘Duke’ Cunningham loved his bribes. 

The US is a land in a constant state of fear. It's kept like this by the media who in turn answer to the uber rich people that own the outlets who also own many politicians.  If the US wasn't so afraid of something it wouldn't be in a perpetual state of war. Tell yourself yer the home of the brave but seriously people without a gun yer just a lost child with a leg covered in pee. 

Follow the money to see who benefits from the fear and you'll see shares owned by the same group of people and their friends. Food, weapons, healthcare, entertainment,banks and governments all owned by the same circle of people with various cronies dipping in for a share.  

Did Budd Dwyer take a bribe? He made sure his wife got his pension and avoided going to prison by blowing his brains out on TV. 

From surveys, the number number one US fear is corrupt government officials. 58% of Americans polled fear this. Is this why a non politician like Trump has done so well? Politics seems to be a very good money maker that people who have no skills or abilities can make a profitable career out of it. 

Being a doctor or a lawyer used to be thought of as a good career choice but even the doctors and lawyers think that politics is a better move.  

  Gearing up to kill some infidels at the weekend lol!

Cyber-terrorism at 44.8% is the next biggest fear. Causing disruption for social, ideological, religious, political or objectives. Hey as long as the North Koreans don't know my Pornhub passwerd then I don't care. 

I think the likes of Microsoft and Apple fuck us about enough without cyber terrorists getting involved too. 

That leads to the next fear of corporate tracking of personal information. We constantly give out our details, permissions to access our devices and location voluntarily but we worry that someone is actually tracking us. Of course they are you idiot. Then they'll spam you with ads to make yer experience more personal as they say. 

If yer so worried about corporate tracking then go off line. 

Support vets ... except for some.  

Terrorist attacks at 44.4%. The US doesn't have many terrorist attacks because they redefine their attacks into categories and terrorists become mentally disturbed white dudes. White people can't be terrorists, hey even the IRA are freedom fighters and the UVF are paramilitaries. Nope, no terrorist here, that's what brown people do.
 
What the US does overseas should get the US to have more attacks. The empire building, overthrowing regimes and collateral damage war crimes I think the US has gotten off pretty lightly so far. 

With reds under the beds type paranoia the average Fox news watching American will never meet or even see a refugee but knows for sure that they are all sleeper cell terrorists out to kill white free Americans. They hate us because they anus. 

No they hate you because you invade and meddle in their politics with very little grasp of what it is yer doing. 

       

41.4% fear government tracking of personal information. Yet when Edward Snowden pointed out that Obama was spying on millions of Americans they just watched Obama's latest buzzfeed video and said how classy he is. 

There is a lack of outrage with what Snowden uncovered. Most of the outrage comes from government spin branding him a traitor that allegedly put Americans in danger. 
That doesn't sit well with Old Knudsen, where is yer fucken moral compass? Obama is a bad one but not for the reasons the Tea baggers throw out all the time. 

Bush was a peace loving hippy compared to Obama. Can I not say that or is that racist?

Bio warfare and identity theft are also fears. How many Americans get attacked by bio weapons? What the fuck people? 

Maybe you wouldn't be worried about identity theft if you had some kind of filter on yer mouth that tells everyone yer details. Also unlocked mail boxes at the end of yer street. Why do you make it soo easy?

Economic collapse at 39.2% .... Thanks to Bush who fucked up Clinton's economy you've been in fear for well over a decade. Some day you'll run out of Middle Eastern cuntries to invade and unless you move onto Russia or China then yer economy should get better once you stop destroying and focus on building with all that money saved from the massive US defense budget. 

Ha ha, got him .... and 30 bystanders but they were probably terrorists too, right?

It should be a fear that warfare is becoming less and less about boots on the ground and more about technology. You honor the vets and the troops and keep people in fear in order for them to keep joining up as fodder for the war machine. 

Old Knudsen hates draft dodgers but just the rich ones that pay their way out of it. The poor pleb that flees to Canada is fine. The draft is wrong and the wars they used it for were wrong. I support the troops as it is a hard job but if you signed up for it then suck it up. Lots of plebs didn't have a choice. 
The wars in the Middle East are like home invasions, yer not going to support someone that breaks into yer house with a gun.  

So cute, I'll call you Veal.

Being in the military and being at war is like eating meat, you don't put too much thought into it, you just do it.

When the rich only need a few thousand troops to fly the drones and to train moderate fanatic rebels then what are they going to do with all those surplus people? .... Zika virus or Ebola may be. 

Warfare will be like waking up to check Twitter or Facebook, click BOMB, click BOMB, click SEND IN SEAL TEAM, click LIKE on the cat pic, click BOMB. 

Only 37.4% worry about running out of money and 36.9% worry about credit card fraud. Why worry about the bills, food on the table etc when you have Bio warfare to be concerned about?.... or terrorists in yer Cheerios.

Quick look! someone is disrespecting vets who died 70 - 100 years ago and aren't even at the fucken game.... yeah ignore the issue and get insulted for something else.  You know who doesn't care if you stand for the national anthem? .... dead people.
 

What about guns? What percent worry about their Constitutional right to be able to shoot school children? Sex tape? .... better look at it so I can be outraged. 

This pizza looks yuge in my tiny hands.

What about the fear of Trump actually winning the election? This survey was taken in 2015 so maybe people didn't really think he'd get as far as he did or maybe they really are that dumb and distracted. Uh lead and rocket fuel in the water, uh better buy bottled water as well as pay for the contaminated water uh .... I don't think too gud. 

These fears are mostly just that, fears . Sure some lower politicians get minimum jail time but the higher up ones continue on being corrupt. Presidents can lie and spy but will only lose their job, not their pensions. Bill Clinton has received $15,938,000 in Federal money since 2001, nice huh. 

Did fear of getting cancer from pollution or yer kid's future not make it into the top 10?    

Now Americans are afraid of people dressing up as clowns. But someone who is a friend of this guy I know read online that they are trying to lure children into the woods. 

He also said he saw a van and that people were stealing pet dogs .... aye that one never gets old. 

Watch out for Slender man he also lures children away. Fuck worrying about clowns, like any kid would go near a creepy clown. Worry about nice friendly nondescript blokes that have allegedly lost their puppy and truck drivers.    

For those in the UK their top fears were sobering up, running out of fags and having to go to the dentist ... Ka-Chow! 

It seems to Old Knudsen people are worried about the wrong shit and not about the right stuff. Maybe the rich people making money of our misery have the right idea cos going from that list we deserve their scorn and manipulation. 


 

Carrickfergus Clown Pussy

When you think of the wee seaside town of Carrickfergus it's probably along the lines of 'shit! I have to go through Carrick, I hope I don't break doon'  ::::::banjos play in the distance:::::::

Isn't odd that right wing Protestants and Catholics come together against abortion and for incest? well I think it's odd. 

Carrickfergus fact file: Due to the air pollution from the nearby power station, the average IQ of a Carrickfergus adult is just below that of a retarded spaniel.

The place is full of child diddling, drug selling, window breaking, dog eating clowns.

The town has recently make it into the news because ...... well someone dressed up as an actual clown. It wasn't even an orginal idea, some bloke did it round Northampton  a few weeks back.

Calling himself Carrick killer clown with his sidekick Gimp boy they go round to houses of people they know and take a blurry photo in front of it and maybe tape a red balloon to the door.

Hilarious stuff, I can't stop laughing ...... no thats not right, I can't start laughing. Like I said, simple folk who are easily amused.

Since it's not funny and going by the hooses visited they have to be Loyalists ... is there anyone else in Carrick for fucks sake?

Carrickfergus fact file: 8 tourists a year die of boredom in Carrickfergus ..... Carrick only gets 8 tourists a year.   

Gimp boy acts like a paramilitary, waving a gun about and posing while wearing a balaclava ..... by the pink knickers it must be UDA or UDghey if you go by their past.

As the marching season winds doon and the flag protests fizzle out, the no chinned gurls and boys of Carrick have to have something else to do.... so another group called the Carrick clown killers has appeared though no dead clowns have been found in the Carrickfergus area so far.
Did I not say UDA? well yon mural is Ulster Defence Union (UDU) which is allegedly the retired members of the UDA.

If the shit fits, wear it.

The flag protests has had it's fair share of clowns.

Out to protect their culture of small cars, flowers that squirt water and falling over ..... usually due to the drink or the water canon.  They took the joke that was the flags protests and they repeated it and now they are the joke.

Carrickfergus the home of the upside doon flag has not just led the world with inbred clowns but has also dabbled in mime. Yon drunken fella who was arrested when he mimed firing a machine at the police was just class ..... Only in Carrick.

 

Would You Like Lube With That ?

So anyway start of a post dripping with sex appeal and whatever else.
I when into the local Scottish place for some food the other day. I can't say the name of it because like the play with the prince of Denmark , you know the one that Mel Gibson made a film of in which he went mad and killed some Jews for starting all the wars or something like that. So anyway its bad luck to say the name and also The Scottish place might sue me.

There were the usual suspects, some bint was in the corner writing a book about boy wizards who think its magic to use their wands, the big boned ladies above and their rubber like children below throwing food and yelling a lot, yer deluded people that cum in for salads not realising that even the salads are deep fried and sprayed with a layer of tasty trans-fats.

I waited in line which I hate cos I didn't fight the Russians at Stalingrad to end up standing in line like the fuckers, those Russians queue for everything, bread, vodka, interrogation everything.

When it was my turn the worker who never smiled once and just grunted passed me a note saying, "please help me, get me out of here" never mind that crap I threatened the cunt straight out, "my fries had better be hot and fresh just like me and my order had better be right or I'm gonna shove my large fry up yer apple pie ala mode." I had no idea what I was saying the 10 or so painkillers were starting to kick in and I was feeling good but angry.

What does Old Knudsen eat at the Scottish place you may ask? no? well I'll tell ya, a quarter pounder value meal with no cheese and extra pickle and BBQ sass with me chips er sorry fries. I always go back up to the counter and say I never got my BBQ sass for my nuggets so I don't have to pay for them.

Old Knudsen has no fear, however I am a scared of Lemurs, bush babies, feminists, dickheads with authority, those fish called betas, getting caught by the fuzzies and clowns. How was I to know Ronald fucking McDonald was going to be there? do I read the big signs posted outside?

He came in and posed with the workers, oh look I just splashed you in the face with hot grease how funny. He posed with some of the customers for pictures and I was getting more worried because he was getting closer to me.

Being a man of action I took my tray to the toilets and ate in one of the stalls shaking from the sight of his clownness. I was able to eat and shit at the same time it was just like sitting on my commode at home .

I finished my food and left the tray in there as its their job to clean up not mine. I exited the stall only to see Ronald standing at the sinks waiting for me, at that moment I realised that not all of my shit had cum out.
I stood there frozen like a homeless person in the headlights with head lice and he spoke, "They all float doon here."

I didn't know what he meant but as I wasn't going to wash my hands anyway so I walked out.

I felt a tightness in my chest, my left arm was tingling and I had the taste of copper (and pickles) in my mouth.

I called out to the staff, "is there a doctor in the restaurant?" 5 of them raised their hands and 3 teenagers said huh? it turns out they weren't medical doctors just PHDs so I got into it about what total pretentious pricks they were calling themselves doctors and how I was two hamburgers short in my order but had lost the receipt and I'll be on my way as soon as I get them (with extra pickle of course) I had a belch and a lumpy fart and no longer felt unwell and got my burgers and went before creepy the clown showed up again. I was definitely not loving it.

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