Reinstate Jeremy Clarkson

If you do a job for one day and there is no hot meals provided just cold food like sandwiches it is obviously within yer right to take a swing at one of the lower managers. Violence in the workplace is justified at times like this as is racism and sexism.

Thank fuck people stand up for those poor millionaires like Jeremy Clarkson, forced to work on state television because if no one started a petition to save his job then he'd just fall through the cracks and become another victim of society.

Was there not a make up lady or something? Surely there had to be some weemen on set. If they want to be paid the same as men then they should take the initiative and get the crock pot out and stop thinking about having babies all the time.
Maybe he should have tried to punch one of them, the assistant producer he did try to assault was a male and about a foot smaller than Clarkson, lighter build and not as important as Clarkson so he was a prime target to be bullied by a millionaire TV star having a tantrum.

Stand up for the rights of the millionaire victims of harsh working conditions, how can anyone be expected to make a television show in that hostile work environment. Clarkson would no doubt stand up for you, he's famous for standing up for the little people .... or is that Russell Brand?     

  
  

Tom Daley Swims Both Ways

Old Knudsen is happy to report that his gheydar is working perfectly. British diver Tom Daley has gone off the muff diving for a while and has taken up gardening .... up hill gardening.

Gheydar is difficult in the UK as so many males act, speak and dress like flaming homos but claim to not be. Ghey or just English? that is the question. 

Tom Daley seems to be a nice 19 year-old lad and is loved by the population. When he won a bronze medal at the Olympics you would have thought it was a gold the way people were going on about it.
Though some troll did say on Twitter that his dad would be so disappointed in him at only getting a bronze.
His dad died in 2011 of a brain tumour at the age of 40, not an easy thing for a young man to deal with. I'd reckon his dad would be very proud of how hes turned out.

Tom recently admitted on YouTube that hes been dating a man. He says,  "Of course I still fancy girls, but at the moment I've never been happier."

Old Knudsen is quite happy too, always happy to guide a young, firm muscular lad through life .... of course I still fancy gurls er weemen and anything else with a heartbeat as it's totally ghey and quite rude to turn doon sex.

It's hard to find happiness in this world of anger and stupidity but if you find it and it isn't doing anyone any harm you gotta hold onto it by the hips and never let go until yer done. If someone has a problem with that, they can go fuck themselves with a rusty hacksaw.

This Post May Contain Violence And Nuts

An Asda superstore in North West London  had a midnight launch of Grand Theft Auto 5. After buying his copy a 23 year-old man was hit on the head with a brick and stabbed, his video game taken.
While this is very sad yet ever so ironic it could have been worse.

He could have bought Saints Row and gotten beat up by a big rubber penis named the penetrator .

Police have yet to make a statement on whether real life violence which has been going on for centuries causes violence in video games.

The DUP have said that this is the fault of Irish dissidents and that they need more EU funding to fight them and Fox News have claimed that Obama is to blame.

Roses Are Red, Violence Is Blue

I'm gonna hack you to pieces, yer little dog too. 

Everybody Hurts

Five hundred and 43 specially trained police officers from mainland Britain will be brought into Northern Ireland to support the local PSNI officers.

Just like for the G8 the PSNI didn't need the fish out of water English peelers for crowd control, they needed them for moral support and the odd emergency hug.

Norn Iron is full of morons who for some reason think they are very important because they have never set foot outside of their own culture and people ..... like what the world thinks Americans should be like.

Rude, pushy, jumps line, demands things now!!!! sound familiar? if yer gonna keep saying yer British then fucking well act like it. 

The PSNI officers have to police these people and the strain does get to them, "why do they give me a gun and then say I can't shoot them?" asked one officer who shall remain nameless.

The 543 officers of the cracked hug and shoulder pat unit will be working with the local police so the fleggers and other expected trouble makers do not take the wind from their beautiful sails.


Yes you are a pig .... yer 'Babe' and if you do smell like bacon then good cos who doesn't like the smell of bacon? 

Slag Them All Off And Let God Sort Out His Own

Now Old Knudsen has nothing against gheys, live and let live no matter how disgusting and immoral you are thats what Old Knudsen says. If its a life-style choice then you'll burn in Hell but if you just happened to be shipwrecked on an island for 3 years with 4 good looking young firm men then its any port in a storm and God will understand.

No really, people that say, "I wouldn't eat bugs no matter what" just haven't been hungry enough and besides I did say they were good looking firm young men. Not that anything happened. Ok the island was Guernsey off the coast of France but details just get in the way sometimes.


Um look a hot woman. I would totally do a lying week on her, oh yeah she'd be begging fer more like they all do. Of course I wouldn't let her beg too long as I enjoy sex with females, now pushing a woman's poo doesn't give you ghey or Catholic inclinations I'd just like to clear that up.



What is wrong with America that they have to create these disgusting articles of head wear? I take head wear seriously thats why I mositurise me knob so you might get the odd taste of Dove if you suck me off, no not the soap I mean pigeons. Wrap some duct tape around the wee fuckers so they don't split on you and fuck them.

Some people hire those hawk trainer people to fly their hawk around to scare off pigeons as they can be a real nusiance like at airports or car parks or airport car parks, you get the idea. To really scare them off I'd be hired to hang around for an hour with a roll of tape and the wee bastards would fly off, word gets around I suppose.


Look a hot Asian chick pinching her nipples, see? I'm straight as they cum unless shes a gurly boy of course now thats the best of both worlds . Ever been to bangkok? Kok has been banged so many times his farts are silent.


I got this picture from someone who might or might not read this blog but I haven't been racist in this post and I felt like I needed to be in case all of my readers of colour felt left out. Remember during the whole Katrina ethnic cleansing hurricane thingy? well the darkies turned up their noses at the food that was dropped as who the fuck wants rice and water? So Donald Do-gooder did an air-lift of fried chicken and malt liquor and all hell broke loose. This was the last we saw of Donald as we believed he was cannibalised by Johnny black fella.


So, have you been watching the Olympics? nah me neither who gives a fuck?


What organization has killed millions of people and tortured thousands more? thought they were better than everyone else and so could dictate the law? Has put weemen in their place and killed them if they didn't comply? has complete morons as followers and likes to fondle children?

Answer at the bottom of the post.


Trust the Japs to make Anime pedo dolls. If it were up to me I would have used 5 nukes on them, fucking Yanks soft as shite.


"The Iranians abused me and made me cry by flicking the back of my neck." Horatio Nelson one of Britain's greatest navel heroes would be spinning in his grave at the sight of the modern day navy and military in general.
The Russians kick fuck out of their soldiers for fun and the Brits did right up until the 80's. Now its I-Pods and getting yer arse handed to you on a dirty plate by sandsavages. The west is getting it's pan knocked in. The west has nukes for fucks sake might as well use them cos the miltary is useless.
Oh no waterboarding is torture, well what the fuck do you think they would do to you? they would get an eleven year-old to hack off yer head with a pen-knife in the name of Allah.



Answer:
PETA, brutal cunts they are, crazy as fuck.

Latest OBB News Up-Dates

Say NO! To Ghey Marriage

There is an expression: "Its often a man's mouth that breaks his nose" well it was falling off a skateboard that broke my nose, ever since then if my nose takes a hit it bleeds. I don't mind a bit of my own blood but it tends to freak others out. That was when the skateboarding craze hit for the first time in Killamory then there were yo-yo's that that renamed 'Spinners' both fads died and kept coming back just like Smallpox.

Anyway since Arnold Schwarzenegger could become governor of Callyfornia and since he is a Nazi cyborg from the future and not even American then I have a shot at it. I may have a checkered past like the time I shot, JFK, MLK, EMF and MILF but bygones be bygones etc and the sexual harassment cases are pure lies. I did used to be a crackhead and a drug dealer who has been caught with many prostitutes but in politics that is good .

Later on this year Callyfornia is going to review ghey marriage. I have decided to stand against it.

This is wrong and disgusting and no one wants to see this or even think about it.

Yuck yuck yuck!


If my day the word 'ghey' meant happy and you know why? because they were free to have sex with whoever they wanted and had disposable income to spend as they pleased.

Let them remain ghey, in the bible it says only the pure of heart shall know the misery known as marriage, lets keep it to ourselves and they can fuck off and stay happy and ghey.


As for same sex, let them wake up night after a night of exciting sex with different people and never let them know the joy to have sex with the same person for years and years running out of adventurous ideas and watching as they get fat and old.

Partnerships in prison is fine as on long sea voyages but queerdom is just disgusting. When I watch porn I want to see a naked man with a huge erection glistening with sweat penetrating a woman and I want to see his climax face, none of that queer bum banditry or gurl on girl stuff thats just wrong and any type of orgy or three-way is ghey too.

Take away same sex marriage, then take away weemen's votes. It all went wrong with birth control and child support payments. America is like the Roman empire on speed, if it is to last another 100 years then you need me I'll sort it out. The blacks will be sent home to Africa free of charge where they will be happy, no more abortion. The unwanted children will be put into camps and turned into soldiers, health care will be available to all except the fat, old or very sick, all the dangerous criminals will be given box cutters and left to roam free in the middle east. America will be the land of the free once again as soon as I raise taxes.


God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve, er actually he did create them too so I'm at a loss therefore what I don't understand must be killed, Arabs I don't understand them either or Welshmen, kill them all and let God sort out the mess.

Look what fun the bloke is having, doesn't this seem so pure and holy as if God himself wanted it? I'm sure the woman is enjoying it too but as long as the man cums then thats God's will.



So wrong and demonic, I refuse to look at her shapely arse.


Then again what business has the fucking government got telling people who they can or cannot marry? This politicking is very difficult.



Latest OBB News Up-Dates

Ha Ha Ha Ha Staying Alive Staying Alive In The Ghetto

Listen to me and you might just make it through this post alive.

I've been in some pretty dodgy survival situations in my time, from plane crashes to shipwrecks and one time being lost from my mummy in a supermarket.

I do what I have to do to survive and I have no apologies to make to the families of those I have eaten in order to stay alive, you don't know you weren't there.

When my blood sugar gets low I get grouchy and easily annoyed and then some big fat juicy American says, "you were in special farces you need to go find us some food" that's when I say "look immigrants climbing over the wall" and when he looks I smash his head in, food is all around you if you know where to look.

There is even a McDonald's in the Amazon jungle.

I still have nightmares about the supermarket, I was alone fending for myself living off dry cereal and stealing from the sample tables . I ran wild for what must of been an hour. When my mummy found me I had forgotten how to speak English and I was dehydrated and disorientated, yes I had also found the alcohol section, that was three years ago almost to this day.

Now I have to survive the hood of Crotcharea in Southern Callyfornia one of the most inhospitable places to be if yer white.

The heat of the sun can make her balls drip like a leaky tap (faucet to the Yanks) but whatever you do don't drink that water as I have a weeping sore just under me lad.

Water is yer first concern for survival. Due to the American economy being as weak as its military many people let their lawns die but if you go to a nice street you may just catch a sprinkler that's flooding the gutter or if you look for a hoose that's been painted red by tacky Mexicans you may find a fountain like this.

Warning, the water in Callyfornia is almost undrinkable as in most third world cuntries, there is so much rocket fuel and other chemicals its like gritty poisonous moonshine.

Hydration now and gut rot later, if you have a condom you can fill it up to hold water, I don't carry them as I don't like the reduced feeling and sensitivity when I drink from them.

Another sign of where to find water is to look where the birds and wild postal workers go during dusk and at dawn or you can find a corner on a busy road and there will probably be a Quickie Mart run by a Pakkie from India (that's where they cum from right?)

Be careful cos during times of deliveries you may get caught up in an attack either on the delivery truck or the shop by a troop of baboons. Last year in America alone there were 8,000 TVs stolen by baboons and numerous other crimes but because of Slavery a couple of hundred years ago they are the true victims of crime, really quite sad when you think about it.
Lets make them all happy and send them back , Zimbabwe looks nice this time of year and Mugabe likes to blame whitey too.

Remember folks you can go 3 weeks without food and just 3 days without water, for Americans convert weeks to hours and days to minutes.

The next thing to do is find shelter from the heat, a new sports bar has just opened doon the road don't try McDonald's as those cheap fuckers never run the air.

Food, what is there to eat in the hood? well there is plenty of pussy but be wary as there is a lot of unhealthy pussies in America. I've seen blokes walking about holding onto their cock incase it drops off also they lose weight and waste away through diseased pussy as their clothes look three sizes too big for them. Dogs are plentiful too just follow yer nose and yer bound to find some roadkill.



The flag of Callyfornia has a bear on it, bears are a common threat here so be careful.

Which brings me to another danger in the hood, mobile phones otherwise known as a cell phone, just last year 3000 people were killed by cell phones, weemen driving mini vans while talking on their phones.

America has the worse drivers ever and it isn't illegal to kill pedestrians here, today I saw 3 cars run a red light, the fourth car was an SUV driven by a woman, she stopped half-way in the road and rather than turn right to get out of the way she sat in the middle blocking traffic because she wanted to go straight, the police shook their heads but IHOP was running a special so they didn't hang about, after they gave me a citation for jay-walking they were off, free cuntry my arse you can't even cross the road, anyway cars don't stop at zebra crossings here to let you cross so you might as well cross where you like.

One time in Killamory I was just about to cross at a zebra crossing, I was just off the night shift at the Titty twister social club and was tired. I stood there at the crossing waiting for a car to pass but he was waiting for me to walk across as cars give way to pedestrians, he stuck his head out the window and shouted, "is yer head up yer hole?" I did not have a witty cum back, that is a true story my friends.

This is obviously a gang of Mexican gang bangers.

Other dangers in the hood is getting caught in gang cross fire also getting caught by gang bangers, I suppose they then gang bang you to death as gangs are just so homo erotic something I don't want to find out about but only the police and criminals are allowed to carry guns or else they couldn't do their jobs.

Watch out for pan-handlers some will ask for spare change but due to inflation many will just ask for a dollar, they will call you and run after you to ask you for money.

Many pan-handlers are on the crack or the meths and can be quite crazy with the strength of 10 so its better to out crazy them, do yer crazy eyes and talk about how the next president will either be a woman or a half-cast now that is crazy talk, when they are confused stab them repeatedly in the neck with a pointed stick. Oh and carry a small pointed stick.


Twat or pussy thats yer choice, Cunty McCain will win.

If you ever find lost yerself in the ghetto always head towards greenery, to places where people water and tend their lawns. Beige is the normal colour of Southern Callyfornia and where their is greenery there is watering and there are well off people and you aren't in the ghetto no longer.


Ants? I've seen 'Bugs life' I ain't ascared of ants.

I hope this has been of some help to you, while researching this post I learned from my mistakes. I got gang banged and ate some really minging pussy I did find out that roadkill tastes a lot better than Mexican food and like in rock, paper, scissors a 9 mil gat beats a pointed stick.

Stay safe on those streets people.





Latest OBB News Up-Dates

8 Out Of 10 Men Have Tasted Their Own Jizz

I've always thought that dogs and cats were lucky jammy bastards, they sit around and lick their parts all day.

Old Knudsen has a confession to make, sometimes I can go a whole week without having sex with another living being (vegetables are alive) but my Pastor Bobby L Rapture says to be closer to Gog you should not got around with one in the chamber.

A wank and a jar of liver can becum boring after a time and I'm really sick of having liver for me tea 5 nights a week. I have suckceeded in achieving one of my life long dreams.

Men, if you want to suck yer own willy its best to be in shape, I touch my toes everyday, no really I still have the leg I lost to the Great white panda and like to touch the toes.

I watch what I eat, drink and smoke and I do my own stunts.

Its best if you have a really big dick so I found I didn't have to work too hard at giving myself some oral fixation. For beginners you should lie on yer back and pull yer legs forward.

So mum whats for dinner? will dad be there? what are you wearing?

Is sucking yer own cock ghey? is having sex with yer own clone ghey? Is watching straight porn ghey cos yer watching some naked bloke shag a woman?

I think it very well might be just like having a boy boy gurl 3-some but then so is a gurl gurl boy 3-some because weemen can be ghey too so if you like to watch leezers flick beans then yer ghey, for fuck sake 99.9% of the world is ghey, the gheys are right after all when they insist everyone is ghey.

Ghey used to mean happy but no one is happy anymore because of the media generated hate and fear, back in the day before idiot boxes and radios we all lived in ignorance and that was bliss, we didn't worry about what the wogs were doing, genocide wasn't even a word then, no pedos or serial killers to worry about the world was a safer place back then because no one knew.

When I left the Shire to tour with Gandalf and the Wizards the world became a smaller place and now I worry about alsorts of things I am too ill informed, we all are.

One week a cigarette cures yer chesty cough and the next it causes it make up yer minds. Having too clean a hoose leaves you vulnerable to germs and illness, huh?

I have one question before I leave you to go search for animal porn which is not ghey.

Did Princess Leia have sex with Jabba the Hut during her enslavement?

Latest OBB News Up-Dates

Violence Today Is Just So .............

"Hey Randy do ya see yer watch yet?"

Remember back in the day when you'd shot someone and they would have the courtesy to fall doon dead with yer one shot? or if you punched someone on the jaw or hit them on the back of the head they would automatically fall unconscious until you had done what you wanted to do? these days people just have no respect, who the fuck has even read Chow Mien's 'Art of war?' Now'a'days you have to bludgeon someone repeatedly with a heavy object, blow them up and their surroundings or shoot 40 rounds in slow motion into them and even then they may reach out in their final death throes and try to grab you when you are least expecting it .

Ka-Chow!

In my day Karate chops were all the rage, you'd sneak up behind someone and 'twat!' with a light wrist motion onto their neck they would fold like a card table. A very handy martial art for one who doesn't really like to touch other people, when I shake someone's hand I get split second thoughts of where that hand has been, I don't do handshakes much. Over the years people became resistant to Karate chops and while commandoes would use a knife in the kidneys or neck to silence a sentry the less bloodthirsty gentleman took to using poisoned darts from small blow pipes or a rag with chloroform, you really don't want to explain why yer Harris tweed jacket is covered in blood.

I wouldn't like to met any of these guys in a dark alley or back passage.

When I started out in the services if you were fighting in unarmed combat it was only polite to hold yer arm out until yer opponent got a good enough grip and if they were throwing you a little spring from yer toes would be the decent thing to do, on more recent combat courses I've taken its all grappling and getting sweaty, I want to kill or knock the enemy out not feel the need to get a STD test due to a heavy exchange of body fluids during a fight.

"Stop tapping me I'm not letting you up until you take it good bitch."

The Ultimate fighting lark looks like a mix between domestic violence and angry sex, I think the audience should be allowed to have a go in the cage or ring so they can experience it better. I'm amazed when I hear grown adults (men) say how they have never been in a fight in their life, they made sure they had their first cigarette, drink and shag but they managed to avoid this rite of passage, I just want to start punching the head off them to show them what they have missed all these years. Its always been said that I have a kind face, the kind you want to bash in so maybe that's why I've been involved in the odd scuffle in my time.