On The Eve Of The Yes Vote

 The Krankies and John Barrowman .... The best of Scotland.

Tis the eve of the battle in which we stand in defiance of tyranny, you have come to vote as free men and weemen. And vote man you shall! If you can not be bothered to vote and dying in your bed many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back and vote for FREEEDDDOOOOMMMM! 

 

William Wallace (name means the Welshman) saying to the English to take the land if they are hard enough ... he proved that they weren't. 

The Bagpipe is an instrument introduced by the Roman army when it occupied Britain. It was the Irish who first took to it as they lived amongst the Romans and the northern Celtic tribes as victualers. First mentioned in Ireland in 1206 AD which was 30 years after the Normans had arrived. Ireland has a habit of being invaded which is why we have fuck all natural resources.

The bagpipe in Scotland would not really take off until 200 years later and that was thanks to the English forcing it upon them.

Whiskey was brought over by Irish monks who learned the secrets of distillation in Arabia around about 500 to 600AD ... the Scots invented leaving out the 'e' .

Rob Roy MacGregor was from Ballymena, Northern Ireland. 

The popular traditional meal of Haggis, neeps and tatties isn't very local either. Haggis was eaten in Ancient Greece, neeps or turnips are from Russia and Scandinavia (and only fit for cattle to eat) and tatties are of course potatoes from the new world.

 The Picts were fierce warriors, this young lad would totally fuck you up. 

Before the Romans and before the Scots, the Picts lived in the north, some tribes of Picts were also thought to have lived in Ulster too, hardly surprising as the water way is only 13 miles wide. The Pictish language has more in common with the Welsh and the Cornish than with Irish Gaelic and so probably came from Northern Europe by sea.

 The chasing out of a Sassenach.... from last week.  

The modern Scots came from the north east of Ireland around the 6th century and formed a great Celtic kingdom (along with the Picts) of Dál Riata. In those days it was far easier and safer to take short journeys out to sea than dangerous slow journeys inland. Now both the sea and inland are slow and dangerous, ah how things have changed.


Yes it's true, the Scots were originally Irish, the Gaelic language changed somewhat when the Vikings destroyed the power of Dál Riata and leaving two lots of Celts divided by 13 miles to get on with things.  
The Picts, the Danes and all those who the Romans had brought over and of course the tribes in the north of England make the Scots what they are today.

Left behind .... From proud Scots/Irish to inbred Ulster/Scots.

The Scottish are a very genetically diverse people, whose culture has been forced on them mostly by the English and developed from all over the world, they developed the strengths in their DNA as a form of culture, fighting, getting drunk and being stingy with money gives them a sense of who they are ..... the men are like that too.  

Tomorrow is not just a vote for Scottish independence but for others stuck to partners they want rid off... c'mon Catalonia, yer next.
Doctor Who is a Scot (not one pretending to be English) and after all these years it had to be this year that Outlander finally made it to the TV, we are being prepped.  

This vote may piss off half the nation of Scotland no matter which way it goes, a 51% of votes is not what a new nation should be based on, but it means something far deeper. Not just a thumb in the eye of the smug English but proof that there is another way than what we are told.

Vote YES for Scottish independence .... not because it's the best thing to do but because of the great potential to fuck up even more than just the UK.  Chaos is cool!

Old Jews Are Slightly Funny

Recently a police officer in Northern Ireland got torn a new one because on the police social media page he wished everyone a happy new year. He had it translated into Irish, Romanian, Lithuanian etc etc but he forgot to do it in Ulster/Scots .... a totally made up language designed to get Protestants EU funding and to score points against Sinn Fein who promote the Irish language.

That police officer had to make an apology because there were some complaints. It isn't a fucking language if you can understand it in English, it's a low brow dialect.

Faur oan in tha day means late afternoon and a granmither means grandmother ... a language or a white version of Ebonics?  


Then you have this new show on the BBC. It has Old Jews telling jokes .... aye, fuck being politically correct .... what a fucking crazy world! 

Saul goes into the doctor's office and the doctor says, "I don't know how to tell you this but you just have to stop masturbating" Saul thinks for a moment and says "but why, why do I have to stop?" the doctor replies, "so I can examine you."

Some Jewish women were sitting in a restaurant and the waiter goes up to them and says, "good afternoon ladies is anything all right?"

Quare Goings On As Culchies Discover Radio

Resident DJ Robert McBurny asks listeners the question 'wat ar ye luckin at?'

Northern Ireland is to have it's first Ulster Scots radio station. Ballymoney-based fUSe FM will give people who tune into the station by accident a taste of the recently invented Ulster Scots culture.

It was a dreich day, I was out wif me dauchter Senga an I was disjaskit cos I had yon Scitters. We met  sam Lown fowk with the fleg on de roddin, den de peelers came roun an we had a bradbean scatty. I was Forfoughten so I shute  "Houl yer wheesht we're jus here fer ar Heirskip away an fook!" 

I hope ya get the idea, there are no translators on the radio ya goamy so learn the fuckin language.

The station will be baws to the wall culture with a capital 'K' , there will be a fair bit of banter but no humour .... maybe some light hearted exchange about tractors, drums and farm fairs .... but no 'funny' humour.

There is no word in Ulster Scots for the words, funny, compassion and thank you. There are 32 ways to say 'no.' 

There will be an hour devoted to the weather.

Since the Ulster Scots do not like outsiders, we ask anyone from outside the Ballymoney to mind yer own business and not tune in.

If you want to request some music please feel welcome to do so, as long as it's from 'Now thats what I call Sashbash 1, 2 and 3' CD's.  No diddle eye music as we aren't leprechauns, unless there is a foreign investor about as then we will answer to the name Irish .... to be sure.