Russian Troops Fighting In Ukraine

Russia denies a massive build up of troops and equipment along the Ukrainian border. They are just practicing moving hundreds of tanks and mobile rocket launchers as part of their summer maneuvers .... it's all just a bit of fun. 

Old Knudsen dusted off his Russian phrase book and went in search of Russian troops on Ukrainian soil. In Ukraine's Luhansk region it didn't take long to find someone that looked out of place.

Sergei is a young Russian with obvious military connections, using my master interrogator techniques honed over many years working with the company it wasn't long before he told me everything.
"I am in Russian army but am on holiday right now, since I enjoy killing people I thought I'd come to Ukraine and enjoy myself. No one made me and look, I have no Russian military badges on my clothes which is my street wear, not a uniform."

Sergei is a big Steven Seagull fan and showed me some choke holds, when I regained consciousness I put my clothes back on and went searching for more Russians, Sergei had no reason to lie to me so I believed him. 

It wasn't long before I stumbled upon 400 of these guys. One of them told me that they were not Russia soldiers but are actually doing a reenactment of a Russian World war II battle of Maskirovka which I hadn't heard of but who cares what the Russians did in WWII it was the Yanks that won that one. 
They were quite historically accurate though their tanks looked more modern than WWII ... fucking amateurs. 

I didn't think I'd find any proof until I met Yelena, like Sergei she too was on vacation. In between her talking to her BF on the phone she cleared it up that the Ukrainians often pretend to be Russians and dress in Russian uniforms and even fire missiles on their own towns and shoot themselves to put the blame on the poor Russians. 
If you look at some of these supposed Russian tanks you'll see they are really card board cut outs and very often under those uniforms you'll find sick old people and innocent children that are put in harms way. 

Just wow! So don't believe all those pictures on Twitter it's probably photoshap and boy do I feel embarrassed at thinking the Russians were helping the separatists and that soldiers were being ordered to volunteer and fight against the Ukrainians and deny all if caught. 

I must tell David Cameron to stop pulling a Chamberlain, he thought that by cutting down the armed forces of the UK to a part time home guard army and by distancing us from the EU that Russia would spare us when the big one came. 

Putin has declared that the deaths of soldiers who die during peace time are now a state secret, this is to block the mother of soldiers groups in Russia who want the bodies of their sons returned when they die while on holiday in Ukraine. This seems perfectly reasonable.   

To quote the great peace maker himself Vladimir Putin, "Jet fuel may not be able to melt steel beams but it will turn it to putty and cause it to collapse like the great imperialist war machine." 

   

Kim Jong-un Calls For World Peace

Showing America how to control a crowd.

Kim Jong-un the dictator of North Korea stopped starving and oppressing his people to take a swipe at the US. 'Look at you America, you've imprisoned more people than anyone, you number one laughing stock' 
Yes America does have the world's largest prison population and that is why the US is so safe, because the criminals are all in prison. Also because everyone have guns that adds yet another layer of safety and protection.

Most Americans feel so safe that they only lock the doors to their hooses in case of hungry bears or racoons getting in and stealing their burgers and hotdogs. 

 Christopher Buckner, 20, and her brother Timothy Savoy, 25

America is so peaceful and full of love that brother and sister often fuck in their trailers inspired by such movies as The Notebook ..... You should have seen what these two did after watching The Waterhorse and why is a gurl named Christopher? to remind her that her parents wanted a boy?

If found to be acting suspicious by the police, never volunteer that you just fucked yer sibling in the ass .... three times cos twice isn't as romantic .... 3 times is Ryan Gosling romantic.  

I came, I saw, I pointed.

Lil Kim also expressed his disgust at the Ferguson riots, ' You shoot black people dead, you no love your people as I love mine, we never kill black people'  Yes America should stop shooting black people, especially out of season. North Korea imports American black people like Dennis Rodman to play basket ball ... does that sound racist to you?

  Russian police get stuck in after someone muttered a complaint about queuing for food for 3 hours.

Russia ... that cuntry ruled by yon ex KGB agent complained about the heavy handed US police and described them 'as the Ku Klux Klan dressed up as law enforcers'  aye Russia would never harm its minorities, just ask the Georgians Chechens and Ingush about that .... not to mention the gheys.

The EU have threatened sanctions on Russia if they don't stop invading the Ukraine, 2,500 people dead but all those who recently yapped about Gaza have been very quiet ... oh right, trendy activism, I called it you are a load of moronic hypocrites.
Ukraine are fighting a war for all of us, they gave up their nukes in return for Russian protection ..... nicely played, only Hitler could have pulled that off.
  

 12 outlets were temporarily closed to try to find faults



Russia have started to pick on the 400 McDonald's restaurants they have. Locally run and employ thousands of people the Russian food hygiene department have decided to examine their procedures after 10 years, before that they just let them get on with it.

KFC and Subway have been spared this unwanted attention so far. If more sanctions hit, Russia may pick on all western owned businesses as they have done with fruit imports from Poland.  You can't sanction Russia, Putin doesn't give a shit what the people eat, he sanctions himself and laughs.    

When  cuntries like Russia an North Korea call you on yer poor human rights record there must be something wrong.

Some free advice to the US, send yer convicts to places like Australia or to some lovely islands in the Bay of Bengal, it worked for us and as for police brutality in low class communities, try building walls around all yer ghettos so the people inside feel more secure.

Oh and yer leader should never go to a press conference and declare to the world that he doesn't have a clue what to do ..... that sounds more like DUP leadership and isn't very inspiring.  

The Truth Is Out There

 

This is the country where I was born and raised, but there is another country, one where I get my family name from. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if things were different. What if I was Russian?  

 If Old Knudsen was Russian this would be him- ski.

David Duchovny was hired because of his Russian sounding name that sounds like the Russian word for "spiritual" by a drinks company to star in a video that had him becoming a Russian.

If he was Russian he could have went into space, the Russians aren't as picky as NASA. The ad plays on  positive stereotypes and has things that only Russians will pick up on. Probably really funny shit, as long as yer Russian that is.
Russian TV has a ban on alcohol ads and so this is only for the Interwebs. 

Or he could have been a cool as fuck Russian rock star slappin the bass. Russia has given the world so many famous rocks stars it would be so easy for him. The only famous Russians I know is Trotsky who wrote War on Peace and Chekhov from Star Trek .... oh and that hot lass who was the spy.     

So this American Hollywood star is shown as being Russian at a time when the US and the EU have been slamming sanctions onto Russia because their goons shot doon a civilian airplane in Ukraine.

In fact Russia has said fuck you all and put its own sanctions onto itself that's how crazy they are, no Polish fruit, no Ukrainian soy, fuck off Greek fruit and do we really want to import chicken from the US? ..... Do chickens not grow in Russia?

This deal and video was made just before the Malaysian airliner crash and is meant to be fun like Coca-Cola's "America is beautiful" Molson's "I am a Canadian" or the UK's Budweiser "king of beer" ads.

"

 Sláinte - ski!

Duchovny was raised being told that he was of Russian descent but in an ironic twist he just recently found out that he is in fact Ukrainian ..... also Polish and his chin is a little Scottish. 

Don't worry he's American and it's more or less the same cuntry huh? well if Putin has his way it will be.   

Eastern Bloc Promise

 1

Out of respect for what is happening in the Middle east, all my Christian shaming gurls cum from either Russia or the Ukraine.

2

Does it really matter which is which? You aren't going to put yer hand away in support of Ukraine, you aren't fooling anyone.

  3

I do find them interesting to look at this week for some reason, this Ukrainian lass has a very expressive face like yer painting Moaning Lisa. 

4

Don't ask me what the fuck is up with her hair, I'm a bloke .... look tits! 

5

This one looks evil but of course she is, she's naked on my blog that qualifies as being evil right? Feast yer eyes you child loving Christians, is evil really that bad? .... at least it's legal. 

6

Such a lovely smile her tits have, is it the stool or the tasteful beach scene that makes her appear so full of joy?

7

Check out the bone structure on that, and what a great pair of eyebrows. Old Knudsen, ya did good.

8

Red underwear, ya guessed it she's a Russian. 

9

Not big with the tits this week, ah well just blame the politic tension. 

10

The gurl without her red underwear, what a lovely pear she has though. 

A Hard Ukrain's A-Gonna Fall

Old Knudsen has just returned from Ukrainia where he was hired as a consultant to trouble shoot the acquiring of some land. 
He had the same job in 1938, you go to these places and say, 'well they all speak the same bloody lingo, you need to move yer troops from that direction and get a foothold, raise some flags, have a party an shit then take the rest.'

Doesn't pay well I mean ya can't go doon to Tesco an pay for yer drink with a gold brick, there is no fucking checkout for that. 

    
They take cards and cash but not Nazi fucking gold .... WTF!!!! Tesco?

I just want to say well done to Abby Martin.

Many of you won't have heard of her until she came out and said that Russia was wrong to use it's military to interfere in the Ukraine.
She is an eloquent, classy mix of brains and beauty, you can find a Youtube of her protesting 9/11 on the street with placard in hand, yeah shes a truther and has accused Israel of using "Hitler's methods" which Old Knudsen has said himself so shes got some smarts.

She is a Callyfornia babe and far from anti-American but if yer cuntry or other cuntries are doing shit then call them on it, this shows that she hold governments accountable for their actions and doesn't blindly follow a flag.

America, love it or leave it! .... no you leave it you ignorant fucktard, I'm staying to sort it out. 

Now and again Old Knudsen switches on RT (Russia Today) as it has an odd slant to it and it can tell you some of what is going on by what they don't say or how they say it . The channel is funded by the Russian government and so cannot not be trusted 100%  ..... exactly like the BBC.

Martin has a great opening segment for her show full of glamorous hair shots and helicopter rides over the US Capitol, very nice and she is easy on the eye and far better to listen to than most.

Having complained in the past on numerous occasions about US military interference she has been largely ignored but as soon as the media picked up on her slagging off her bosses they ran with it.  A little one sided there don't you think?
US intentions on Syria really need to be explored more than they are. Siding with Al Qaeda and giving them aid and weapons ...... well we know how that one ends. America, learn from yer mistakes.

Another RT anchor found her voice after Martin's comments, Liz Wahl said she has been faced with ethical and moral challenges and added that she is daughter of a U.S. military veteran and the partner of a physician who works at a U.S. military base.

"And that is why, personally, I cannot be part of a network funded by the Russian government that whitewashes the actions of Putin."

"I'm proud to be an American and believe in disseminating the truth," she added. "And that is why, after this newscast, I'm resigning."

 
Sounds a little like she is putting out her resume to Fox news or other news stations who don't want a commie but want a patriot.

So here is a break down on the whole Ukraine thing in easy Old Bitter Balls fashion .... cos my readers ain't too smart.

Without going into the whole, history of the Ukraine which is very bloody and full of ethnic cleansing and the mass deportation of foreigners you have the cuntry that became independent in 1991.

East Ukraine has most of the industry of the cuntry and more or less keeps the west half of the cuntry going .... a very good reason why the Russians like eastern Ukraine so much, follow the money.

In the east they identify with being Russian more and the west identifies with being European more.      

Yulia Tymoshenko ..... the hot chick with the braids was Prime Minister for a while but Russia preferred Viktor Yanukovych and helped him to change laws that would help him to rig elections and get back into power, strangely enough a whole slew of criminal charges against Yulia came up and she has been in prison for the past year and a half.

Yanukovych also did the dirty on the people by signing for an economic bailout from Russia and stronger trade deals which led to all this shit right now.

Over 70 odd people have died in ant-government protests , these people are heroes fighting against Stalinist type brutality.
Loyalists and Fleggers ... hang yer heads in shame yapping on about a flag that isn't even being removed. Wise the fuck up you don't have a clue what real oppression is like. How many fleggers have died?
What you do is mindless stupid and pathetic. 

A while back the Ukraine signed away all it's nukes in an agreement with Russia, the U.S. and the U.K. saying that being nuke free meant that they were protected ..... right?  .... surprise! Russia don't need no stinking paper.

All very Neville Chamberlain.

Russia hasn't gone all out with invading, just enough troops to get the people worked up and fighting each other, there is also a Russian warship 200 miles off the US coast docked at Cuba to do a little sabre rattling.

They see this like if the U.S. invaded a part of Mexico (they have not done this recently but have done it) and think well this is our back yard so fuck off! America should understand that, as the Monroe doctrine says as much about what America gets up to in it's back yard is it's own business.

There has been a political deal to restore election procedure to the way it was in 2004 before the amendments were made, will this get the troops out and things back to normal? ... I doubt it. 

 

Blurred Lines

A man and woman in the Ukraine were returning home from having a few drinks with friends. You know what happens next.

I know you want it, but you're a good girl, the way you grab, me must wanna get nasty ....

So you go to the nearest railway tracks for a shag because having sex near railway tracks is so, thrilling .... Ukrainian television must be really shite.

Before you know it.

Can't let it get past me, you're far from plastic, talk about getting blasted, I hate these blurred lines....

The woman is killed and the man gets his legs cut off.  This sort of thing could happen to any one of us, trains are definitely a safety hazard.

Well Old Knudsen is going to visit him in the hospital, I'll bring him a bunch of grapes and a wordsearch book. Then I'll ask him the question that all my three readers are gagging to know, 'did you cum?'

 

How To Save The World.

I don't believe that the children are our future, I think of them as a pack of lazy lay a bouts that may become a source of food in the future.
Its up to great thinkers like Old Knudsen to cum up with a plan to save the world..... again, what you don't remember the attack from the Uranians? them and their sneaky spaceships from Uranus came in from behind Earth and attacked by shooting insanity rays at the Earth with the hope of us self destructing. If it wasn't for the tin foil under me cap I might have gone crazy too, lucky the severed head in my fridge told me to wear it.
It was only the sanity and commonsense to be found on this Blog that caused the rays to turn back on the Ukrainians, Iranians no I mean the Uranians and drove them insane and to open all the windows on their rocket ships thus dying.

They tried to get me with their spies but I was able to kill several Ukrainians, no I mean Uranians , you know I'm old and I get confused by thick accents so I killed and asked questions later.

Anyway Kilamory is short a few migrant workers and panhandlers so I don't think it turned out all too bad, however I may need some fall guys/weemen and alibis so feel free to step up, yes I'm sure all the weemen will want to claim to the police that I spent all night in their beds making wild passionate dirty messy love, can't blame you bragging rights and all perhaps a book deal to tell all, yes Mr Frobisher you too can claim it .
I was lying in bed the other night fondling myself to sleep and then I thought about Al Gore, one thing lead to another and I solved Global warning.
The Earth is 70% water right? and what do you do to cool doon a drink? you put ice cubes into it, fuck I'm brilliant and none of that sciencey stuff involved.
Never trust a scientist or a Thetan, did you know that Tom Cruise wants to produce a movie about the Thetan aliens of Scientology? I'm sure that will be really interesting :::yawn::::

Getting back to my brain fart er I mean wave. large floating ice making machines at the mouths of all the rivers , run by hydroelectricity of course, or coal whatevers handiest. Thousands of them dispensing foot long ice cubes into the ocean's currents. the seas cool doon the air cools doon and finally we might get some snow, can any of yous remember what snow looks like? for fucks sake its been so long, "DAMN YOU GLOBAL WARNING", to be honest I'm not sure I believe its that serious a problem, over population is, but my mass extermination plans as a means to save the environment always get me investigated by the Peelers.

Throw Ice cube into the sea as well, couldn't hurt, well it would hurt him but I'm not caring so much.

Now I have to contact Richard Branson who has put up 25 million dollars for anyone to make a machine to stop global warming , 25 mil isn't that much considering what a dollar gets you these days and they only give you 5 mil up front and the rest after 10 successful years , lucky I have me pensions and if I drain the blood out of enough runaways and proper sacrifices etc I should last 10 more years, the dollar had better be worth something then.
In about 15 or 20 years with the aid of make up Matt Damon will be able to play me in the story of my life, not a movie for all the family to see, no wait if young children can be taken to see the Passion of Christ to make them better Christians then they can see me banging Helen Mirren and getting head from Judi Dench, they might learn a thing or two, I just hope Matt can get my climax face right.