Another Cunt Bites The Dust

I had to cum out of being too busy to blog to gloat. Ted Kennedy hero of the battle of Chappaquiddick died of a brain tumor aged 77. Ironic considering the size of the average Kennedy head.

I hope this cunt fades within a week unlike that shite hawk Michael Jackson, now its murder with the pedo prince of poop I fear dead celebs create more media attention than when they were alive.
Anne Nicole Smith and Heath Ledger may have also been murdered yes a serial killer stars to take drugs to kill them cos that is the only way they would take them right?

Lets open up the 1977 Elvis case.

Fatwa Fridays

I remember that back in the day when you were going to do something you wouldn't threaten it and then just not do it. I wonder how many people this sign holder has beheaded.

I have often asked God, "If you know everything then how cum you have let all this crap go on? I mean if you use the whole 'free will' excuse then yer the kind of bad parent who lets his kids drink beer in the hoose so they aren't somewhere nasty doing it anyway or the kind of bad parent who lets his son get crucified to make some vague point cos all of humanity are yer children right?"

At this point God usually shrugs and says, "I dunno" pot has robbed him of his ambition and he doesn't care, he can't even be arsed to rape young virgin gurls anymore.

A typical Jew and the bloody Romans.

You can blame weemen for original sin or the Jews for killing Jesus if you want, I know I do, at least on every other day. I also blame Saddam for 9/11 but thats beside the point.

He had the heart of a lion and the face of a pig. Now they use pigs for hearts and dead peoples faces for faces.

Which reminds me. Richard the Lionheart, what a cunt. A Frenchie who used England to drum up finances for his wars, he once said he'd sell London if he could find a buyer which is understandable as its a shitehole full of soft Sassenachs.
Upon his coronation he banned all Jews from the event and those who turned up with gifts were stripped, thrown out and flogged and which sparked of Jew massacres across the cuntry, ah good times.



I said to Richard, yer just a pawn of the Pope. Who gives a fuck about Jerusalem ? its not like the place is sitting on valuable oil. Richard would look at me with a puzzled look on his face them go back to eating his garlic frogs legs in wine sass, he didn't speak much English and my French is piss poor, unless you mean the kissing cos then I am a grand wizard.


Back then Muslims were the enlightened smart ones now they are just the fanatical bogeymen. History is full of them, you need yer scary bogeyman to get what you want under the guise of something else. Savages of any kind including American Injuns, witches which meant wise weemen or midwives, Klingons, gheys, wogs, liberals, commies or socialists not like you know the difference and any other religion.

We kill yer people you kill ours and the hatred festers over the centuries.

All swings and round abouts. Guy Fawkes was a fenian cocksucker terrorist type who wanted to blow up the hooses of parliment and the protestant government including many Catholics.

Catholics aren't like normal people as they only value human life when it looks like wall paper paste and gets wiped on an old sock and thrown away.

Its just as evil as any other religion except Protestant, any one who insults Protestantism should be beheaded.

Now because of a film Guy Fawkes is a creepy hero. Tom Cruise couldn't do it but if you get Matt Damon to play Hitler he'll turn out to be likable and the next generation of idiots will have Hitler t-shirts like that Che Guevara cunt.

Speaking of which is it ok to ignore what people really did and were really like as long as it gives you a hero or a better story? Does time, good deeds and a lack of remorse wipe the slate clean?


Ted Kennedy got an honourary knighthood from Gordon Brown (texture like sun) for his help in the Northern Ireland peace process, the education of kids around the world and for bringing health care to many Americans.

What the fuck Flash Gordon? do you not remember 1969 Mary Jo Kopechne ? so you can drink and drive, flip yer car over into a water filled ditch leaving a gurl to spend 2 hours in an air pocket before she dies while you stagger off back home to sleep it off. You can cheat on yer wife like all the Kennedy clan and consort with and fund Sinn Fein and the IRA and get a knighthood?

"Do we operate under a system of equal justice under law?Or is there one system for the average citizen and another for the high and mighty?"

Well you would know Ted as you said this in 1973 and yer whole family are like that. I'm not even touching upon the Nazis and the Mafia.
Millions of Americans are still without health care, never mind educating kids around the world yer own school systems are cutting funding and staff and only educate kids on how much yer own government hates you .............. losers!

The Kennedy's have never had strong moral fiber ......... none of them. Gandhi was also a cunt but he did things for the good of many so who cares if he treated his wife and kids like shit?

The good of the many outweighs the need of the one or the few, a wise man named Spock once said that but he was giving up his own life not destroying the lives of innocents unnecessarily for his own agenda and ego.



In government you may have to sacrifice people for the greater good like Churchill destroying the stubborn French navy so the Nazis wouldn't get it, like Lincoln provoking the start of the civil war to keep the union united but there is no need to be a wanker who can't keep it zipped.


Oh and Islam has a small limp willy.

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Do Farts Smell Lovely In Heaven?

I was once a sergeant in the police force investigating the huge hippy populations on the remote Scottish Isles.
Hippies mean one thing, long hair and drugs .......... ok thats two things. I was tricked into walking into a huge wickerman when I was told there was free drink inside. All I found was death because those stoned hippies set it a light as a sacrifice to Harry Pothead the dark God of weed. These tossers were amateurs as I had already died and have been reanimated by a Voodoo zombie prince and still had 3 lives left. I didn't have the means to confine them and torture statements out of them so I fashioned a large wooden cross and bludgeoned them to death with the lard. "Kill them all and let God sort out the stoned."

Someday my time will be up and I shall sing with the Heavenly choir eternal but for now I'm sort of alive and kicking.

Who of those featured below do you think will die first? welcome to the very first and probably the last installment of Celebrity Death-race 3000.

Patrick Swayze was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in January and given 5 weeks to live. The cunt is still ticking. His cancer has boosted his career and has given him a TV series called 'The Beast' which is about a large mutant vagina that goes from town to town eating people, what an ironic twist on muff diving. Swayze plays FBI agent Dan Bradwin and he and his animated space monkey partner follow the trail of *fanny* batter to find the killer.


Ted Kennedy famous for killing staff members and being the usual two faced Kennedy politician has a brain tumor. It has been said that the Devil himself will come up from Hell to collect this ones soul.



Some pubs or bars have betting pools on how long it will be before Barack Obama gets assassinated. Lets hope he fixes a few of Bush's fuck ups before he gets killed and immortalised as a saint.



Amy Winehouse has talent and whatever she is a tortured soul, with a face like that what can you expect? This chavette cannot last anymore longer, why would God do that? Why does God not keep good people like Paul Newman alive forever by giving them the wasted life force of people like Winehouse? I will be having words with that cunt of a deity when I go up to judge him on judgement day.


Bear Grylls eats rotting carcasses and squeezes the contents of a camel's stomach for water. He must have more parasites in his body than anyone ever. Its only a matter of time before the Sting-rays or the Lemurs get him. Drop him off in Killamory with an 'I love the Pope' T-shirt on and we'll see how long he survives.


Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the mouthpiece of Iran recently had a bout of man flu. Also one of his top yes men was found to have had a fake degree. Mahmoud laughed it off and said it was only a piece of paper. No Mahmoud it was a nit-picky excuse to get rid of one of yer people yer on yer way out lad. Yer last performance review was shite and the people are sick of you. You are the weakest link Goodbye.

Who will go first? or maybe some cunt jealous of not being included will go. Its like people you want to see naked you never see the ones you want. Those you want to die (I have a long list) will live to old age and you'll have a sagging pencil thin trollop saying, "Thats Hot!" thinking that she is sexy as she does now.



*Arse in America and vadge in the real world*


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Delighting In Schadenfreude

Did you hear the news? No not the 78,000 dead from the cyclone in Burma nor the 40,000 dead in the earthquake in China but actual happy news. Edward Kennedy has a malignant brain tumor.

I laughed and said "buy yer way out of that ya big headed cunt" and don't you dare go on about the Kennedy curse, oh poor family with their big hooses, boats, private planes, drinking and womanising oh I feel so sorry for you all you fugly tossers, I never understood why people thought they were good looking, they weren't/aren't.

His brain tumor is the ghost of Mary Jo Kopechne the secretary he killed while driving drunk in 1969 when he crashed into a pond and managed to get out but left her there not reporting the incident.
He wasn't too worried he paid the parents $90,904 and they didn't take any legal action or even allow an autopsy. The police diver that first saw her said she was at a place where an air bubble had formed so was probably still alive for a good while.

The Kennedy's come from a dirty Irish clan who were the first bog trotters to wear helmets to protect their extremely large melons.

Ted's dad was a cowardly fuckwit who wanted to appease Hitler and it pissed me off to hear a dumb republican quote Churchill in reference to Ted Kennedys illness, how dare you sir.

Kennedy Snr lobotomised his own daughter who was a bit slow but they didn't want her to get pregnant and give the family a bad name so he hid her away for the rest of her life as she wasn't up to much after the operation .

All the Kennedys are sneaky shites, just ask the Cubans who the US trained to fight Castro but left them to be slaughtered what they think about Jack and Bobby.

Ted Kennedy is a true politician, he follows public opinion and changes with the wind. He was pro life until Roe vs Wade in 1973 then he magically became pro choice, some Catholic huh.

He supported the IRA and called for the withdrawal of troops out of Northern Ireland. When public opinion turned against Sinn Fein (AKA Fenian cocksuckers) in 2004 he snubbed Gerry Adams. Shit doesn't stick to old Teddy boy.

I'm already sick about how people are turning this wanker into a saint and hes not even dead yet. I hope karma gives it to him good, it took long enough. Wouldn't it be ironic if he died on secretary's day?

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