Does Michelle Obama Have A Penis?

Old Knudsen has long since retired from the crying game so he does not see why he has to keep all of those wee secrets . Sure if the public know the secrets yer life would be in danger but Old Knudsen is willing to risk that.
If anything happens to Old Knudsen a letter will be sent to all the media outlets except for Fox and the Huffington post ... assuming Terry remembers where he put the letters, he took a bullet to the hed in 1982 and isn't all there if you ask Old Knudsen.

Aye Old Knudsen served with Terry during the Falklands conflict, we were so close to winning that one then they sunk my battleship.

 

Does Michelle Obama have a penis? Is she a he? For years Old Knudsen has distracted the press with statements like, "It was a tampon that became sentient and tried to escape" or "It was just the light shining off Venus" but now why should I care? I'm nearly at the point of coming clean about chemtrails and naming the scientist who invented Aids. 

Michelle Obama has that 'get yer fat ass moving America' health program and when she goes onto live TV with her bouncing penis in full view I cannae come up with any more cover stories that simple folks like yerself will believe... IT BOUNCES FFS!!!!

Just look at the kids Somalia and Mecca, they look nothing like either of them. There is no record of their births and no pics of Michelle while pregnant, it is more likely these kids were secretly adopted from Morocco in 2003 when Barack was there buying weed and training insurgents under the name Barry Soetoro.

So is Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama really Michael LaVaughn Robinson Obama?

So Barack Hussein Obama II is a young black Muslim man from Kenya who moves to America, he'd like to become president but being from Kenya and having the middle name Hussein he thinks that there is no chance.
Schwarzenegger was a maid Schtupping Nazi serial groper but it was the whole being from Austria thing was what put the kibosh on his White house plans.  

So what the hell? Obama smoked weed, ate dog and dated a transvestite ... no chance of being preez so why not do it all? Being a lawyer in Illinois isn't really being a lawyer as the only law they have there is the law of the Thunderdome so he was just drifting along in life. 

Then he gave a speech at a Democratic party that got him attention, you know the one, "I had a day dream in which the farmer and the rancher were not only equal but they were friends" ... yadda yadda yadda. 

After that he had to act all white and Michelle had to start strapping it doon. If you don't play along you get replaced, which is why he has II after his name, this isn't the original Barack. 

All that is of course a lie. Imagine an organization so large and powerful that it wants you to think that someone was from Kenya and that his wife was a tranny, this organization takes yer worse fears .... oh look Obama is here to take yer guns, and doesn't mind you believing them because the truth is far worse.   

  Eat a healthy diet.

Yes they still are reptilian aliens I haven't changed me mind on that. So are many Republicans, why else don't they mind you thinking how dumb they are? It's a two party system except both parties are run by aliens. 

Why is Michelle Obama so interested in what children eat? The same way that corn fed chickens taste better than chickens fed on Twinkies. Why exercise? Lean meat tastes better, go try kangaroo if you don't believe me. 

No, Michelle Obama isn't a transvestite and so what if she was? Barack Obama isn't a ghey Muslim from Kenya, and he certainly isn't the anti-Christ .... Simon Cowell is the anti-Christ. 

We are here to save you. 

Yes the aliens posing as humans will poison our world and destroy our will to fight back, they do encourage the population to grow so we'll be food for them, then they'll descend in space ships looking like angels telling us to leave our inhospitable world that mankind has destroyed before we all perish and go with them to live in comfort and peace with God and we'll go cos we're dumb cattle.    

Then they'll tear off their masks and eat us. 

Aye it's hard to pick out the dumb cattle people from the pretending to be dumb aliens. I still have me files from me special oops days working on the Epsilon program so I know. Michelle can rub her cock in our faces during live TV all she wants but now you know what's really under those big gurl slacks. 

   

    

Bring On The Dancing Virgins

While the Interwebs go crazy about hacked photos of celebs there are real things happening in the world, maybe it's all an NSA distraction since they have access to Apple's iCloud.

The US sent a drone to attack the leaders of  Al-Shabaab in southern Somalia. It isn't clear how effective they have been yet. Al-Shabaab is a radical Islamist movement that recruits younger fighters to it's cause. They are similar to the Tallyban in that they get support by bringing law and order to war torn places that had total lawlessness.

If you have years of eating shit and someone comes along and gives you shit with some ketchup then yer gonna say, 'oh this isn't great but it's better than what we had.'

To talk recruits into becoming martyrs with the promise of 72 virgins etc,  Al-Shabaab once showed a Bollywood movie clip to them and said that this was sent doon from Heaven to show proof about the afterlife of martyrs.

Ah fuck it, would I give up my life for annoying music and wobbly heads? A Bollywood Heaven sounds more like how Gog botherers would describe Hell. Fucking recruiters huh, will lie like fuck to get you to sign away yer life, sounds like a very western concept to me.