Trump Hates Being President

It's easy to complain on Twitter that the President is playing too much golf and is doing everything wrong ... I mean Obama of course. No one took Donald Trump to the side and told him that being in charge of the world's second richest nation (used to be first, thanks Obama) was a difficult job.

No one pointed out that his policies were unrealistic and that having no plans was a bad thing.

Do you think George Washington had a plan when he crossed the  Delaware River under cover of darkness on the 25 December to surprise attack Hessian forces? Do you think Neil Armstrong spent years preparing and training himself to be the first *American* on the moon?   

Of course they didn't. A surprised Donald J Trump misses his old life ... the J now stands for jaded.

 
He misses driving instead of being driven around like Miss Daisy. He says he lives in a cocoon which is vastly different to the rich elitist bubble he's used to living in. He's not allowed to get rid of the horrible White House furniture and replace it with modern white and gold stuff.

There comes a time when you have to realize that antiques is just a pretentious way of saying old shit. The resolute desk he signs all his failed bills at was a gift from Queen Victoria in 1880 for fucks sake.

Get yerself down to IKEA and get a Bjorgensenord .... American sold! not some old oak desk from an inbred foreigner tart. 

Hey Donny, where is the toilet? ... on my orange face baby

His every move is watched which is why he made the White House visiting logs classified again after Obama had made them public. At least now he can have some of his non-political friends over without the public and his wife knowing. Trump's friends deserve to have privacy too.

In New York he could wander the streets at night with his most trusted security guard and beat a hobo to death but that kind of thing is frowned upon as President, so many new rules, it feels like he's walking on egg shells. Gone are the days of sex slave island with Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew.

 Trump haz a sad

He promised a 90 plan to defeat ISIS.
He promised to get rid of Obamacare and give tremendous healthcare to everyone.
He promised to jail Hillary.
He promised a special prosecutor to investigate Hillary Clinton.
He promised to build a wall and make Mexico pay for it. $21.5bn (£17.2bn), according to a Department of Homeland Security internal report.
He promised to drain the swamp. Excepts for jobs to relatives.
He promised to open up libel laws to make it easier to sue people especially those who slandered him.
He promised to end the sanctuary cities.
He promised to release his tax returns.
He Promised to ban Muslims from entering the US.
He promised to increase the size of the army to 540,000.
He promised to build a navy of 350 ships.
He promised an air force of 1,200 fighter aircraft.
He promised a Marine Corps based on 36 battalions.
He promised to approve waterboarding "immediately" and "make it much worse.
He Promised to hire and buy American ... unless he and his family could get it for cheaper.

His 100 Day Plan to Make America Great Again ... his contract with the American people to fulfill a load of stuff in his first 100 days that would make American great again has come and gone.  He either can't get the money for any of this or judges point out his bills are against the law and the Constitution and block them. 

No one knew that healthcare and foreign policy could be so difficult. In the history of mankind no one has ever mentioned how intricate these topics were. The talk with his new bestie Xi totally blew his mind.
If Xi Jinping had a few days more with Trump the US would probably Communist and Trump would take to wearing a coolie hat and eating chicken feet .... fucken Chinese Jedi mind tricks!   

    The onset of dementia has also hampered his progress 

Trump thinks that if it wasn't for incompetent staff. Republicans and Democrats that don't do as he says, the media with its fake news, the intelligence community and those protesters and whoever is paying them he could have achieved everything. 

What the fuck is up with ISIS, Assad and Kim jong un?  Why have they not backed down and surrendered? Didn't they see the footage of the 59 Tomahawks and the Mother of all bombs?  Trump read the blurb on the back cover of the Art of war ... he knows war better than anyone. 

 His war council are perplexed.

He also doesn't think that people should be allowed to mock the President, everyone should Respect My Authoritah!

  

Old Knudsen understands doing something without preparation and saying, 'I'll do it on the night' just hoping that yer half arsed effort will get you through. Why would Trump think otherwise? He's not been held accountable before. Even when sued or taken to court for racism when he refused to rent to blacks he settled or just blew it off. Four bankruptcies became victories for tax evasion. 

The man is 70, and people are going to start saying no to him now? .... people are fucked up.  I mean a march for science, what the fuck has science ever done for us? 

Being president is hard, maybe this is a life lesson for Trump to learn before dementia fully takes him. An Internet troll made to walk in Obama's Muslim sandals.     

*Old Knudsen first human on the moon I'm sure it's in this blog somewhere* 

How To Trigger Libtards

Make the White House the White Trash House by inviting all your semi retarded redneck friends for a photo op.

What that was about was that Trump needed the best minds that America could muster. Bill O'Reilly was off meeting the Pope and Alex Jones is in the middle of a custody trial .... he isn't really a conspiracy nutcase ya know, it's performance art. Hey didn't Charles Manson use that defense? 

So Ted Nugent, Kid Rock and Sarah Palin were the best Trump could get. Nugent and Mr Rock had their plus one, boy did Trump do some presidential pussy grabbing and I don't mean he grabbed Nugent or Rock.  

The master race fixing the cuntry

After sending the two nobody broads to get coffee he gave the 3 uber patriots instant top level clearance. They investigated any Russian connections to the Trump's campaign but they all agreed there was nothing there and anyone that says there is are obviously being instructed to by the Obama administration . 

A plan to defeat ISIS was formed too. Mr Rock who you can see is in his thinking pose wanted to hit them in their pocket as illegal oil sales are one of their main sources of income but Ted said 'that was fucking gay' and suggested big bombs instead ... they liked the big bomb idea more. Well that's ISIS more or less beat.  

Palin wanted to go with Trump's previous plan of jailing anyone that disrespected or burned the American flag but was told to be seen and not heard 'little missy' and she said 'you betcha!' and gave an old folksy wink.


Palin recently said that those women who were sexual harassed by Bill O'Reilly were to share some of the blame too as they hung around to get paychecks instead of putting a stop to it or leaving.   

Geez, it sounds so obvious when she puts it like that. Don't forget little ladies to avoid being raped just keep yer legs together ... duh! 

Trump will be visiting Vietnam in November if he's still president which led to him and Nugent swapping Nam stories. For 3 hours they spoke about their exploits. Mr Rock said, "didn't you both dodge the draft?" and was set straight. Living through that time and seeing the news every night was more or less the same as having served. 

They were going to sort out healthcare but it's a difficult subject believe it or not so best to just not bother. 

Trump spoke of his plans to reverse the Obama law that infringed upon the 2nd amendment rights of white Americans refusing to let them buy guns upon their release from prison. 

Over the past 8 years the fear that Obama was to take all the guns increased gun sales from gullible Conservatives and now sales have slumped. 

 This is what Obama does now

I bet that even after the next big shooting spree (aren't we about due one?) that guns sales won't increase that much then too. The people buying guns now are worried Libtards but they only buy little pink guns .... but no bullets cos loud noises scare them and what if they hurt someone? .... what if it was a person of color? .... oh the shame and white guilt.  

It was a productive White House meeting and Trump strongly hinted that there were top adviser jobs that needed filled. The three amigos and their significant others were abruptly ushered out as Scott Baio had turned up with some ideas about North Korea that he had in the shower that morning. 

    

Make America Inaugreat Again

On the 20th January 2017 something great will happen, something inaugreat! Donald Trump will be sworn in as the 45th President of the United States of America, the greatness nation in the world.

Trump is a man of the people so he'll do away with all those rich pampered A-list stars and go straight for the D-list and below.

A whose who of mental illness D-list stars are expected to be there to give the event much needed star power and dignity.

Jon Voight
Scott Baio
Gene Simmons
Stacey Dash
Ted Nugent
Dean Cain
Kid Rock
Jesse James
Mike Tyson
Stephen Baldwin
Gary Busey
Dennis Rodman
Lou Ferrigno
Hulk Hogan
Tila Tequila
Wayne Newton

Unfortunately no musical performers in that list though. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir has been a last minute substitution after a plane carrying the Russian military army's official choir crashed into the Black sea. 

The Radio City Rockettes were concerned for their pussies and would rather destroy their careers than perform for the misogynistic asswipe. Even when you are as rich and good looking as Trump is there will still be some rejection from the opposite sex .... I bet they are all leezers. 

Performers like Elton John, Bruce Springsteen and Katie Perry will not be there .... duh!

Trump will not swear on the Bible because his own word should be good enough he says. Here is an excerpt of his swearing in monologue he plans to do. Like Saturday Night Live but funny and not pathetic he says.

"My dear American people, I humbly stand here as the 45th I say again THE 45th FREAKING PRESIDENT! of my great nation. I will be a kind and fair ruler with the best, richest and loyal people in charge. None of us know what we're doing but did Jesus know what he was doing at first?"


"I'm not saying I'll use nukes my first week, maybe I will but Europe is full of terrorists, cuntries like London and Paris have whole parts under Shania law, taco carts on every corner. It's not all about me wanting to blow stuff up, in the spirit of working together I will withdraw all troops from Germany, Turkey and the South Gyna seas for no reason except cos I'm a nice guy, everybody says it."


Old Knudsen for one is very hyped that ghey hating Mike Pence Donald Tremendous Trump is soon to be preez. I also give thanks that I'm not American, ethnic, female or Muslim ... If I was either of those things I'd have an operation STAT! 

The US navy is the only branch of the services protected by the Constitution, it has been rumored that Trump has been seeking advice to cut back on soldiers in order to drain the swamp .... in other words stop the over spending of the government.  Eastern Europe has a surplus of soldiers who will work for less, just an idea he's been toying with.