Corbyn To Be PM Any Day Now

Jeremy Corbyn took time away from dropping acid in the teepee in his garden to remind the British people that he still has a chance of becoming Prime Minister.

"Any day now Theresa May will just give in. The crying the u-turns the pressure will be too much for her and she'll give me the keys to Number 10 .... any day now."  

John his neighbour who is fed up with these outlandish claims keeps shouting over the fence, "you lost you hippy!"

Corbyn thinks that if he blames lots of things on the Tories they'll just give up and Labour being the biggest loser in the election will get power by default.  

Corbyn turned his attention to his garden fence and reminded his neighbour whom he calls a negative ninny that he didn't lose, he just didn't win with style which is totally a victory in his rose tinted mind. 


"Any day now, just you wait and see." Corbyn added before re-joining the drum circle.   


 

Corbyn Talks To Terrorists

It's nice that a load of English people are feeling outraged on our behalf because Jeremy Corbyn has talked to the likes of Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness. The Sassenachs make sure there is suitable outrage by saying he 'talked to the IRA'.

Sure we know that Gerry and Marty were in the RA or rather running it but to be technical you say Sinn Fein, not the IRA.  Sinn Fein has always been known as the political wing of the IRA but this isn't about them or about how dialogue which was what got us the (terrorism still happens but now we call it crime) peace we have in Northern Ireland. It's about smearing Corbyn in the run up to the election. 

  Martin McGuinness Clark Kent's uncle and Todger Johnston 

Boris Johnston the Tory attack dog wants to make sure you know it isn't cool to talk to terrorists. He was the one on the ones that said if we left the EU £350 million a week could go to the NHS so you can believe whatever he says. Especially if he puts it on the side of a bus. Liars wouldn't go to all that trouble. 

The Troubles, as you know Old Knudsen also talked to terrorists, usually he was shouting "die scum" as he emptied his clip into them. He still has his scalp collection if you'd like to cum round and see it, just don't tell anyone where you are going. 

After centuries of treating Catholics in Ireland like second class citizens the Taigs started to demand things like human rights. The Protestants didn't want Fenian cocksuckers getting educated cos then they'd get all the jobs so the protest marching etc got attacked. The police were mostly Protestant and usually joined in with the attacks. A march by Protestants in DerryLondonDerryDerry was the trigger for a very concerning bout of street violence that had lasted for 3 days.

The  Prime Minister of Ireland (The Irish Republic) called for UN troops to be sent in and for anglo-Irish talks but British PM Harold Wilson said fuck you Ireland stop interfering we're not talking to you so in August of 1969 troops were sent in to Northern Ireland to restore law and order.

When you invade/send in the troops the enemy has someone to fight and gets to rally the people to save the homeland. This is why Bush's wars of terror failed.

The British troops sided with the Protestants, there were atrocities on both sides and no talking was done. Gerry Adams wasn't allowed to be heard on the TV, comically his words were dubbed by an actor. He'd be on screen talking but not with his voice. No talking was being done.

 

Has anyone else talked to the IRA? Ted Kennedy wasn't very fond of the British even though they gave him an honorary knighthood. Britain gives out knighthoods but only to people that are cunts. 

Nicolae Ceausescu got his knighthood in 1985. Robert Mugabe and Benito Mussolini were given and later stripped of their knighthoods. 

Knighted by the Queen and the Pope

You know that if you do a Google search for Jimmy Savile you'll find him posing with the Queen, Prince Philip, Prince Charles, Lady Diana and various other people like that vile predator Rolf Harris and that other one Tony Blair.

You know who you'll not see being pals with the UK's most prolific pedo?    

Yep, Jeremy Corbyn. The only link was when he was seen at Savile's holiday home after the national treasure had died. 

 

   

Corbyn may have hung out with Sinn Fein but if you look at his voting record he voted against setting up a Jimmy Savile cloning facility.  The Tories wanted to build it onto a children's hospital that was just across the street from a Primary school and an orphanage. They mocked Corbyn and called him a child sympathizer and anti-Jimmy Savile but in hindsight it was the right choice.  

The Tories want to smear Corbyn for talking to Sinn Fein even though that was what was needed for Northern Ireland peace ... I find that reasoning flawed. General Pinochet was a Chilean dictator who arrested and tortured 30,000 and made 3,000 disappear. Thatcher considered him a friend and tried to fight the charges against him .... that is totally sympathizing with terrorists, makes Corbyn's quest for peace seem lame. 

Pinochet outlasted his charges and died while on house arrest but with no convictions against him. He did the pretend to be sick, pretend to have dementia and lasted to the age of 91. 

  
Others have met with Gerry Adams but it's ok now because he's legit. The Tories are also attacking Labour's Diane Abbot for changing some of her views over the past 30 odd years. It seems that only terrorists are allowed to change. 

 Gerry is the last man standing of this terrorist trio. 

While the Tory smears seem quite weak it's a usual ploy. It distracts from the fact that Theresa May refuses to debate Corbyn and her election promises are pitiful. The Tories refuse to see that by having less police who work with communities that this leaves us open to extremism ... not our fault blame Corbyn, he talked to the IRA and now look ... um yeah there's a lack of bombing. 

   

People can and do change. McGuinness wanted to kill the Queen at one point. He never swore an oath to her but now he's remembered more fondly as a statesman than an IRA commander. He's still murdering scum when it suits the Tories though. 

Anyone that tries to blow up Margaret Thatcher can't be that bad. 

The worse thing about the Corbyn smears is that they ring hollow as he tends to be right. How long will the west keep bombing in the Middle East before they realise all they are doing is creating new enemies and another generation to hate them?  No one except Corbyn seems to have learned from The Troubles.

The wars were started based on lies so how can wanting to change tack because we aren't winning be a bad thing? Damn his hippy eyes he must be anti-war ... If you are pro-war then that means you've never been to war, idiot!

Support the troops, by bringing them home. 

The Tories gas light reality and tell you what's wrong or unjust. Corbyn bad, Abbot weak and hey we never talk to terrorists ... too much. 

Don't believe their crap.     

Jeremy Corbyn Sexy Mother Hugger

Back in the day while protesting against Tory genetic experiments on the poor

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn wants to be the next Prime Minister of Used to be Great Britain. Old Knudsen knows the people won't vote him into number 10 because everyone is into Nazis and throwing your vote away protest votes ... also yer fucken stupid and fall for the Conservative shit 9 times out of 10.

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you people you can't do anything right.

We know that Corbyn may be an idealist but going by his track record we can see he is a good man.

That's not enough for some. Oh woe is me people lie to me and fuck me over ... I had better vote for them then.

Corbyn has defied his own party over 500 times, a true rebel, he's fucken anti-establishment not Farage or Trump.

He's campaigned for human rights worldwide and against austerity in the UK. If something is wrong you protest it you don't say 'well that's just Jew stuff, Refugee stuff, African stuff' ... it's fucken HUMAN stuff.  

He was anti-Apartheid and getting arrested for it, he wanted to bring Margaret Thatcher's friend, Chilean dictator Pinochet to justice, he went against the Tories and voted for LGBT rights, supported the miners when the Tories were setting out to destroy their lives, jobs and communities ... the Tories did have a hit list and a plan to get em, it wasn't a made up conspiracy. 

He spoke out about the UK & other western governments selling weapons to Saddam in the 70's and 80's and protested when he used those weapons to kill loads of Iraqi Kurds.

He supported the Birmingham Six and Guildford Four in wrongful convictions which were were eventually quashed.

He voted against tuition fees, ID cards and dodgy Tory spending plans that would have cost the tax payer 10 billion a year. He has protested against costly and quite obsolete nukes. 

He brought the Fenian cocksuckers of the IRA in to talk out peace before it was a thing and has supported cocksucking Palestine over the years. It takes more bravery to talk peace with your enemies than to fight them. 

He saw through the Bush and Blair bullshit on Afghanistan and Iraq invasions after 9/11. 

 With Ed Sheeran from Simply Red

If constantly being on the right side of history isn't enough then I am here to show the werld the hidden side of Jeremy Corbyn. He has thrown up at more celeb parties than you've had hot dinners ... it doesn't get much more British an patriotic than that.

While he votes against illegal wars, selling arms to the rag heads and bombing shit he isn't a pacifist. He prefers to fuck people up for sport. He currently holds the over 60's cage fighting werld champion belt. He beat 85 year-old Jim Benson in November of last year to win the title. Jim was in a right fucked up state and had to be put down but a win is a win. Corbyn didn't come away unscathed, he sliced a bit of skin from his hand from Jim's wheel chair.

Corbyn is all hood. When his son got mugged by a moped thief in his Islington constituency Corbyn was furious, he beat the hoes and the street snitches until he caught them and said "you come onto my turf and disrespect my blood, I'm gonna make sure you NEVER do this again" he exacted street justice by letting the air out of his moped tyres. Corbyn has been sanctioned 43 times by his own party for flashing gang signs in party conference photos. 

He didn't choose the socialist life  ... it chose him . 

Real fur but the animal died of old age ... word!

Corbyn is a down to earth, real bloke and like the rest of us he has his peeps, his crew. In true socialist style they share everything ... in fact it's fucken disgusting at times. Frankie on the left and Lennon on the right are his gender neutral friends with an attitude. 

An avid Satanist he turned his coven to the vegetarian option for sacrifice and now they only sacrifice the likes of a bunch of Kale. The real winner is the Dark Lord whose blood pressure is way down and his poops are quite firm and regular. Hail Satan!    

Old men in caps have been sexy for some time now. Old Knudsen knows that being a decent bloke with a solid track record for doing the right thing won't matter to many, they fear that because they are used to snobby entitled toffs shitting on them from number 10 with the number twos. A decent bloke makes them look inwards at themselves and their petty shame is revealed. 

It was far easier to kick the vulnerable because, hey, everyone else was doing it. Nazi is not the cool thing right now and never has been. 

The Tories count on you being weak and voting for the familiar abuse because once they win, that Theresa May hag will use that win as 'the will of the people' to inflict whatever they want upon us. 

She uses Brexit as the will of the people but Old Knudsen is a person and he didn't vote for it. Do not mistake majority for truth. It was not the will of many of the people.

To be fair Old Knudsen must give the Tories some blog space too so you can fairly make up yer crack addled mind as to who to vote for and who is bitter better. 

 
  

Jeremy Corbyn The Next Prime Minister

Nothing Jeremy Corbyn likes better than to ride his bike on the open roads

You may have heard that there is going to be a General Election in Britain in June. Cos we aren't sick of voting and fucking things up eh? The last election had voters for the opposition party (Labour) doing a protest vote or not voting because they thought the then Labour leader Edward Miliband was weak. 

Yeah that showed them, voting Green or not voting gave the election to the Tories, well done you smart fucking arseholes. 

Labour scrambled to change and got Jeremy Corbyn as the new leader. 

 Making socks and sandals cool

Old Knudsen's take on him is that he's an idealist, a dreamer with his ideas not based on reality. He is anti-establishment, Trump and Farage were also called that but they weren't really. Corbyn has been compared to Bernie Sanders and yes if Sanders was less intelligent and less lovable they would be very similar.

He always looks like he's about to say "get off my lawn"

In his early days Corbyn was a vice-chairman for CND, if you remember the 80's you'd remember all those CND hippies at Greenham Common protesting the American Cruise Missiles there. Corbyn would like to the UK to get rid of all its nukes and the obsolete Trident submarine program. If we play dead, don't back up our allies then Russia will never attack us .... he wants out of NATO too. 

Old Knudsen thinks it's ok to have some nukes as a deterrent but not to go nuts like the US. Corbyn has also said he'd like us not to need an army ... why say stupid things like that? I'd like pedos and rapists to stop doing their thing but that ain't gonna happen. We will always need an army, navy and air force cos people are cunts. 

      On his real bike that he's named ... The Destroyer! no not really probably Derek or Mable

He says he isn't a pacifist ... yeah right but voted against the Iraq war and against Syrian airstrikes. It would be good if he could accept how things are and adapt. He thinks he can reason with ISIS and achieve a political peace for fucks sake. Cos religious fanatics are always so easy to reason with

 

Bill Nye the science guy with Creationist and evolution denier Ken Ham

He is against austerity and would like to all those services that were sold off to be returned to the public. He also wants dentists to work for the NHS rather than private firms. 

He fought off two rebellions in his own party. Many in the Labour Party don't agree with him and have tried to oust him. Some of his leftist ideas were too leftist even for socialist Labour.

He has told other politicians to wise up when they attacked him for his scruffy appearance and has refused to sing God save the Queen. He a vegetarian who is more spiritual than religious ... oh so many red flags. 

He's sympathized with terrorists when it wasn't trendy to and all that is scary and shows a lack of judgement especially 5 days after a bombing they just carried out. 

 As like Sanders he has walked the walk

Lets hope that June be the end of May ... Theresa May but if she had thought she would lose she wouldn't have called an election.

The Labour Party is squabbling and keep resigning. Corbyn is weak, vague and seems like he's not fully on board with things. To woo the voter they announced that there should be 4 extra Bank Holidays than there are ... what? Not really a game changer since the Tories have promised free Big Macs money off yer next shop at Tesco. 

Already the fuckwits that voted Green the last time are looking towards the Lib Dems ... so much fail. 

Old Knudsen personally doesn't like Corbyn but he also doesn't like May and the Tories are rightly fucking up this cuntry. Anyone else in the campaign doesn't matter and you are only fooling yourself with other parties. 

Corbyn needs to pull his lazy hippy finger out. A charm offensive. He needs to support the armed forces and police. He needs to talk tough about things and not just what the Tories are up to and he needs cool soundbites that will be repeated. He needs to show the NHS that he has their back. He needs to go to those things that Brits hold dear and show that he loves them too. 

At the moment he's too distant and bleh. He needs photo ops showing him having fun. Yeah reading to kids and breaking some eggs ... very nice and tame, he needs to show he can break heads too. 

 Not the manhole cover you were looking for

May went hiking, he needs to go abseiling .... with mountain rescue or something. The man takes pictures of man hole covers for fucks sake he needs an image make over or you might as well not bother with the election. He's coming up to his 68th birthday 4 days after Old Knudsen's, he needs to show the werld he isn't fucken dead yet. 

He is famous for not spending money but get him to splash out on something nerdy, perhaps he can pretend to like Star Wars or something, he needs to look human and be seen having fun. 

 He can smile

Old Knudsen was wrong about Trump winning and he had hoped his fellow Brit would vote to remain in the EU and to not be bigoted cunts so on my losing streak I'm predicting a Tory win because Labour, nay Corbyn cannot promote himself and there is more to slag the old fart off over than there is to like him for. 

In June vote Labour, because it isn't Conservative and for fucks sake don't throw yer vote away by being clever or tactical.     

Aim To Please Not Shoot To Kill

Jeremy Corbyn who is the leader of UK's Labour party can be compared to Bernie Sanders if Sanders was a weeping pussy douche canoe has said that he is not happy with the UK shoot to kill policy in case of a terrorist attack.

He said it was "quite dangerous and can often can be counterproductive."  Remember in 2005 when Jean Charles da Silva e de Menezes from Brazil was shot 7 times in the head with hollow point bullets by undercover cops in London? .... the other 4 shots missed.

Turned out he wasn't a terrorist nor had anything to do with terrorism ... what a drag huh, that was pretty counterproductive.

The police thought he might have explosives and he was on a train so apart from killing an innocent man they followed procedure for killing a suicide bomber. It's best to get them in a certain part of their head between their eyes on the forehead so if they had a bomb their reflexes wouldn't clench when shot .... that's the theory and is backed up by places like Israel and Indonesia who have had to deal with many bombers.

Corbyn, who is friends with Sinn Fein who really didn't like it when the SAS shot some of their IRA chums thinks that maybe we should arrest the terrorists by politely waiting until they are out of bullets and have gotten rid of their anger, then they will be more agreeable to being arrested and to face justice in court.

Tasers should not be used in case the terrorist has a heart condition. 

We should really remember that the ISholes are victims too and maybe the lack of a strong male role model in their lives have turned them into misogynistic, bigoted psychopaths so after they serve a few months in prison (if they are found guilty) they should then be ordered asked to take some self awareness classes and checked on every fortnight to see how they are doing.

He has a plan for the military too as he thinks that airstrikes in Syria and Iraq will just make people more angry and will not achieve anything.
All guns and rockets will be replaced with paint guns, they will shoot out a calming blue or light purple and thus putting people into a better mood for peace.

 Reality check:

As we have seen from the London bombing, Boston and Paris, these guys will shoot and bomb without any issues to public safety so our people need to be able to do the same to them to avoid further loss of life.

These ISholes probably don't know that much about grand schemes or other plots and once we know them we know their associates so dead or alive .... whatever.

By now you should know that Old Knudsen thinks that if you rob someone else of their humans rights such as rape or murder then you forfeit your own.

These scum brainwash kids to do their killing, these brainwashed kids are victims but now they are killers trained to not hesitate, we shouldn't have to hesitate either.

Corbyn is an idealist more likely to call the scumbag terrorists of the world "freedom fighters" he has no place in a government that has to take on such people. He'd have taken Hitler's word that he wouldn't invade the Hinterland, Corbyn belongs in a cuntry like Sweden, not one that plays on the world stage because the world is a scarey and dangerous place full of nasty people, greet them with a handshake and when it suits them you'll be dead in the desert.    

There should be decent people in government but not ones with their heads up their holes. 



    

Jeremy Corbyn Leaves ISIS

Jeremy Corbyn recently resigned as chairman of the Stop The War Coalition saying that he had to step down in a number of roles after becoming famous as the new leader of the Labour party.

He has also stepped down the Tree huggers against the military group and the Give Ireland back to the Paddys association. He will remain as the PR representative of Hamas UK and will continue writing his weekly column in Hezbollah News.

One surprise move was when he stepped down as deputy chairman of ISIS. As you know ISIS are the brave freedom fighters who are defending their land from infidel invaders, journalists and aid workers. They have been much maligned in the press for just being Muslim. Corbyn has been trying to help them over come the prejudices of the great western crusader war machine and the Zionist puppet masters.

Obviously the west has left them no choice but to fight to defend their oil and freedoms, they are the real victims here.

Corbyn believes that if the UK scraps its nukes and abolishes its military then the rest of the world will respect them and follow suit thus achieving world peace. Much like how Ukraine scrapped its nukes and then was invaded by Russia .... no, that's a bad example. Madagascar doesn't have nukes and no one has ever invaded them.

He also believes that everyone should grow a beard, marry at least 3 times and ride a bicycle. He will also help the British population by banning smoking and drinking and will introduce the vegan lifestyle should he ever become Prime Minister. He promoted vegan Kerry McCarthy to be in charge of farming and agriculture, she has said, "I really believe that meat should be treated in exactly the same way as tobacco, with public campaigns to stop people eating it." 
 

Soon you'll see meat eaters forced to eat meat at tables outside restaurants and standing in shop doorways scoffing a burger before having to go inside, there will be laws about eating a drumstick in yer car if you have kids inside and of course the price of meat will go up even more with pictures of dead animals on the packaging.

He will take religion out of the school curriculum and replace it with political pamphlet making classes. Rapists and Pedos who are victims of society will be given therapy rather than prison, a little kindness and respect goes a long way. 

Luckily not even the British public are stupid enough to vote in an anti-bacon candidate into number 10. They'll turn a blind eye to his anti-monarchy sentiments and his close ties with the IRA and Hamas but bacon is serious. Old Knudsen has shived people in the exercise yard over bacon.   

David Cameron fucked a dead pig's head, he is the leader we need and deserve. If Corbyn ever fucks a packet of rashers he may very well get into number 10, if there is video of it he might even rule the world.

Another politician has stepped down from an important Middle East job. Senator John McCain, the man who became a hero for getting shot down and held prisoner during Nam has left his role as Chairman of the Free Syrian Army training corp. He cited being too busy pushing Navajo off their land for the mining rights back in his home of Arizona to train a bunch of yahoos that stood no chance of winning.

How the fuck is a guy who picks up a gun and beheads what ISIS fighters they capture a moderate anyways? Oh he's just a little bit of a fanatic lets fund him.

US trained Syrian rebels just recently gave six pick-up trucks and a load of their ammunition and their lunch money to the al-Nusra Front this week in exchange for safe passage. That's 25% of the equipment the brave American tax payer gave them. $500 million was given to train 5,000 rebels though the first 54 who graduated were chased away by the nasty al-Nusra front.

The US had the same problem in Iraq, stop training troops to be pussies for fucks sake. Let the Yamam or NAVSOG train them, they're tough vicious cunts, even the Australian SASR would be better. 

Al-Nusra are the Syrian group linked with al-Qaeda but the head of the Free Syrian Forces said that they promised them not to drive the trucks into any American buildings. 

McCain has denounced al-Nursra as bullies and thugs and certainly not 'our' kind of radical, he did pour some praise on the Kurds in Syria .... but not the Kurds In Iraq as he didn't want to upset Turkey. 


  
  

David Cameron Furious

David Cameron is said to be furious because the 5 Sinn Fein members at Westminster (who are elected but refuse to take their seats) somehow got into the Westminster drinks cabinet and ran amok through the hallowed halls of parliament.

Feces was smeared on the walls and Tiocfaidh ár lá was written in Sharpie on the leather benches. "This is exactly why we don't let the Paddys near the drinks cabinet" fumed Cameron. 

DUP politician Sammy Wilson said, "nobody offered me a drink" adding that he would have said "NO" and walked out in line with the policy of his party.   

Gerry Adams the leader of Sinn Fein denied ever having been a member of Sinn Fein and claimed to have no knowledge as to what alcohol is. 

Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland Martin McGuinness condemned the act then suggested that maybe the government was behind the whole thing and was probably responsible for 9/11 too.  

 Jeremy Corbyn 3rd on left with some friends. 6 people 3 cups.

Police aren't sure how they got access to the keys but they won't be charged as you can't blame a volcano for erupting, it's what they do and you can barely see the vomit stains now. Only three people hold keys to the drinks cabinet, David Cameron, the Speaker of the House and the leader of the opposition which is the newly elected Jeremy Corbyn.  

Corbyn was unavailable for comment as he was at a fund raiser for 'Homes for Hamas'  for just £3 a month you can help a Hamas terrorist freedom fighter build a safe new home complete with tunnels to hide their weapons and kidnapped Israelis in. 



 

 

Nigel Farage: Corbyn Stole My Popularity

Earlier this year Neo Nazi Conservative but not Tory misogynistic racist right wing Ukip leader Nigel Farage was 'The man of the people' he smoked, he drank lots of beer and believed in aces in their places, in other words weemen were best suited for the kitchen. The British public loved him and found themselves becoming ever so much more racist, anti-immigrant and ready to make excuses for anything that Nigel or his party said.
Maybe the 1950's were a golden age .... before all the wogs came over that is and was slavery as bad as they made it out to be?
Nigel's popularity shook the general elections but still, people preferred David Cameron as the wanker they wanted in charge and Nigel has mostly vanished from the headlines.

Now with Corbyn mania the same people who were calling for immigrants to be hanged have decided to be wishy washy lefties. Jeremy Corbyn is the next new thing. He's old, he has a hat and he's anti-establishment .... if Old Knudsen was paranoid he'd think that he had a old white male stalker, if he exposes himself to young mothers on the bus then I'm suing.

I know that the British people are supposed to like the underdog but seriously, every fucking underdog that comes around?
I'm a Nazi, Farage knows what he's talking about, I'm a terrorist sympathizer, Corbyn knows what he's talking about.
Can we not find an older white man who isn't at either end of the spectrum to lead this cuntry? Someone that doesn't take shit and who doesn't ride on band wagons.

Yeah ok I may have a bit of a past but most witnesses have been taken care of. I can't werk Tuesday mornings as I see my parole officer or Thursday afternoons as that's my therapist oh and I do the odd shift at a local hospital at weekends, they don't know about it but apart from that I am ready for responsibility, ya can't get any more under the dog than me.

Corbyn got elected as Labour's new leader, you'd think he had won a landslide General election by the way his followers were getting on. I doubt Corbyn will live long enough to see a General election and if he did he'd probably lose it anyways.
To give the last werd to Nigel, "You can't trust Corbyn, he doesn't smoke, he respects people and drinks half pints of shandy, he once had a three way with Gerry Adams and Colonel Gaddafi while Yasser Arafat wanked off in the corner."