Thank You For Serving

Did you know that singer James Blunt was in the British army? Blunt was a captain in the Household Cavalry and served in Canada, Kosovo and stood guard over the dead Queen mother as she lay in state.... nobody dared steal her with Blunt on the job. 

American General Wesley Clark ordered Blunt's unit to attack some Russians at a strategically placed airport but he refused, he was backed up by British General Mike Jackson who said he wasn't going to start world war III. They ended up surrounding the airport until the Russians ran out of food and then the Russians decided it might be nice to share the airport.

Other stars have been in the military that you might be unaware of.

Justin Bieber was in the Canadian Special Incident Tactical Response Hair Unit and has served 3 tours of  Iraq before he had a breakdown with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) now as part of his therapy he traumatizes others with his music.

Katie Holmes is a trained sniper having 87 kills under her belt. She was dishonorable discharged when the ears of her targets were found in her locker, then she married Tom Cruise ..... makes total sense now.

George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Don Cheadle never enlisted. They used their celeb status to drive around looking like soldiers and shooting up villages for fun.

Rhianna was never in the military but plenty of the military have been in her. The Umbrella song was originally called Groundsheet which was her military nickname. 
 

Burt Reynolds served during the 1980's but doesn't like to talk about it.

We Export Death.

Me Velly Slorry wide eyes heh heh heh.

Anyone who knows whats going on in the world (not Americans of course) know the Chinks are plotting to take over the world. Amassing their vast armies of horny males with their under-sized dongs who only know about weemen through the media due to the Chinese breeding program of no gurls they will be more than willing to invade if they are promised some poon tang (a chinese expression) so look out Taiwan you'll be first.

They contaminated numerous medicines, toothpaste, foods and stuffed toys so as they were killing Cuff links they exported them to other cuntries, do I think this was a mistake? fuck no its just picking away at the world they some day hope to invade.

I'm not an alarmist and don't want to cause panic but we're all going to die, well not me cos I'm selling them government secrets, don't worry its the Polish government so who cares?
To make sure I don't get poisoned I'm off my meds, don't brush my teeth, only eat bad British food like fish and chips and curry and no longer do I snuggle with Mr Woogle.

I'm on ta ya you inscrutable looking shites so watch yer step.

New Memeber? No I Just Washed IT.

If you get freaked out just think of it like keeping fish in an aquarium. Second from the left wearing the nipple clamps is Artie, hes a director for Oxfam, his machine is the Glisen 2000 mk 7, a lovely model, hes even let me try it out the odd time what a gent.

I get lots of e-mails from various people from all walks of life and a common thread they share is wondering what I do on the average Thursday afternoon.

Thankyou all for asking. After a few hours as a life coach at the Well being clinic I head off to a gentleman's club, no don't go thinking its some kind of sick strip joint its not. Its a club of Extraordinary Gentlemen all with a shared interest, penis enlargement.



Wipe doon equipment after use, sometimes you'll get the odd case of crabs but this poor fellow caught bees instead.

If you go round the interweb you'll notice that everyman claims to be better hung than Dick Turpin (a famous highway man for you yanks that was hanged) no one says how their willy is the size of a tiny birthday cake candle, well Bock said that once in one of his posts and I have respected his honesty every since.


I of course have a giant penis that could satisfy a Plough horse, MJ will testify to that but there is always room for improvement, the Americans always say bigger is better as they put away 8 Quarter pounders with cheese and a large diet coke.




And this is the real reason why the world hates America. This is Chip from the US chapter of our club, hes one of the younger members. My American dream is to be as big and as conceited as a Yank.

Don't judge because we aren't interested in the footie or stamp collecting, we are interested in our Dongs, its perfectly normal. Weemen are allowed in as guests under certain conditions, strange but we don't get many visitors.