On A 5 Year Mission To Get His Hole

Kirk: "I'm lost and confused ........... IIIIIII feel like Space porn just isn't exciting .................. enoughformyneeds ................... andeveryoneonboard .................. knows .................. meandstays .................. away."

Scotty: " In my humble and always correct opinion captain you've been masturbating so much yer turning Japanese I really think so."

Spock: " There is this new girl on deck 4 why don't you ask her out Captain?"

Kirk: "Justlike ........ asillyfemale .......... ofcourseitsnotdangerous .................. intherighthands ........... butafterwatching.............. Die Hard................ Iwantsomeaction .................... thenIwantsomeaction."

Kirk: " Areyousure ............... sheis ......................... dead? ........................ Ionlyhaditsetforexplode."

Dr McCoy: "Shes dead Jim!"

Spock: "You've said that 12 times Doctor oy veh enough already I'm trying to think. Captain did anyone see you leave with her?"


Kirk: " Bonesits ................. okshesretarded ........... orsomething."

Scotty: " Ach where is the captain my hemorrhoids are itching and I was going to spend quality time with wee Scotty junior."

Kirk: "Yes little Angus I have a surprise for you."

Dr McCoy: " Its worse than that hes ten Jim."

Spock: " No more humans Captain too many questions are asked. Logic dictates you need something like this."

Kirk: "Yuck alien sex?"


Kirk: "Soundslikefun ............... lets do it."


Spock: "Keep that thing the fuck away from me ."

Kirk: "No you yeti unicorn I get to be on top."

Scotty: "I'll teach that bastard, Obama go take this to the Captain."


Kirk: "Itoldyou .............. redshirts ............. nevertostandnearme ............... especiallyyou ......... Obama ................ you'rereally ............. askingforit.


Kirk: " Aplanetfullof ............. hotgreenchicks ................ soundsgoodSpock ............. Doctor ..... howis ............... Sulucomingalong?"

Dr McCoy: " I know it burns but you'll be cured of homosexuality in no time."

Sulu Thinking: 'Who could have told?'


Sulu: "Yes my eyes have been opened to what is normal and I find women attractive but I'm still a racist so fluck off before I scratch your eyes out bitch, its people like you who vote yes on prop 8........ not that I care."




Kirk: "Nowthats ........ whatIlike."

Leering Crew: "Oh yeah baby, uh huh."

Green Woman: "This planet is Bean flicker 4 we don't need or want men."

Kirk: "ButI .................................................................. needsomepussy."


Green Woman: "We have lots of pussy to spare in exchange for penis shaped objects like dildos and vibrators."

Kirk: "The irony turns ........................ myballs............................ blue."

Spock: " I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this but you can borrow my salt vampire with the blow job lips, she really gets your Pon Farr going as long as she controls those teeth."

Kirk: "Dude.................... youarethe ..................... bestfriendever ................. letspartylikeits .............. 2159.


ED: " Hey Shaun mate ah sir, can I light up a fag in here or what you twat?"


Sulu: " A fag? Thats FABULOUS!"