Big Wiily Wanker

People have been complaining that I have had that prick posted for too long, well here is another one for you. You can tell by his head hes been circumcised a few times too many.
I was flicking the channels on the telly after a had days work doon pit and I saw Steven Seagul in some film. He was in a SUV being driven by a woman now I'm no sexyist I don't mind the weemen driving from time to time as long as they know how to handle a stick and don't mine going fast.

Mr Seagul had his long head out the windy and he was busting off some caps at some fools in a car that was chasing him.

My readers should know by now that Old Knudsen is a deadly weapon. I've been trained by the best to keel people, animals and vending machines using everything and anything from a felt tip pen to a wee plastic bag closing implement you'd find on a loaf of bread, I don't think they are important enough to had a name of their own.

I live, fight and sometimes soil myself on the edge which is why I got totally outraged when Seagul kept blinking his eyes every time he shot his gun. You can't hit anything when you keep closing yer eyes lad.
Just like films where you have a woman as the hero beating up men and dodging bullets or a boy wizard fighting off a big mystical snake that spits out its blinding venom at him. It just doesn't happen.

Weemen, boys and men who are afraid of loud bangs should just stay out of the way when the action goes doon.
Another thing that bothered me was when the woman driving Mr Seagul crashed as weemen are prone to do and sat there probably dead (I didn't watch it all as it was shite) Seagul left the scene of the accident which in my view is setting a bad example to children watching it.

I'm sure even the bad guys chasing him would have a time out until the police came and accessed the damage for insurance purposes .



Speaking of guns as I like to do I got this 9 mm mobile phone. I'm still not used to it and have two head wounds to prove it. I knew I shouldn't have given me Ma the number shes always calling me to tell me what a disappointment I turned out to be, I mean in life not in the sexual arena, there I am Maximus desimus Meridian commander of the armies of the north cock smith extraordinaire.

Remember its not guns that kill people its Americans in cars on their mobile phones with their foo foo dogs on their lap that kill.


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