Let sleeping poo pirates lie
I just wanted to tell you about an excuse for phoning in sick a guy I worked with once used. His sister was probably the inspiration for "don't run with scissors" and "you'll put yer eye out" because once when they were kids she chased him with a pair of scissors and did indeed put his eye out.John's dreams of joining the police or military were dashed which is how he ended up working with me in Tillyman's fish and chip shop.
He phoned up the manager and told him that his glass eye fell out and smashed.
Funny how these unfortunate things happen on Saturday nights. The manager was stunned and didn't suggest an eye patch or ping pong ball as he didn't want to sound like a cunt.
True story. I wonder if you fucked an empty eye socket would yer jizz alter the brain and make the other person/animal more like you? something to think about.
True story. I wonder if you fucked an empty eye socket would yer jizz alter the brain and make the other person/animal more like you? something to think about.
Knowing I was incontinent of North America a Blogger who shall remain nameless rushed over to have her wicked way with me.I just want to thank her for those special 3 minutes of bliss (yes we did it twice) and for removing her teeth as she knows how much I miss the lovely ladies of Killamory.
Being an immigrant I qualify for all sorts of benefits as paid by the tax payer and am already close to my first million.
They aren't used to Scots or other semi civilised people so the bored beaner lady which is a term here for Mexicans (I suppose its like 'bean flicker' a term for a leezer) was taking my details and thought UK meant the Ukraine, we did have a chuckle and she never knew how close to death she came for thinking I could possibly be a Slav.
Look whats doon the road from me, those fucking Slavs are everywhere.
9 comments:
....... the answer to that is easy: it would give birth to consciousness, and that depending on just how much room there is to protract.
Knudsen, the thoughts of you with a pregnant head is quite frightening.
Anyway!
What was I going to say? O yes.
I'll be over for tea this afternoon, if you don't see me cumin' you'll hear me.
One way or the other; keep an eye out for me.
There's a good man.
See you later Knuds.
One lump or two and I'm out of milk will cream do? or do you mean dinner ya cheeky bugger?
Is that Boxer's merkin that the pirate's wearing?
Last night (true story) I dreamed I had Old Knudsen tattooed on the sole of my foot.
MJ- You're the one who needs the razor today. And I believe YOU are the North America Blogger who's looking for their teeth right now, right?
Is that a couple of their women showing their underarms out the window?
Wow........
Knudsen, you are such a stud. Your so popular these days, even here in Texas.......I met another Blogger at Starbucks yesterday and she and her sister adore you!!....You're the first name they mentioned and it doesn't surprise me....
Underarms?
Or bush?
MJ yer dream means that you know I own yer sole.
A Boxer nice distraction, point the finger at MJ.
Lceel ach you know about those slav weemen, I'd ride them but I wouldn't thank them for it.
kimberly I'd say I was flattered but it was Texas, they probably have never seen a real man like me.
MJ you bring politics into everything.
LOL......yeah You've got a point,there.....most men here are babies...(in the rookie sense of the word)....real men seem to be just a dream to women like me....
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