The Bane Of The Work Place

Oh look a customer who needs help, now they all play chicken to see who will break first and go to help them.

Ever wonder why the cunts at work who skive off for tea and smoke breaks every 10 minutes or come into work late every day never get fired? It really bends my shite cos I've got that Protestant work ethic thing going on as opposed to the Catholic work ethic who think buggering young boys is a good days work or that Jewish work ethic who think that leveling a Palestine raghead toon because some wanker sent a bottle rocket into Israel is a job well done.
Here are some reasons why Johnny Smoke-Break never gets sacked.


1. The employee has a relationship with someone higher up.
Ha Ha the boss is my dad I could have you fired, or they are giving the president head to get a head. I knew this cunt who got in with the manager through the ghey sport of golf.

2. The boss relies on the employee.
When the boss relies on Sammy 12 Shites a day they overlook things that go wrong and blame it on other things beyond the employee's control.

Those bastards who blog from work then complain that I get them fired because of the dirty sick perverted pictures I post, its called work not blog, you know who you are.

3. The employee brings more value to the company than he or she costs.
The slacker may only appear slack but is a brilliant worker. They get their job done and waste yer time but hey their work is done and its perfect.

4. The boss thinks it could be worse.
When I worked at Frederick and sons of Inveraray. A distributor and retailer of paint and paint products. We had this guy called Jim who would steal everything and give his mates free orders, after he was fired we got this guy who was nicknamed 'The Moron' for fucks sake what a dopey shite and he was ginger, no redeeming qualities at all.

5. The boss is afraid of the employee.
You always have an office bitch that even the bosses pussy foot around. There was an office manager named Mona, fitting name cos all she did was yap and moan. She came in late everyday, left early and when the showroom was robbed she had 3 months paid leave to get over the trauma and didn't have to work the showroom (which she hated) again, no one else got leave. Not just the mouthy types but you also have to watch out for the ones that will sue you. A crap worker maybe but they know all the ins and outs of unfair dismissal.

6. The boss feels sorry for the employee.
Maybe the employee has family trouble, money problems or is supporting someone with bad health.

Manager about to fire an employee:
" I need to talk to you about the order that went to Aberdeen and yer job performance in general."

Employee: " I know I've not been too great over the last 2 years but with my parents dying, my wife getting a brain tumour the dog getting run over in front of the kids who are in therapy which costs a fortune and the mold found in my house that is haunted by poltergeists and having just getting over my pain medication addiction I'm just so grateful that you've been so understanding, you've been great and I hope I can make you proud of me with the faith you have put in me."

Manager about to cry: "well do yer best and try to pay a bit more attention I know its tough for you and um good luck now get back to work or is it time for yer doctors prescribed power nap?"

7. The boss doesn't want to go through the hiring process.
Reviewing applications, conducting interviews, checking references, and training new people. Just shout at the middle management more, life is such a chore when there is golf to be played. I had a boss who would rather have bad customer service and poor quality product than a high labour cost, they aren't in business anymore.

Typical orifice party or maybe its just knocking off time, nice bored expressions.

8. The employee knows something.
Blackmail from Christmas parties or as I do I'd hide stuff or information so when someone didn't know what to do or where something was I would appear indispensable when I solve the problem.

9. The employee has everybody fooled.
Sociopaths are everywhere or at least fit the Sociopathic profile. These employees are pathological liars who get away with doing little or no work. They charm senior management with their "leadership potential," con co-workers into covering for them, and successfully blame others for their mistakes. If you're the only one who sees what they're up to, you're in a tough spot. Sometimes it's the whistle-blower who gets fired, not the snake.
I can read people pretty well so I'm always finding these scum bags and it is difficult to out them, the trick is to shine a light on their activities and show others so therefore they are disarmed and can't fool anyone. I did it with my spammers and loyalties split doon the middle but its hardly my fault people want to see others in a nice light and refuse to believe they are lying cunts. Like husbands they balance their lies with a front of normality, they may abuse the wife in private and treat her like shit but the outside world only sees the nice person ready to help anyone. Most people on-line I don't even bother to read or profile as it gets boring playing the 'I'm fooling you game.'


10. He or she is not really a bad employee.

So what if a co-worker sometimes works from home, takes long lunches, or does something else you don't think is fair as long as their work gets done.

If you're not the supervisor, you're not personally affected, and the employee is not hurting anyone such as customers or co-workers, gurn up and stop stressing over what he or she does and focus instead on your own work.

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