Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Obama's No Fucks To Give Roadshow

In America we have freedom, we fought another George and we'll fight you too if we have to. 

Obama came over to the UK on his 'fuck you all I've handed in my notice and don't give a shit' tour. He met with the Queen who had to tell Philip to be quiet when he asked 'What ungo bongo country are you from?' Poor Phil, after years of being the undead he still hangs on to those old prejudices.  
He met with William and Kate who of course had to wheel out George the robot boy. Yeah yeah yeah cute kid, just wait till he gets older and his body stops growing hair on his head and puts all that energy into making his nose a foot long. 

All new Royals are made from 200 year-old sperm from Prince Albert. Queen Victoria loved Albert's cock and had 9 kids herself so she made him give lots of specimens which is what probably killed him. 

Obama did Cameron a solid by breaking the hearts of all those morons patriots that dream of having an empire again .... even though we cut our military to nothing and have been kicked out of most cuntries. 

The people that want to leave the European Union talk about how they'll renegotiate all trade agreements especially with the US. Obama said that maybe you'd like to hear what the President of the US thinks about that. 
He told it straight that the UK will have no influence once it leaves the world's largest economy and that any trade deals with the US will take like 10 years because fuck you Britain, to the back of the queue with you, yes behind Zimbabwe. 

 Who cares what Obama thinks, who put him in charge?

We have always said the Americans were rude, pushy and self entitled but that's describing the people that think they can renegotiate trade deals .... uh we'll just buy from any of the EU nations, they do stuff for way cheaper than you do, it's called competitive pricing.   

What does the UK have that everyone wants so badly? We buy coal from the US we get steel from China. Even Sherlock and Dr Who are shite now. Game of Thrones is only shot in Northern Ireland because we give them tax breaks and money, otherwise they'd be shooting in some Eastern Bloc cuntry, we can barely compete as a part of the EU. 

The land of Shakespeare. 

We just don't like the Germans, that's why. Yeah isn't Brussels in Germany? We fought the Germans twice (Americans and Russians may have helped) and we don't want to become just another part of the United States of Europe .... bloody foreigners and their fucking human rights and fair labour laws, fuck them with their high standards. We're British, we'll take any old shite and be grateful cos we know our place. 

Maybe we could bring back rationing, hanging and outlaw gheys ... women don't do as they are told so lets take away their right to vote and make them have babies if they are raped cos you know they were just asking for it anyways.   

If you are for leaving the EU I respect yer opinion, aye it may be stupid and you may be stupid for having it but I respect stupid people .... just changed my mind, please kill yerself and stop wasting air. 

Look at that fat headed cunt, I could have him killed and dumped at sea. 

Speaking of stupid people. Cameron can't be too friendly with Obama because what if Trump got elected? I bet Trump would give us some tremendous deals. As well as building a resort in Scotland he has been asked to rebuild Hadrian's wall to keep the English out if they want to leave the EU. Trump will make the Sassenach's pay for it, lets hope he gives us a good deal on those bricks. 


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