Saturday, 7 November 2015

Trust Me I'm The Doctor

Ben Carson is a man of great learning, this man can take a set of conjoined twins and surgically hack away at them until they are separated. He can scan a diseased brain then pop open the head and cut out what doesn't look right ... he's amazing.

He backs up his academic learning with his faith. Nothing like watching the story of the Bible on the History channel and applying that ancient wisdom into present day life. Can we not store grain and use it for people on foodstamps? The ancient Egyptians stored their grain in the pyramids, maybe we should look into building those.
If you take all your dull razor blades and scalpels and also store those inside the pyramids they will become sharp again within days .... all due to the Prisemic structure that causes electro magnetic waves to flow up and down it. The grain will also multiply which is how Jesus made the loaves and fishes last between 5,000 hungry people .... he had pyramid shaped lunch boxes which were all the rage back then.

Back in the day Ben Carson led a violent street gang known as the Park avenue surgeons, he stabbed people with knives and beat them with hammers and knocked over two dollar dime stores ... for the dimes.

None of his friends remember any of this but what do they know?

Carson turned his life around and was so good at marching in the ROTC that he was offered a scholarship to West Point .... no records of the scholarship exist but instead of a top surgeon he could have been a top General.

There are no records of him having been to medical school either but it says so in his autobiography so it must be true. In the late 80's he was a special adviser to Ronald Reagan, he advised Reagan to sell weapons to everyone in the Middle East so as to not cause bad feelings and thinks that the current troubles could have been avoided. In order to be safe everyone should all have guns, it's in the Bible. The Jews during the Holocaust should have known this so technically they let Hitler kill them but lets not go there, some folks get touchy about this topic, you know what "those people" can be like. 

Known as the surgeon to the stars he's done a fair share of frontal lobotomies to help with self esteem and weight loss he is attributed with having helped the Back street boys become werld famous though they don't recall meeting him, a side effect of a lobotomy.

It turns out that the GOP candidates are yet again top trolls and don't even want to be president. Well played Dr Carson, you had us thinking you were a complete moron , only Donald Trump and his Stephen Colbert ultra Conservative impression can make for a better voter troll.        

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