Monday, 14 April 2014

Waiting For Ragnarok

 Fucking birds, I'll show you angry, I'll show you yer doom!

Sooo post number 3351 ..... I'm running out of ideas, lets talk about our feelings. Old Knudsen feels unappreciated, let doon, betrayed, alone and maybe his Da could have hugged him more, oh and Old Knudsen's pussy is bleeding ..... fuck I hate cats.

Away an fuck, Old Knudsen is as cold as a forgotten about cup of tea, feelings are for the weak, snap out of it!
What happened with yon Ragnarok experts who said the world would end on 22nd February 2014? fuck all happened. There was a meteorite explosion over Arkansas and some floods in England but no Wolf named Skoll devouring the sun nor did Fenrir the wolf break free from his invisible chains . The winter wolf Hati did not eat the moon.

 I'm freeeee!
No wolves at all as far as I remember. Jormungand the world serpent did not battle Thor causing the seas to bubble and churn. Fenrir did not fight Odin, finally swallowing him then was beat to death by Odin's son Vidar.  Lots of swallowing, wrestling with snakes and beating the wolf ..... sounds more like Pentecostal than Norse. 

The gigantic hound Garm didn't fight a one handed bloke named Tyr, to the death. The giant Surt did not go around flinging fire like a monkey with a handful of it's own feces. The earth didn't sink and burn with brother fighting against brother and all morality gone.

No wait, that was a Saturday. I had this lovely lass over for tea and chess, no morality in sight on that night ..... Ka - Chow! 

A couple of deep water Oarfish washed up in Callyfornia , nothing for Snorri Sturluson to write home about. 
Yes all of that was no doubt a disinformation exercise paid for by Heinz who as I've told you before spread rumours of the end of the world so people stock up on cans of beans. 

Old Knudsen is onto them, Secretary of State John Kerry going around the world with his wife Teresa Heinz Kerry .... aye of the bean fame bringing the world to the brink of WWIII just to sell beans. 

Last week Old Knudsen went on the attack via the Hoose of Lords. He got his pal Labour peer Viscount Simon to ask about the impact human baked bean emissions are having on climate change.

Aye that'll shake you up, if I said about the end of the world stocking up that would just sound crazy and who would take that seriously? even though it's true! 

The UK has the largest production and consumption of baked beans in the world, not because we love the taste but because we're paranoid fuckers, oh and we're lazy and hate our kids, when yer children are nagging you to get out of bed cos they want dinner or something cuntish like that you can just throw a can at them ...... dinner sorted and if you hit them you'll get something to smile about.


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