Friday, 18 May 2012

Blogging Tips For Dummies

You all know that Old Knudsen does not like to brag. Being the greatest blogger in the world isn't him bragging its him stating fact.
Over the years his blogging fortunes have cum and gone, nearly 2000 posts later and ya know what? Old Knudsen still doesn't give a fcuk.

How to be the greatest blogger in the world without really trying:

Start around 2006 and don't listen to what anyone says about you. If you can't time travel then yer weak and deserve a harsh mocking. Old Knudsen survived a spam campaign a legal letter sent to Blogger from the Diocese of Leeds....Nemesis! and a terrible dose of crabs. Some people you meet  are beyond help and so must die...... its nature.

When you get an audience do not bend to their will or try to please them. All Old Knudsen heard was "More naked weemen" and " I only read this shit for the tits." Old Knudsen does not do requests, post what matters to you.

Hanging baskets and nature is what matters to Old Knudsen.     

Keep it real and post about family. Show yer a real person with real feelings, too many fake people on the Interweb these days. If Old Knudsen was fake would he be on Facebook and Twitter? well I don't really Twat much anymore as I don't have a cellulite phone ......... they can track you with them ya know. Doing Twatter updates like, 'getting ready to type a post and then surf some porn' #yerma  gets a bit repetitive after a while. 

If in doubt then steal something that someone else has done. The Interweb is like a big library but instead of giving away free books it gives away ideas ....... oh and music and movies. Old Knudsen's shit has turned up all over the place. Its like an unspoken agreement Old Knudsen will download free TV shows instead of paying for cable and the stars of those shows can copy things like this.

Don't be afraid to re-post a great picture in case someone missed it. Those kippers were delicious BTW.

The enemy is apathy and injustice if yer not with me yer against me and there won't be a seat on the mother ship for ya.  If Old Knudsen got a reaction/erection whatever from you then good news, yer still alive. 

If you have love in yer life you should share it. Old Knudsen is a sex,drug,rock 'n' roll, tobacco,alcohol and firearms addict its an illness so there. Don't judge him for he needs love, young firm bodied love.... over 18 - ish, still alive or at least warm and consensual if possible.

If in doubt fill yer posts with words like sex dolls, titty ranch, hot lunch, dirty Sanchez, cum on my face, midget sex, fisting firemen and Hillary Clinton naked.

 Believe Old Knudsen its worth seeing.
Even if you can't be great at least you'll get traffic from the search engines.


1 comment:

Kinky Kelly said...

I only come here for the fish recipes but these blogging tips are really helpful! Thanks so much seƱor.