Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Iceland Exports Ash

Jack looks more worried than usual. He knows the island needs him but hes fucked if hes gonna eat pished on sheep eye balls or horse dumplings.


Iceland a nation of 320,000 people and a land of contradiction no maybe it isn't. Once invaded by the British then passed round to the Yanks like the village bike they people are a happy lot prone to knitting , alcoholism and axe throwing . An interesting diet of sheep arse lips and rotten fish has the average Icelander living to the ripe old age of 58 and when an Icelander dies all of the 320,000 people who are all related cum out to see his longboat sail out in a blaze of flames.

Speaking of flames the volcano under the Eyjafjallajokull glacier has erupted causing melting ice and smegma to gush doon and flood lowland areas. Hundreds of people and sheep have been evacuated . The other concern is the Katla volcano under the vast Myrdalsjokull ice cap which might blow too.

If fact Old Knudsen believes it will since that eruption with disrupt air traffic between Europe and North America.
Anything that can go wrong with me getting to my homeland will happen, hey Jesus had it tough too ................. not that I'm saying Old Knudsen is Jesus, I'm no stupid long haired sandal wearing hippy.
If someone smacks you on the cheek you don't turn the other one you put yer guard up and knock 10 shades of shit out of them, if you let folk push you around you'll end up listening to the voices in yer head and get tortured to death.

Pall Einarsson, a geophysicist at the University of Iceland, said "Hertigertum hiddle fergun snatsum." Well said sir.

I hope my Northern Muse peep is faring her economy and island collapsing, it really does soon like Ireland just throw in some pedos .............. into the volcano I mean. Keep an eye on the horizon for longboats just in case 320,000 vikings have to go somewhere.

15 comments:

Princess said...

Dear Mr Knudsen,

For a moment i thought you said...

"Hundreds of people and sheep have been ejaculated"

Sorry my mistake...

northern musings said...

Sweet KnĂștur, if the prevailing winds continue as they are you will at least be able to reach Iceland from the US, it´s only then a matter of catching the next long boat to Dublin.

Cathy said...

Iceland in the Permean Extinction was blowing its top all the time, hence thousands of wondrous fossils still being found. You know about fossils, right? Old stuff left over from another age - hm. Sounds like me, the eternal hippie. Love your new pic on fb, you handsome boy.

Heff said...

...and I thought the title said Iceland Exports ASS.

Sorry.

donn said...

Iceland should see if Greenland still wants to swap for a while.

Icelanders all look identical..and their shortass horses are funny.
If those f'n volcanos don't stop soon all European Air Travel will be cancelled..so the USA will have to get all Armageddon on their medieval island and NUKE IT to stop it from ruining Earth.

It's only 320,000 people, they could all moce to California and nobody would bat an eye because there are lots of albinos there already.

mago said...

No fucking vikings in Franconia. NAd by the way: We invented axe-throwing.

Bob Mac said...

I love your blog, but if you're right in the head I know where there's a fucking house full.

Bavarian Orange Order said...

Mago, you are wrong. Axe throwing was invented by the good people of Marktl am Inn, in Upper Bavaria. For more info, see here:
http://www.marktl.de/en/tourismus_marktl.php

mago said...

Bavarian Orange
Eh? Let me make one thing clear. Franconians do not care for something Bavarian. We do not understand their language, we do not like their beer, we sneer at them and vice versa.
Our Free Cities of the Reich became Protestant from 1517 onwards and the Duke of Coburg, my birthplace, was the one who protected Luther while he did what had to be done.
Do you seriously nurture the idea that any serious grown up Franconian individual gives a fart about the bishop of Rome?
Sorry, Bavarian Orange, we simply do not care.

By the way, I heared the professor Ratzinger in Regensburg at one or two occasions, and he is a very feasible intellectual, if you go down the orthodox roman-catholic way, he's even witty and warm-hearted. He grew up in the system, lived in it, made carriere in it - what do you expect? I do not throw a stone at him, let alone a Francisca.

Reggie said...

Looks like the Earth has the hot vicious farts..........don't it?!?

Reggie said...

The only thing I have to compare to this is the time I had Thai food, it was hot going in and hot coming out!!!

Bavarian Orange Order said...

Mago, the point remains true, though - The people of Marktl invented axe throwing.
As for the bit about Protestantism - most of the Lutheran Pastors down here are from Franconia.
Ratzinger may be an intelligent theologian, but he is best suited to being an eminence grise. He is a crap front-man who made too many enemies in the past as head of the Inquisition.

mago said...

Bavarian Orange Order - I went through the whole damn site of Markl and found no axe. Where is it?

Bavarian Orange Order said...

I might have lied, Mago. But at least you are now more familiar with Bavaria's Bethlehem.

mago said...

If you hear a woush and feel a knock, that's a Francisca knocking your head off ...