Sunday, 12 July 2009

Unsexy Sunday

By the power of Christ I compel you!

I don't fancy yers much!

Not forgetting Ian Paisley who has been keeping Satan at bay since 1969.

Sure l'm an Ulster Orangeman, from Erin's isle I came,
To see my British brethren all of honour and of fame,
And to tell them of my forefathers who fought in days of yore,
That I might have the right to wear, the sash my father wore!

It is old but it is beautiful, and its colours they are fine
It was worn at Derry, Aughrim, Enniskillen and the Boyne.
My father wore it as a youth in bygone days of yore,
And on the Twelfth I love to wear the sash my father wore.

Ach its just too moving to continue. Today is the Glorious 12th celebrating the battle of the Boyne 1690 in which God blessed the Protestants by sending his angels to defeat the evil demon hordes from the hell rift known as Southern Ireland.

Well thats how the story goes in Big Ian's church of the poisoned mind and Old Knudsen believes it.

How to spot a demon:

Eyes too close together.
Smells like rotten fish and cabbage.
Says begora and top 'o' the mornin.
Listens to diddly-eye music.
Refuses to wear a condom.
Has a forked tail.
Dresses in fashions from 30 years ago.
Thinks Bobby Sands is a hero.
Eats babies, puppies and kittens.

3 comments:

The Hangar Queen said...

Don't forget the Oath of Allegiance to the Republic.

It won't hurt a bit....mostly.

TROLL Y2K said...

Nobody really cares. Except perhaps those people in your imagination who keep telling you "I'm Irish".

Selchie said...

Ach I know I always say it but you're a funny bugger.

Who knew you were a Boy George fan.
You come and go, you come and goooo... sounds like he stole old knuddies motto.

Happy days,

Sarah))