Friday, 3 July 2009

Celebs Are Cunts

Johnny Depp is a cunt! At a Chicago restaurant called Gibsons Steakhouse Depp with director Michael Mann , co-star Marion Cotillard and a few others rolled in at 11.30pm to eat.

No that is not the most cuntish thing as the poor staffers just want to go home after serving celebs all day who we know are like rich toddlers, "Waiter my ice water is cold".

They sat around until 2.30am which still is not the most cuntish thing to do. The bill was $4,400 and Depp gave the waiter a $4,000 tip.

Yes we all know most actors don't even finish school and are not the brightest puppy in the blender and to be honest Old Knudsen does not do percentages but then again he doesn't tip either as cunts who wait get paid.

The most cuntish thing was not funding Al Qaeda as the waiter's name was Mohammed A. Sekhani.

The most cuntish thing is that it became news and now waiters are expecting thousand dollar tips. If you thought they were arrogant cunts before just wait until they wait.

Depp is 46 why start tipping now? Too much expensive wine maybe. $4,000 for a bloke to fill his glass and now everyone thinks hes cool? Well hes not cos some little orphaned kitten in Africa could have used that money for a tail operation.

He is pished and rich I know I always have 4 grand on me in case I need to pay outrageous over time.

Oh look at me I get payed millions to do crap Disney pirate films, yo ho ho I've sold out me hearties.

Tim Burton just did a crap and he wants you to be in it Mr Depp.

Courtney Love seems to be in a good place these days, that good place would be on top of a mirrored table making snow angels with needles sticking out from between her toes.

As you can see by this picture Amy Winehoose looks positively glowing compared to Courtney.

Is Old Knudsen the only person in the world who is sick of seeing Kim Kardashian in a bikini?

There are more worthwhile stories in the world such as the little reported Sting-ray attacks, yes after the whole Steve Erwin thing died doon they started up with their guerrilla tactics again. This one was caught while filming a wildlife show, it is against the rules of drama to aid any of the prey in these shows and so while you have yer dinner you can enjoy the slaughter.

For fucks sake not again. I do bet her poop tastes delicious though. I'm so sick of seeing her half naked I may very well do a week of posts about the subject.


Donn said...

Depp could have left the waiter 5 crisp 100's and then posed together for a picture
..who would have told the story for the rest of his life?

Nobody has EVER said that Celebs were smart.

Old Knudsen said...

Too many celebs these days, you shag a hoor or shoot yer wife and write a cook book about eating her and you becum a celeb.

I suppose you don't need to be smart with an arse like Kim's.

Xmichra said...

I would have stuck around for free. It's depp!! Celebs are cunts, but are loved all the same.