Tuesday, 7 July 2009

Advice For The Bros

Some men know fuck all about weemen and so the Lard has sent his favourite fallen doon and I cannot get up Angel to help them.

Weemen like strength and will admire you when you make all their decisions for them such as what to wear what not to eat cos they are already fat you get the idea.

They also like vulnerability, crying about seal cubs is a good one as no one really expects you to go up there and shout insults at the men who make a living out of clubbing. Peter Stringfellow can be seen around London a lot so giving him a punch in the back of the head will endear you to anyone.

Sexual role play can be exciting I wear a Star trek outfit and set me phaser to rough sex.

Weemen also respect a man who is family orientated so living with yer Ma is cool and besides anyone who moves out of a place with cheap rent and a free servant is an idiot Old Knudsen didn't have a choice as it was his Ma that moved out while he was sleeping. Someday I will get her real address.

Don't over think things, when a woman says forgetting her birthday is no big deal then its cool. If she acts like she is angry just ignore that as it is no doubt weemen's problems the fairer sex are quite similar to canines as they need food and water every other day and will lick peanut butter off yer testicles. Also if you commit to them you'll need to get a license.

"Honesty is the best policy" that was said by Harry Truman in 1936 and as true today as it ever was and if you can't trust the president who won world war II and disliked US Marines (trouble makers) then who can you trust?

When a woman asks does this dress make her ass look fat? without hesitation say "No!" this will please her greatly and a further piece of constructive criticism about how her ass is fat no matter what will no doubt be respected.

I hope this clears things up for you men out there who can't get dates and even get turned doon by hookers.

If in doubt Old Knudsen is qualified to handle counseling and divorce. For reasonable rates contact him at yousaidwhat@dopemail.com


Donn said...

I didn't know any of that..seriously and I'm like 50!
Things are gonna be different around here starting..

I can't right now Honey I'm blogging

tomorrow I am putting my foot down and..

I don't know where it is I didn't use it Dear

we'll see who wears the pants around here..

Okay I'll be right there

man oh man is she in for a big surprise!

Old Knudsen said...

She'll luv you more for it, I know i do.