Monday, 18 May 2009

Where Was I?

After dying from the pig plague I was feeling a little low so I took some time off and went and visited The Deli Lima for some advice. He said, "Old Knudsen you are lost and jaded and may have actually slipped doon to the 4th or 5th best blogger in the world, do not blog for others ask yerself why do you blog?"
The question, "Why the fuck do you still blog Old Knudsen?" has been asked by many.

I've over complicated things and stretched myself too thin. Why put on other blogs that no one reads anyway the things I could be putting here? It is about Old Knudsen after all and if you want to taste his gravy then lick his spoon but he chooses the flava.

Old Knudsen has a very limited time at blogging because there are victims to be stalked and worlds to be saved and who the fuck will go and get me shoppin?

The deli Lima gave Old Knudsen some things to do to heal his soul that is 3 sizes too small.

Old Knudsen walked bare foot along the beach, fucking hypodermics and glass all over the place.

Not to mention washed up sea monsters but thats enough about Rosy O'Donnell . Old Old Knudsen would have said yer ma but that is disrespectful, ah fuck it thats enough about yer ma.

I had to introduce myself to a hot woman I've never meet before and seduce her. Well I managed to say hello before her boyfriend came back but I was well in there for a moment.

I had to get into a fight with Joe the plumber as that is where a lot of me anger is coming from. Joe really doesn't like you talking to his gurlfriends on the beach.

I was told to fix something I have regretted about my past. The truth burned me up so I went over to the planet of the apes and told Galen that I was really the father of his son. Sure they may be getting a divorce and all but I do feel better, the truth does set you free.

I had to end the legal wranglings and do a third film as Ward Bronze a secret agent quantity surveyor. I survey the 'tit' in quantity.

I had to go to a tatoo parlor and get ancient runes and signs of peace tattooed on my body. I left it up to the tattoo artist mostly as it was a trust experiment. He asked me what made me happy so I said a sex slave and care bears. I didn't know he was going to write it on me fuck its rough on the old nipple. Turned out quite nice in the end I thought, very ancient , mysterious and peaceful.

He told me to express my bitterness in dance so I unsuccessfully tried to help Albania win the Eurovision song contest. I gave it my all and cap-less.

All this started to make me age backwards but as usual it only lasted for a painful 4 hours.

I'm back and I'm cooler than fuck. I don't care if no one likes me playing the Sound of music at 4am at full blast, I shall do what I like cos I don't care man and that makes me cool.

I have some very good ideas about what to do about Maria.

I'd like to thank MJ for letting me eat her ya ya, it was a lovely gesture during my time of death and transition. Unlike those other cunts that read me..


MJ said...

Are you taking fashion tips from Canada’s Don Cherry now?

Istvanski said...

Mmmm, that cake looks creamy.

Just Another Faceless Commenter said...

I had to get into a fight with Joe the plumber as that is where a lot of me anger is coming from.Please make sure you kick Joe the Unlicensed Non-Taxpaying But Supposedly Law Abiding Plumber's ass. Thanks.

WV is "resses," like what you are returning from, no?

Boxer said...

were you gone?

M@ said...

I would eat that, calories be damned.

savannah said...

what boxer said, sugar. xoxox

Old Knudsen said...

A whole week people, oh yes Old Knudsen was off into the bloody sunset. Now I know how Rambo feels and what expandable really means, or is it expendable?