Saturday, 21 March 2009

Do Vegans Swallow?

Vegetarians have a few screws loose I think we can all agree on that. I mean meat (especially pig and human) is just so darn tasty but vegans are worse, talk about Joho , food Nazi types with membership in PETA.

Heather Mills is that one legged vegan who married soft as shite Paul McCartney and then fucked the gullible cunt just like Michael Jackson when he bought the rights to the Beatles songs.

She has 24 million since the divorce so she decided to buy a popular fish restaurant near her home of Hove, the crazy cunt then took fish off the menu.

I heard she was going to buy a Burger King and do away with burgers and a KFC and do away with chicken or whatever it is they cook.

Its going to be a vegan restaurant which is odd as vegans don't have much meat on them.

Fuck you seafood lovers and fuck the 6 staff members as they will no longer be employed. She first agreed to pay £255,000, but then forced the price down to £140,000.

Former owner Nick Short said about the price fall: "I have been well and truly worked over by Heather."

I'd give a fuck but his greed worked himself over. I don't care if he was cut or nicked short.

Mills had eaten there 'about 20 times' with Bea, her five-year-old daughter and also with Sir Paul before the divorce.

The place sold traditional fry-ups which made the empire great, it also had veggie food on the menu and battered seal cub in a red wine sass.

Miss Mills's publicist said: 'The real estate market around the country is falling and no one forced the owner to sell. I think Hove, any town really, will be well served by a healthy foods cafe like this.'

To be honest fish stinks and is too bony. I like a good battered sausage.

I was just watching on the BBC news about how organic products aren't selling because of the high price they charge. You mean like expensive cars and electronic equipment? So many restaurants not only fail in the first year but are just failing, its a luxury and soon Manuel will be blogging about being a 'Well done rent boy'.

I don't see the point of organic foods. You charge extra and leave out half the stuff. I did work on an organic goat farm in France once but that was for my love of goats. Yes French goats do have hairy leg pits.

I want me drugs and artificial flavours left in me foods. I want me Trans fats me steroids and asteroids I want to feel and taste like I've just eaten something.

Phasers set to kill for vegans I'll have a Whopper when I first wake up and I won't be thinking about Heather Mills.

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MJ said...

As we speak, one of my houseboys is licking bacon drippings from the hem of my garment.

What's all this with you and Donn Twattering and Facebooking over on the sidelines?

It all looks very cozy to me but I'm having none of it.

Boxer said...

does your pee glow from all of the crap you want left in your food?

just wondering.....

Carnalis said...

i had to click on that strange face picture before realising what it really was (yes, the title Twat did help)

tony said...

"Life Is Just Like A Battered Sausage"(in his best Forest Gump accent..) But! Then! Again!One swallow Doesnt Make A Spring!!

Donn Coppens said...

Now I see the connection between Captain Ahab and Heather McMills..they were both obssessed with killing the great white leviathon or his career.

I never realised how buggy her eyes were..must be from all the swamp gas in her giblet..she needs to eat more pebbles out in the parking lot to help her digest all of those roots and pine needles that she eats.

I hear the baby seal melts in y'er mouth like a polar ice cap...mmmm. Of course seal needs to be chased down with a swig of Canadian CLUB!

Old Knudsen said...

WHEN I went into a fish and chip shop as a young boy for the first time I poured sugar over my food as I thought it was a big salt shaker. I then poured a ton of vinegar over it to hide the mistake. Not an enjoyable meal.

Leah said...

She gives me the willies.

MJ said...

She gives you the willies?

Old Knudsen would like to give you his willie.

Anonymous said...

Is that person in pic one actually Heather Mills? Never knew that McCartney was married to an alien, but what do I know?

TachaƩ said...

my pee glows after a hard night of drinking thats all I know ...

ohhh cameltoe ohhh cameltoeee how much does that hurt? ohh cameltoe lets go to barstow.

(nothing reeally rhymes with cameltoe)

Heather Mills should eat a dick, shes only got one leg left afterall.

Anonymous said...

MIsteltoe? Whistleblow? Lavabeau?