Tuesday 24 July 2018

Ian Paisley Is A Crook And Should Be Fired


Northern Ireland is a microcosm of the US or what the GOP want to make it. No same sex marriage, no abortion. The only thing missing are guns which only the police and criminals/farmers have. 

The DUP have been getting away with scandal after scandal because they have the votes the Tories need for Brexit and so the Tories dangle money in front of them for their loyalty. Like the GOP they are a load of gog bothering crooked, greedy arseholes that have the 'not too bright' thug and bigoted voter base .... yes Old Knudsen is not a fan of bigots. 

Sinn Fein the other party that rules Northern Ireland are just as useless. They refuse to take their seats in Westminster as that would mean a pledge to the Queen and so let the DUP get away with shit all the while taking the Queen's money.   So in essence they are our version of the Democrats. 

DUP politician Ian Paisley failed to declare two luxury family holidays in 2013 paid for by the Sri Lankan government. He also lobbied the then prime minister on the country's behalf.

Nice work if you can get it. Old Knudsen has a problem with this. He doesn't think that Ian Paisley who died in 2014 should continue to be a politician and they should bury him instead of doing a weekend at Bernies with someone raising his arm to cast votes. 

Update:  


It turns out that old Ian Paisley had sex at least 5 times (probably fully clothed) as he allegedly has 5 children. Old Knudsen has not seen any DNA testing so cannot confirm this. I doubt that even God is that cruel so look to their gardener. 

Ian Paisley jr went on to be Ian Paisley. The man that said homosexuality was a leading cause for divorce .... that fella. The kind of politician you expect to find in enlightened Ballymena. 

Dodds is saying, "hey Ian that be my biatch, hands off and no tongue this time!"

The younger Ian Paisley sought support from the DUP party leader Arlene Foster who may or may not be female ... Old Knudsen has not seen any evidence either way.  If Foster is reading then vadge shots that show her brutal face too will be considered. 

She said it was up to Parliament's watchdog (in other words the PM) so Paisley took to the floor and asked for forgiveness and apologized for being caught.   

When Old Knudsen worked at the hospital and was selling organs he too asked for forgiveness and said how weak he was .... he just said whatever he could to save his ass. In the real world employers fire crooked employees. 

No one told Old Knudsen you couldn't sell musical instruments at work ... a fuckin set up. 

If it was a Sinn Fein politician that put a loaf on top of his head to make an inappropriate joke on social media everyone would call for his resignation. Barry McElduff did indeed resign over it. 

Being a foreign agent for an oppressive regime only gets you a suspension which hasn't been approved yet as the Tories need his Brexit vote. 

    
When climate change denier and anti-immigrant DUP politician the gammon faced Sammy Wilson (on the right like the DUP usually are)  was asked if Paisley should be fired he said the BBC had a brass neck to suggest it and mentioned a totally unrated case in which singer and pedo Cliff Richards sued the BBC for £210,000 damages for privacy.

Richards sold his flat and quickly moved to Barbados as any innocent person would do once the story of his London flat being raided hit the news. He's even giving back to the community by building a playground in his back garden. 

Would you believe that Wilson used to be a teacher?  Standards ... not in Northern Ireland! 


Ian Paisley who delights in getting bribes and putting stickers on horses is so apologetic for his actions that he'll fight to keep his job if a by-election is called ... seems really contrite. What other job is he qualified for?  Not that he's qualified for this one as his "facts" often leads to chuckles as they are so dumb. 

Liam Neeson the King of Ballymena has yet to comment. 

Saturday 14 July 2018

Knife Action


The room was dimly lit but I could see the light glint off his blade. He was coming towards me faster than I had expected. I looked around, my firm young friend was still tripping balls from the red pill she had taken at the concert, she'd be of no help.

Old Knudsen had taken 4 but they had no effect on him except to see some people in their true ultimate form as giant dust mites and seeing the walls melt.

He got to me and extended his arm, I had only seconds to react. I was out of practice and not as fast as I used to be.

He handed me the knife and apologized for the previous one being dirty. I took the knife, smiled and said, "it was ok" but really it wasn't and he'd get no tip and harsh passive aggressive Yelp review.

Was there anything else he could get me? .... I asked for some red sass for the steak and he minced off to get it.

This is what happens when you give dust mites good British jobs.