Wednesday, 8 November 2017

How To Make The Most Out Of White Privilege

Old Knudsen is white ... I'd say Caucasian but that reminds me of cock which due to a genetic fault makes me giggle so I never say I'm Cauc :::sniggers::: nope I can't do it. Which is the title of yer sex tape ...KA-Chow!

Old Knudsen is also a male, ask yer mom. Around 10,000 BC white people said, "fuck it's hot here in Africa I'm off to Europe to mate with Neanderthals cos I likes em hairy"  and so rode their Velociraptors north and invented civilization. Nature can be cruel at times and so weemen retained the smaller Neanderthal brain while males had big fuck off brains full of smart shit an stuff.

One of the many reasons why white males are so awesome. You give a male child a stick and before long they are using it as a gun, whacking fences and trees with it or sharpening it to a point on the concrete. That's the survival A-Type personality kicking in that helped us survive. A stands for AWESOME of course.

  Pity his wife wasn't so understanding about these blurred lines

White males have privilege, you don't hear about brown or black privilege cos we whites rock! Weemen can benefit from our privilege too like a Remora fish.  

We grab ass, we grab pussy, when you are a white male they'll let you grab anything. Old Knudsen does his old man act. I got up to a young lady and ask her if she knows who my favorite magician is, they usually can't guess so I say David Blaine and grab their arse and we all awkwardly giggle, it's great.  It's all a part of my charm, if they are uppity I tell them I'm old and easily confused by modern day etiquette.

Biden crosses the line and they love it. Look at her body language, totally relaxed 

Thomas Jefferson used to do it and if it's fine for one of the founding fathers then it should be fine for the founder of myDeets .... a social media platform that didn't really take off as people accused me of selling their details. It was a set up!

Luckily thanks to 50 shades of Grey going mainstream weemen are now allowing us men to get adventurous in the torture dungeon bedroom. Be careful never to go too far though, I always tell my lady friends the safety word right before I gag em.

You can call Old Knudsen a feminist if you want as long as me dinner is on the table at 6pm.

Some Libby McLibtardface might be offended that I dare even mention how superior white males are. They might use words like racist, sexist, misogynist or thundercunt. I only date weemen to groom them .... for the glass ceiling obviously. 

We need more weemen in jobs like teachers, nurses, veterinarians and strippers and Old Knudsen is telling young hot chicks to reach for that goal like it's a dish cloth or iron. Someday the werld will be enlightened enough to thank me. 

Check out the great value. White privilege gets you the special menu. In every restaurant or fast food outlet the managers all know of the special menu that only us white people get to order from. When Old Knudsen goes to a McDonald's he can get a McRib at any time. Breakfast menu? Get the manager they'll know. 

For a limited time only ... not for us. 

Guess what little boy won't grow up with a life of inner city crime and poverty ... ach c'mon how is that racist? There only is one race, go be offended somewhere else. 

Has Old Knudsen crossed the line yet? Well for us white people the line is more of a guideline. 

Before you ask, some very fine people on all sides have asked Old Knudsen to run for president but Old Knudsen doesn't do running which is why he and the military had to part ways. 

I told him he'd shot his eye out, no trigger discipline he got triggered  

When us white people aren't eating kale, dancing badly and being all round douchebags we like to shoot people. 

In the US white males are the top group for mass shootings WE ROCK! ... #1!!!!

When Old Knudsen bought his rifle the man behind the counter was unsure. A bolt action rifle that only holds 10 bullets???? .... sounds gay. 

After a few homophobic slurs and jokes I assured him that I took no pleasure what so ever from sucking cock for beer money. 

I told him my rifle was .303 caliber and could easily tear through a couple of innocent by-standers, of course we both laughed and chanted USA USA! ... like you do. 

We whiteys can sexually harass weemen and become president ... as long as we aren't creepy about it eh Mr Hairy Wankstain? The police don't assume we are criminals which is why you should only shoplift when ethnics are in the shop as a distraction.
Kill someone in a hit and run or car crash, if you have a good reason like you were distracted by a cat video on yer phone or posting to Twitter you'll get away with it eh Bruce Caitlyn Jenner, Laura Bush, Ted Kennedy, Howard Hughes and John Huston? ... what fucken stop sign the crab had a knife it was hilarious. 
If we shoot up a school, church, concert we could shout "Alan Arkin!" while wrapped in an ISIS flag and it still won't be called terrorism* and we'll get a polite letter telling us to surrender to the authorities. Most shooters that kill themselves only do so when they doubt their white privilege. 

The only downside to being white is that you can't rub it in the face of poor unfortunate non-whites, they really do get upset that they are not white going by the reaction I get wearing my white pride t-shirt.

So yes we must give the appearance of modesty and forego our righteous smugness but we know, oh yeah.

Disclaimer:  All views on this blog are satirical, unless it's about Jews and lemurs. Do not try anything from this blog in front of children and or recording devices.

* Killing sprees are only terrorism when deemed so by authorities and when the motive is political or ideology based. If you don't agree with that and want to call every nut-job a terrorist then you are dumb and are the type of person that calls drink and drug addiction an illness, get over it snowflake.   


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