Tuesday 31 October 2017

The Haunted White House Of Horror


President Donald J Trump showed off his skills with children by giving out Halloween candy to the children of the Press.

He made one of them cry but she was Japanese and only a 3 ... I don't think he meant her age.

Sure he made it about him and gave left handed compliments and hinted that their parents were the enemy. Like you do. Then he gave them all election maps of his win.

I've no idea why the media or anyone would let their children be near him. His 11 year-old son Barron really doesn't mind having an absent father too much.

No one does Donald

Like a grandparent who forgot their glasses he tried reading what was in the little packets he was giving out but he couldn't because words are difficult. It could have been razor blades and crack in those packets ... take some for your friends he said, probably because there were only Obama had bigger crowds of kids 10 kids and about 40 packets.

Today on Halloween is when the real fun starts. The White House opens its gates for real not staged trick or treaters and mostly all hands on deck. 25% off Make America Great Again hat vouchers for the first 45 as he is president 45.


Security will be tight, they have the former General John Kelly on the porch drinking beer. Younger kids are advised to get to the White House early as he becomes quite belligerent after his 8th can.  He was going to put on his uniform to be an officer and a gentleman but after smearing Frederica Wilson with lies and insulting the gold star widow & family he can't fool anyone any more. 

iPhone iPhone in my hand, who's the most bigoted in the land? 

Kellyanne Conway can't make it to the event as she is in rehab for Hillary addiction. She just cannot stop talking about her and then deflects by accusing others of being obsessed with Russia. Typical addict behavior.


Sarah Huckabee Sanders will be there of course. Well she said she would be but she lies like a rug. You'd think this would be a conflict with her Christian beliefs but no, it fits right in.

The Alt-Wipe used to say how Islam law said it was totally fine to lie to infidels, that gave them the excuse not to trust any Muslim well plot twist, Christians lie like fuck. You can't believe in something of which there is no proof of and claim it's real without lying. Religion is the art of fooling others and yourself.


Of course we have no idea what Sarah will be dressing as. Possibly a bigot? A sexual assault apologist? A bullshit artist?  ... who knows?


I bet you can't gas guess what the most popular costume is. Miller was relieved when Bannon left as then he gets to be the scary Nazi guy. It just happened that Miller has numerous Nazi outfits so it was just deciding which one to wear, I guess he really likes costume parties.

   Too scary looking for Halloween

Luckily for the kids Bannon is gone. He's gone back to living under a rock or bridge or whatever ... or has he?
Bannon was fired for no real reason as there wasn't any push for him to go, nothing more than usual. He was fired/resigned so he could do things he couldn't in the White House such as put out fake news stories about Hillary such as the Uranium one story.

Uranium One doesn't even produce 20% of uranium in the US but it could. The total uranium amount produced by the US in the world is around 2% so kinda difficult for Hillary to sell it. It's a silly story based on Russia investing in a US company, nothing was sold to them.


Bannon needs to confuse people hence the stories to distract you. Mueller charging one of the Trump traitors ... roll out the distraction stories. 


Jeff Sessions won't be there as parties make him nervous. He'll be sitting on his veranda drinking mint tulips watching his Halloween cross burn.

Vice President Mike Pence won't be there either as he'll be praying for everyone's souls as they celebrate Satan.


General McMaster will be there cos he does what he's told. Like Kelly his integrity has long gone. Trump thought of his costume idea because of the nickname 'Pinhead' he has given him. Everyone even McMaster thinks this is hilarious.


General Mattis will be there. As usual he will look bored and half asleep as if he doesn't want to be there but again he follows orders. He gets to be in charge of waging war without oversight, fuck the civilian casualties we're the fucken Marines!

The Purge: Election year

The main order of the night is to have fun. Go through the haunted house, live in horror as you realize that Donald Trump a pampered failed businessman reality TV star sexual predator is the 45th President ... it wasn't all a bad dream.

Play a game of 'guess the launch codes' the lucky one that guesses right gets to push the button to wipe out North Korea.

The first child to trigger a Liberal gets a signed photo of the president with his catchphrase "you're fired!" on it. 


Melania will probably be resting ... recharging her batteries as being the spokesperson for cyber bullying can be draining. She gave a talk titled 'Get Over It' which deals with the political correctness of the media and how much they bully President Trump ... as an example. 

She came back and just crashed and might not have the energy for trick or treating.

So if you are near the White House drop in. Do not leave any women aged under 50 unchaperoned as Donald might have his Fox and fiends friends over and boys will be boys.


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