Tuesday, 31 October 2017

The Haunted White House Of Horror

President Donald J Trump showed off his skills with children by giving out Halloween candy to the children of the Press.

He made one of them cry but she was Japanese and only a 3 ... I don't think he meant her age.

Sure he made it about him and gave left handed compliments and hinted that their parents were the enemy. Like you do. Then he gave them all election maps of his win.

I've no idea why the media or anyone would let their children be near him. His 11 year-old son Barron really doesn't mind having an absent father too much.

No one does Donald

Like a grandparent who forgot their glasses he tried reading what was in the little packets he was giving out but he couldn't because words are difficult. It could have been razor blades and crack in those packets ... take some for your friends he said, probably because there were only Obama had bigger crowds of kids 10 kids and about 40 packets.

Today on Halloween is when the real fun starts. The White House opens its gates for real not staged trick or treaters and mostly all hands on deck. 25% off Make America Great Again hat vouchers for the first 45 as he is president 45.

Security will be tight, they have the former General John Kelly on the porch drinking beer. Younger kids are advised to get to the White House early as he becomes quite belligerent after his 8th can.  He was going to put on his uniform to be an officer and a gentleman but after smearing Frederica Wilson with lies and insulting the gold star widow & family he can't fool anyone any more. 

iPhone iPhone in my hand, who's the most bigoted in the land? 

Kellyanne Conway can't make it to the event as she is in rehab for Hillary addiction. She just cannot stop talking about her and then deflects by accusing others of being obsessed with Russia. Typical addict behavior.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders will be there of course. Well she said she would be but she lies like a rug. You'd think this would be a conflict with her Christian beliefs but no, it fits right in.

The Alt-Wipe used to say how Islam law said it was totally fine to lie to infidels, that gave them the excuse not to trust any Muslim well plot twist, Christians lie like fuck. You can't believe in something of which there is no proof of and claim it's real without lying. Religion is the art of fooling others and yourself.

Of course we have no idea what Sarah will be dressing as. Possibly a bigot? A sexual assault apologist? A bullshit artist?  ... who knows?

I bet you can't gas guess what the most popular costume is. Miller was relieved when Bannon left as then he gets to be the scary Nazi guy. It just happened that Miller has numerous Nazi outfits so it was just deciding which one to wear, I guess he really likes costume parties.

   Too scary looking for Halloween

Luckily for the kids Bannon is gone. He's gone back to living under a rock or bridge or whatever ... or has he?
Bannon was fired for no real reason as there wasn't any push for him to go, nothing more than usual. He was fired/resigned so he could do things he couldn't in the White House such as put out fake news stories about Hillary such as the Uranium one story.

Uranium One doesn't even produce 20% of uranium in the US but it could. The total uranium amount produced by the US in the world is around 2% so kinda difficult for Hillary to sell it. It's a silly story based on Russia investing in a US company, nothing was sold to them.

Bannon needs to confuse people hence the stories to distract you. Mueller charging one of the Trump traitors ... roll out the distraction stories. 

Jeff Sessions won't be there as parties make him nervous. He'll be sitting on his veranda drinking mint tulips watching his Halloween cross burn.

Vice President Mike Pence won't be there either as he'll be praying for everyone's souls as they celebrate Satan.

General McMaster will be there cos he does what he's told. Like Kelly his integrity has long gone. Trump thought of his costume idea because of the nickname 'Pinhead' he has given him. Everyone even McMaster thinks this is hilarious.

General Mattis will be there. As usual he will look bored and half asleep as if he doesn't want to be there but again he follows orders. He gets to be in charge of waging war without oversight, fuck the civilian casualties we're the fucken Marines!

The Purge: Election year

The main order of the night is to have fun. Go through the haunted house, live in horror as you realize that Donald Trump a pampered failed businessman reality TV star sexual predator is the 45th President ... it wasn't all a bad dream.

Play a game of 'guess the launch codes' the lucky one that guesses right gets to push the button to wipe out North Korea.

The first child to trigger a Liberal gets a signed photo of the president with his catchphrase "you're fired!" on it. 

Melania will probably be resting ... recharging her batteries as being the spokesperson for cyber bullying can be draining. She gave a talk titled 'Get Over It' which deals with the political correctness of the media and how much they bully President Trump ... as an example. 

She came back and just crashed and might not have the energy for trick or treating.

So if you are near the White House drop in. Do not leave any women aged under 50 unchaperoned as Donald might have his Fox and fiends friends over and boys will be boys.

Monday, 30 October 2017

The JFK Files It Was Hillary

Sharing is caring. From cum bucket to feminist icon

President Donald J Trump in the spirit of transparency released the last of the JFK files. Well actually they were due to be released for years but Trump took the credit as he is desperate for a win of any sort. 

Of course he lied about releasing them as not all were released. They worry about national security but Jared and Ivanka have top level clearance and Putin has front door keys. 

Let me remind you how Old Knudsen stands on this assassination

'A moving target 90 yards (82 metres) with a tree obscuring it for some time yet he fired 3 rounds in 6 seconds with 2 out of three bullets hitting the mark ..... this was on an old clunky bolt action rifle that he wasn't used to firing with an inaccurate scope that wasn't of a particularly powerful magnification.'

Also he wasn't a particularly good shot and didn't practice. 

Cheer the fuck up Jackie

The smile and the wink as LBJ gets sworn in. He kept the troops in Nam (Air America) and was friends with the people that set up Haliburton. Always look to see who profits from something and it wasn't the Russians but that narrative has been pushed as it's a good one. 

These days people just flat out refuse to blame the Russians, Russian fatigue I think but those ex-reds are still at it. 

According to these documents the Russians were very concerned that a US General would nuke Moscow in retaliation. 

Oswald was a former Marine so not the brightest, he sure made himself known to the authorities with obvious Russian connections as if he wasn't trying to hide. 

Russia uses fools, it doesn't train them in covert actions. Trump isn't a Russian spy he's a Russian groupie so easy to manipulate and use. Others can use those fools too. The Alt-wipe for instance. 

What Happened

The Trump admin looked over the documents before they were released and noticed a page that wasn't included on the index. The page which wasn't crumpled up and dyed in coffee to look aged says that Hillary killed JFK. Respected journalist Sean Hannity concurs with these findings. 

"The FBI and the leftist Media aren't talking about this at all but I am."

Hillary would have been 16 then and well into her KGB training. The documents also show that the FBI knew that Hillary was a threat. In December of 1961 she gave a kill list to Santa instead of her Christmas list by accident and he obviously went to the Feds. That Santa died a week before he was to testify in a suspicious danger wank incident with a belt around his neck in a closet. 

Look at my pants I'm fucken crazy ... I'll kill anyone and laugh while doing it bitch!

According to documents, Hillary who was quite hot then still is got close enough to JFK to put magnets held in ice onto his head. JFK's head was massive so they were easy to miss. 

Hillary took up position closer to the route with a clear line of sight as any properly trained operative would do. To the front of the motorcade would be better than seeing it whizzing past. That would give you more time than 6 seconds. Oswald would serve as a good distraction with his clunky rifle. People would be looking behind the car as Hillary made her escape.

Hillary's bullets were magnetic and so were attracted to the magnets on JFK's giant noggin. What wasn't destroyed by impact would fall off when the ice melted ... standard KGB stuff back then.

If only these files had been released earlier. Hillary went on to kill 4 Americans at Benghazi, several other people like the staffer that found out she was behind the Wikileaks hack and it was her plan all along to lose the election so she could concentrate on her pedophile ring operating out of a pizza parlor .... fucking cunning or what?

She killed them all personally as she enjoyed seeing the life drain from their eyes.

Don't get me started on that e-Bay account traced to her that was selling uranium to the Russians.

Robert Mueller is charging people in the Russian collusion investigation. Expect distractions. Bannon has been released from White House service to work on the Breitbart News lies, he's really pushing the already de-bunked uranium rumor.

Talk about nuking North Korea, blame Obama and Hillary on something, whine about the media. Don't fall for these 'I'm just a patsy' stories.

Thursday, 26 October 2017

The Steele Dossier

Urine Nation ... a fragrance by Trump, smell the winning

The Steele dossier is a set of memos written by a Christopher Steele, an experienced and  respected former British intelligence agent.

At the start of the election a GOP donor hired Fusion GPS to do research on Trump.The unnamed donor opposed Trump and wanted some dirt but ceased funding when Trump became the GOP nominee.  Marco Rubio and Jeb Bush are 2 suspects as to who first funded it.

Later the DNC through the law firm Perkins Coie funded the dossier on behalf of Clinton to find out about his businesses, associates and possible ties with Russia. Fusion GPS hired Mr. Steele who has connections and knows about Russia.

Obama knew about Trump's possible Russian connections as did the FBI. Buzzfeed published the dossier and what everyone picked up on was his alleged fetish for urinating Russian hookers.

Trump denied everything of course. He said he did go to Russia for the Miss World pageant but they have cameras everywhere and he warns people about this.

Trump is way too clever to be caught on tape. Besides he says he's a germophobe ... even though there were no Germans there. Golden showers??? he doesn't even like the color gold for fucks sake.

The FBI was going to hire Steele for further investigations until the dossier was made public then they changed their minds.

This whole case is full of second guessing and fear of being accused of swaying public opinion. It's no wonder the Democrats lost to a Reality TV star. 

Another fucken book? give it a rest

The FBI behaved strangely during the election and didn't really try hard to uncover any facts. This is why Old Knudsen has little faith in the Mueller investigation. 

Steele's expertise is not in doubt. Years as an uncover diplomat he was the case officer for the Litvinenko murder. That's the ex-KGB agent that Putin had poisoned in London in 2006. Sir Andrew Wood the former British ambassador to Moscow vouched for Steele to John McCain.

The main problem with the dossier were the sources. It's very hard for a spy to cite sources and some doubted Steele's ability as an outsider to infiltrate Kremlin security. No one would bet their career on it.

Over the past 11 months 9 top Russians have died. Oleg Erovinkin a former intelligence officer was found dead in his car. It is suspected he has ties to the Steele dossier and of course with Russia no cause of death was given.

Sergei Krivov a Russian diplomat died on election day in New York for fucks sake. Either from a head wound, chest wound or heart attack all have been given as the cause of death. 

Putin finds out who is against him and gets rid of them. Recently he used the Interpol to put out an arrest alert for a journalist but they won't say what the charge is. 

Putin using Interpol, I bet there is a lot of corruption and abuse of power there that we don't know about. 

Trump is the guy that gushes inappropriately about women in public and even while on stage. He's cheated on his wives to get the next wife so are we to think that away from his wife and the US he behaves himself at a beauty pageant? 

Old Knudsen is 100% sure that he has been compromised by the Russians. They have something on him. Remember M.I.C.E. Money, Ideology, Compromise and Ego ... the usual ways to suborn someone. 

All nations spy but Russia never stopped fighting the Cold War

Trump has been going to Russia for potential business deals since the time they were Communist. Yeah the epitome of American Capitalism doing business in Soviet Russia, doesn't pass the smell test.           

Trump and his family have denied Russian ties but there are plenty of interviews of them bragging about doing business in Russia. A Russian Oligarch put Ivanka and Jared together for fucks sake. Release your tax returns Trump!!!!  

The Trump family lies! ... that seems to be the one consistent truth. 

Donald Trump isn't the brightest tool in the cupboard. He says he is very intelligent and went to an Ivy league school ... New York Military Academy and yet he knows nothing about military protocol or basic general knowledge, very strange. 

You'd think such a place would honor the raising and taking down of the flag everyday and that Trump would recognize the Retreat when it is being played. 

Trump is the Manchurian Candidate of the apocalypse. He still hasn't activated the latest sanctions against Russia even though he was made to sign them. He wanted an era of sharing with Russia when he was first elected and Putin cheered this. 

And Melania doesn't even know she's a robot

Putin is like a trickle of water on a wall, sooner or later the wall will crumble. Checks and balances have prevented Trump lifting sanctions much to the ire of Exxon who were counting on drilling for oil in Russia. Putin had hoped the Magnitsky Act would get lifted as this is hurting Russian foreign investment big time.

The Magnitsky Act repealed is Russia's short term goal. When the US froze Russia assets to punish Russia for the death of Sergei Magnitsky in a Russian prison in 2009 they retaliated by not allowing Americans to adopt Russian children. 

That what Donald Trump jr said the Russians wanted to talk about when he and Jared met with former KGB agents in Trump Tower. 

As long as you told Assange what to say we'll be good

Trump's attitude towards Russia is not normal, he would have you believe the Press is corrupt rather than the Russians with their Facebook ads. 

Julian Assange is also trying to gaslight the narrative by claiming everyone had Russian info except him ... yeah right. All the Trumps, Nigel Farage and Julian Assange ... all liars. Each check off several of the things on the M.I.C.E. list especially ego.   

Old Knudsen being an expert on body language and behavior can see Trump is dirty. It will take more than Russian hooker piss to clean this up.  

Tuesday, 24 October 2017

The Casting Couch

30 years ago which only seems like yesterday, Old Knudsen was an aspiring actor, a vast untapped source of talent waiting to be ejaculated onto the world.

He had ambition and drive. He was skilled in song and dance, knew how to take a fall and throw a convincing punch. Years of stage work at the Old Vic in London set him up with much sought after experience.

His Hamlet at the park was the talk of the town ... not the Park Theatre it was just a park and it was mostly screaming and calling for the police than talk. Well Polonius was asking for it, who the fuck hides behind tapestry's?

Anyways I didn't use a real sword in the park just a pork sword. Allegedly cos I remember nothing.

Even lil Kim has had to audition 

After being blackballed growing tired of the stage I looked to Hollywood for a TV or movie role. Old Knudsen is naturally buff so perhaps a Lethal Weapon or Die Hard type of role. I can do drama nae probs, you want me to cry? ... an old acting trick, you get an onion and .... oh you've heard it, yeah you shove it roughly up yer arse without lube, if you have any anal fissures that'll sting and you'll be crying for yer mammy and getting that Oscar.
So I sent my picture around and didn't get any replies then a friend put me in touch with a producer who I'll refer to as Harry Wankstain to protect his identity.

He said I was very pretty but wanted to see more. I knew where this was going so I told him that I had to go. He said I'd never work in that town if I walked out so I sucked his dick, licked his hole and let him cum all over my potted plant.

Some dodgy roles out there you have to be careful. 

The next week I was lucky enough to get a call from a director who I'll call James Twobuck. He got me to say some lines which sounded like they were from a family drama, 'oh daddy you are so big and strong and you know I've been very very naughty'  .... hey it was better than Hamlet, that lad is well fucked up, him and his Oedipus Complex, fucken Danish weirdo.

Twobuck came all over me potted plant, I guess that's a Hollywood thing or something ... Americans huh.

So Old Knudsen spent a year sucking off and flanging the Hollywood elite just check their couches for my DNA it's like radiation, that stuff has a shelf life of a thousand years hence all the unexplained pregnancies and clap outbreaks. Old Knudsen's short are a bio hazard. Now there's a line you'll see in my obituary some day. 

There will always be a prettier face though or someone great at accents like Connery or Neeson.

When you see actors like Ben Affleck or Bradley Cooper you certainly know those two didn't get their stardom from their acting ability. What depraved act did they do that Old Knudsen didn't?

Monday, 23 October 2017

The US In Niger

People keep on asking Old Knudsen questions in his role as an international security analyst. Well actually they don't which is odd as I usually go on about shit months before the mainstream media start going on about it. 

To be honest Old Knudsen has been 'out of the life' for years and only became an analyst as I thought it had to do with butt stuff. 


Want to know about secret bases in Africa? I've told you about these before. The US only has one permanent base in Africa that's Camp Lemonnier in Djibouti. When they say permanent that means they've paid the rent in advance and there is so much there that they can't just live there 5 years then evacuate. A permanent base is like a town. 

  Camp Lemonnier is a lot of fun on Friday and Saturday nights

There are other semi-permanent bases, these could very well become permanent or abandoned depending on operations. The way we find out about all these facilities is because construction firms put bids in for million dollar contracts in the area. The French base in N’Djamena in Chad near the Nigeria border hosts other nations and the US they are totally doing it are not interested in building a large $100 million base there.

In Senegal there is a firing range and a shoot house, a multipurpose facility in Cameroon, Airbase in Ouagadougou, the capital of Burkina Faso. Arlit and Tahoua in Niger have outposts.

The US fly drones for ISR ... Intelligence, surveillance and reconnaissance from Niger, Djibouti, Ethiopia and the Seychelle islands. 

Since 2013 the US have been operating out of a temporary base at Diori Hamani International Airport in the Niger city of Niamey, Base AĆ©rienne 101. They are moving operations to build a drone base at Agadez which is nice and central. 

Scruff of the neck training

Why are there US troops Africa? Why not? Everyone else is in Africa. The locals need training and support or they'll be over run and the insurgents will become stronger. Like in Syria ISIS took over oil refineries to finance themselves and in Niger they want to take over the gold mining. 

Of course the US is getting something out of it. If they don't help out these nations they they'll trade with China who has a large presence in Africa. Also Russia has signed a military cooperation deal with Niger and are also going to be drilling for oil in Nigeria so plenty of foreign competition for the area.

There maybe defeat for ISIS in Iraq and Syria after all these years but in Africa new groups keep emerging. The Islamic State in the Greater Sahara, the Islamic State in Somalia, and the Islamic State in Somalia, Kenya, Tanzania, and Uganda. 

ISIS merged with Boko Haram a couple of years back which showed how the threat is growing. Other smaller groups have merged too such as the Movement for Oneness and Jihad in West Africa  and the Masked Men Brigade which became The Islamic State in the Greater Sahara and so on.

al-Shabaab in Somalia have been having management issues which had members split off to another group. Being the al-Qaeda flavour they don't appreciate members leaving for the ISIS brand. 

The attack in Niger that left 4 dead is the usual cluster fuck that goes on in the military. A lightly armed 12 man team of Americans and Nigerians were walking back to their unarmored pickup trucks after a village meeting when they were ambushed by 50 insurgents. 

The insurgents were better armed and well there were 50 . After 30 minutes French jets buzzed the area to try to disperse the insurgents but were not allowed to engage the enemy and then an hour later a private contractor from  Berry Aviation was used to airlift the soldiers out. They have the contract for that, what else do they let civvies do? Or how you avoid Congress for shady stuff and make your friends rich. 

4 dead Americans 5 dead Nigerians and others wounded. So you look at that and only 3 living soldiers were rescued 2 of them American. Sgt La David Johnson was missing. Johnson's tracker signal was activated which means he was still alive or the enemy set it off we don't know. What we do know is he didn't have an open casket. 

The military are trying to cover themselves. First they say the patrol did 29 patrols over the past 6 months with no enemy contact and now Mattis is saying an attack in the area was to be expected and as Trump says to grieving widows, shit happens get over it. 

The French and Nigerians did not leave the field until the bodies of the fallen had been recovered. 

It's a jungle out there ... some times literally. Or a vast stretch of sub-Saharan dirt and rocks. Niger is a big mostly untamed place with parts almost impossible to access. I suspect the village they visited tipped off the insurgents as 50 well armed cunts don't just hang around hoping to meet a patrol. Perhaps their patrol wasn't random enough, or they were tipped off from a buddy at the base, it all sounds very suspect. 

Then you have Trump trying to avoid any talk of it for 12 days. 

Not much in the way of winning perhaps they need the Kurd to help them out.   

More might be known about the Niger operation since I wrote this with the military finally settling on a good story to tell but this is what I know now.  

A Day Without Libtards

The collection name for a group of Liberals is a 'smug' of Liberals. 

What would happen if God decided to save the world by getting rid of its number one menace, Liberals?

Don't you just hate them with their signs, woolly hats and talk of equality and a clean environment for the future generations? Fuck the future generations, I probably wouldn't like them anyways. 

If you notice the left and those with liberal leanings tend to be more interesting and creative than the right. A leftie can be put to eternal shame if they got your and you're mixed up in a hastily sent tweet but those on the right have no shame or standards and so would insult you for being clever. 

Late night TV and TV in general would be kinda dull. No more blockbuster movies you'd have to rely on the old guard actors like Steven Seagull or Arnie. I hope you like movies with explosions and no plot twists. 

Perhaps Stephen Miller will take over Late Night TV, "My dog has no nose .... how does it smell? ... like a Muslim which is why we have to ban them" 

Um yeah, fucken hilarious. Steve Bannon doing car karaoke but misses the point and only plays Richard Wagner.

There would only be one news channel and with the Democrats gone and no opposition for Trump what would Hannity have to say? ... "Another great day in the land of the free, now for part 47 of the 300 parts series on why President Donald J Trump is so awesome."

Fucker Tucker Carlson wouldn't have to pretend that slavery was bad and could just come out and say even crazier stupid shit. Liberals are no longer dividing the nation ... it's left handed people that's doing it now. If you see one report it.

This is a liddle song called Blood and soil, I hope you like it. 

Nazis could walk around freely without fear of getting fired or sucker punched. They could go learn all that history they've been meaning to learn from the statues. Look Cleetus, this statue says General Lee is a hero ... I thought he was a car.

Everyone can have guns and as many as they want. They could do their spree shootings without fear of gun regulation. No one to tell them what mean fuckers they are for killing children etc it will probably lose its thrill and no one will want guns.

No liberals to scare my guns don't make me erect anymore.

Without Liberals to make books into movies how will anyone know what books to ban? The Handmaid's Tale was a book? All I know is that it makes great sense.

With no more gheyness, abortion and touchy feely therapy there will be weekly shame groups. Rape and pedophilia will be acceptable within the confines of good Christian marriage. Votes for women and driving cars was too much of a responsibility so they won't be having any of that.

Women love doing house work so they'll be doing plenty of that. Conservatives aren't evil, they'll allow some women to become teachers and nurses of course ... as long as they still have the dinner ready by six. 

"A man that wants women to stay in the kitchen doesn't know what to do with them in the bedroom" ~

People could finally stop hiding and allow themselves to be who they want to be. Trump wants to be Putin ... he also wants to do Putin.
The TV channels that didn't Fox news, sport or Nashville has talent would have Trump on it telling everyone how great he is. The History channel otherwise known as the Hitler channel for its non-stop Nazi coverage would be called the good old days channel and the Holocaust and the Nazis losing all the wars would be edited somewhat.

No one would be a drain on the nation by insisting on affordable healthcare. Only socialists and poofy European types demand healthcare. Tough Mericans die on their feet or on the toilet.

Immigrants, the sick and the old would no longer be a problem with no one to stick up for them.

There would be a death penalty for prison inmates because with liberals gone there would be tons of pent up anger so pay per view executions. Running a red light means spin the wheel of death!

Life would be perfect without those judgmental Liberals. Equality is for queers and steers and I don't see no horns on you.

Overlord Pence wouldn't have to hang gays because there are no gay Conservatives ... as long as they deny it and still have a "normal" Bible blessed family of course. Keep that weird butt stuff for the basement.

A Liberal would call Dennis Hastert a pedo child molester, under the new ' no accountability' laws he'd be called eccentric.

Sexual assault would be re-branded as hi-jinx because boys will be boys. Avocados and pumpkin spice whatever that is would be outlawed and the only Vegans about would be yon pointy eared fella on Star Trek re-runs ... hope you like re-runs.

Only home made alcohol will be allowed in mason jars to drink from and a man bun gets you a public stoning. There will be a selection of manly beards sanctioned by the state but ironic facial hair will be outlawed.

The only new music would be cuntry music or misery music. If a song doesn't have a dog, pickup truck and some longing for something then it isn't a real song. Toby Keith for his contribution to cuntry and for being the go to cunt singer for Trump rallies will be made a cunt ambassador.

With Liberals gone the center right people will probably go into hiding for fear of being singled out. A day without Libtards wouldn't be very funny or interesting but it would be all right.