Tuesday, 2 May 2017

It's In The Jeans

Yeah I'm old, me trousers are meant to cover me arse because of stoopid rules of society that says you have can't walk past a school naked or just not wear trousers to the shops ... free cuntry indeed.

You remember the 70's and 80's, you could have a pair of jeans but it was best if they were enhanced by being ripped. In the old days you'd wear clothes that wasn't ripped, you sew them or put patches on them when holes appeared. Wear and tear scuffed up yer denim and gave it yon cowboy look but then jean manufacturers came out with stone washed and distressed look jeans, people paid money for worn looking jeans .... they still do.

     Do some people not even look in the mirror before they leave the house? 

To sell us jeans the advertising companies reminded us of the perfect 1950's as pretty English model  Nick Kamen stripped off and put some rocks and his coloreds into a machine in what looked to be an all white American launderette. The song I Heard It Through the Grapevine which is from the 60's played in this 1985 commercial. 

In 1988 the British Evel Knievel Eddie Kidd out smarted a doorman at a club that said 'no blue jeans' by wearing Levi 501 in black, all to the sound of Stand by me. Kidd isn't so young and pretty anymore but who is besides Old Knudsen? An accident in 96 left him paralysed and with brain damage.

Old Knudsen has worn black jeans, button fly jeans and ripped jeans. One rip came from falling down a small mountain in Callyfornia. Today's jeans look like they'd been in a car accident and possibly dragged for miles on the road.  

I see females wearing leggings with a series of slits cut into each leg, what the fuck? I've seen homeless people dressed better. 

Nordstroms are selling jeans with fake mud stains. They dumped Ivanka's crap for this, no wonder Fox is taking the piss out of them. $425 for jeans ... away an fuck. 20 quid is my upper limit these days. I've had 501's 505's Uzi 9 millimeter but now I'm all about the goods being on the inside. 
Oh my god! Have you been in an accident? Did you get the plate of the truck that knocked you down? 
I suppose if Old Knudsen is away from a toilet and the gravy leaks out he can say his brown stains are designer. Aye and I paid an extra $100 for the smell too. 

If yer on a budget then these $95 jeans from Nordstroms or Top shop will do you. Yes that is clear plastic on the knees cos knees being so sexy should be pointed out and put on display. 

It's a pity she couldn't find a pair that were long enough for her. 

They should put in knee pads instead of taking the knees out.  In the military you don't want to kneel on a stick and hurt yerself when giving a tactical blow job in the field so a little common sense eh. 

Designers don't live in the same world as normal people. Their clothes are made for properly proportioned skinny tall people. Putting a hefty price tag on clothes doesn't say hey look at me I'm fashionable it says I've got money to burn and no dress sense. 

You just look at these "fashions" and hope they don't catch on like those terrible looking low rider or the baggy sagging jeans did.  At $425 they won't be too popular but the $25 Chinese knock offs that have probably already been made might be.

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