Friday, 28 April 2017

Trump Hates Being President

It's easy to complain on Twitter that the President is playing too much golf and is doing everything wrong ... I mean Obama of course. No one took Donald Trump to the side and told him that being in charge of the world's second richest nation (used to be first, thanks Obama) was a difficult job.

No one pointed out that his policies were unrealistic and that having no plans was a bad thing.

Do you think George Washington had a plan when he crossed the  Delaware River under cover of darkness on the 25 December to surprise attack Hessian forces? Do you think Neil Armstrong spent years preparing and training himself to be the first *American* on the moon?   

Of course they didn't. A surprised Donald J Trump misses his old life ... the J now stands for jaded.

He misses driving instead of being driven around like Miss Daisy. He says he lives in a cocoon which is vastly different to the rich elitist bubble he's used to living in. He's not allowed to get rid of the horrible White House furniture and replace it with modern white and gold stuff.

There comes a time when you have to realize that antiques is just a pretentious way of saying old shit. The resolute desk he signs all his failed bills at was a gift from Queen Victoria in 1880 for fucks sake.

Get yerself down to IKEA and get a Bjorgensenord .... American sold! not some old oak desk from an inbred foreigner tart. 

Hey Donny, where is the toilet? ... on my orange face baby

His every move is watched which is why he made the White House visiting logs classified again after Obama had made them public. At least now he can have some of his non-political friends over without the public and his wife knowing. Trump's friends deserve to have privacy too.

In New York he could wander the streets at night with his most trusted security guard and beat a hobo to death but that kind of thing is frowned upon as President, so many new rules, it feels like he's walking on egg shells. Gone are the days of sex slave island with Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew.

 Trump haz a sad

He promised a 90 plan to defeat ISIS.
He promised to get rid of Obamacare and give tremendous healthcare to everyone.
He promised to jail Hillary.
He promised a special prosecutor to investigate Hillary Clinton.
He promised to build a wall and make Mexico pay for it. $21.5bn (£17.2bn), according to a Department of Homeland Security internal report.
He promised to drain the swamp. Excepts for jobs to relatives.
He promised to open up libel laws to make it easier to sue people especially those who slandered him.
He promised to end the sanctuary cities.
He promised to release his tax returns.
He Promised to ban Muslims from entering the US.
He promised to increase the size of the army to 540,000.
He promised to build a navy of 350 ships.
He promised an air force of 1,200 fighter aircraft.
He promised a Marine Corps based on 36 battalions.
He promised to approve waterboarding "immediately" and "make it much worse.
He Promised to hire and buy American ... unless he and his family could get it for cheaper.

His 100 Day Plan to Make America Great Again ... his contract with the American people to fulfill a load of stuff in his first 100 days that would make American great again has come and gone.  He either can't get the money for any of this or judges point out his bills are against the law and the Constitution and block them. 

No one knew that healthcare and foreign policy could be so difficult. In the history of mankind no one has ever mentioned how intricate these topics were. The talk with his new bestie Xi totally blew his mind.
If Xi Jinping had a few days more with Trump the US would probably Communist and Trump would take to wearing a coolie hat and eating chicken feet .... fucken Chinese Jedi mind tricks!   

    The onset of dementia has also hampered his progress 

Trump thinks that if it wasn't for incompetent staff. Republicans and Democrats that don't do as he says, the media with its fake news, the intelligence community and those protesters and whoever is paying them he could have achieved everything. 

What the fuck is up with ISIS, Assad and Kim jong un?  Why have they not backed down and surrendered? Didn't they see the footage of the 59 Tomahawks and the Mother of all bombs?  Trump read the blurb on the back cover of the Art of war ... he knows war better than anyone. 

 His war council are perplexed.

He also doesn't think that people should be allowed to mock the President, everyone should Respect My Authoritah!

Old Knudsen understands doing something without preparation and saying, 'I'll do it on the night' just hoping that yer half arsed effort will get you through. Why would Trump think otherwise? He's not been held accountable before. Even when sued or taken to court for racism when he refused to rent to blacks he settled or just blew it off. Four bankruptcies became victories for tax evasion. 

The man is 70, and people are going to start saying no to him now? .... people are fucked up.  I mean a march for science, what the fuck has science ever done for us? 

Being president is hard, maybe this is a life lesson for Trump to learn before dementia fully takes him. An Internet troll made to walk in Obama's Muslim sandals.     

*Old Knudsen first human on the moon I'm sure it's in this blog somewhere* 

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