Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Where Was Knudsen?

Yes Old Knudsen was missing from any online activities for a week. The amount of concern that flooded his inbox was touching ... seriously people, not even one, "are U ok hun?"  Yeah someday I'll die and then you'll be sorry, or not ....cunts!

Before you ask, I know yer going to. Old Knudsen did not have any contact with the Russians and does not have any deals with the Russians.

He most certainly did not go to Ukraine and assassinate Putin critic Denis Voronenkov. I wasn't even in Kiev .... oh you must have said Kiev otherwise how would I know? I certainly didn't have a Ukrainian patsy named Pavel Parshov get mortally wounded to avoid any hint of Putin involvement so stop asking me about it for fucks sake!

I also didn't throw Russian lawyer Nikolai Gorokhov from a window the day before as a warning to stop looking into government corruption.

I did go to the US to see my ex though. The living sex doll Hillary Clinton. I was detained at the airport cos of all the Middle East stamps in my passport. I was released with I recited the Lard's prayer and convinced them all I was "normal" and in a white person friendly religion than one of those raghead ones.

I was actually on my meds for a change otherwise I'd be traveling in blackface wearing my 'hail Satan' t-shirt and a red velvet cape.

I did confuse their x-ray machine though and the TSA patter downer as me adult diaper was full. Didn't know that was in their regulations concerning hazardous materials and liquid amounts.

Hillary had stopped feeling sorry for herself, I mean how can you fuck up and lose to an orange sex offender with no policies to help America? She just potters around the garden now and has people due to testify against her killed ... the usual.

Plenty of stamina though, Trump was wrong about that one. She could suck a bowling ball through a garden hose.

My e-mail application was successful and I became a top adviser to the President. I just looked at what Obama had done and suggested reversing it. It showed Trump that great minds do think alike and that we were on the same page.

I saved some money by suggesting cuts to programs that helped people with Alzheimers and dementia. Me Ma had it so I'm a fucken expert. They don't know their programs are cut so it doesn't do any harm really.

Wounded veterans also have their programs cut as a penalty for messing up at work. We hope this will be an incentive to others to fight ISIS harder and not to be so careless.

Do you know how much it costs to make and dish out Purple hearts? The British army don't get a participation medal when they get wounded, suck it up snowflakes and use alcohol and violence to fix yer problems like us normal people do.

If those bone spurs hadn't prevented Trump from serving we could have totally won Vietnam. Have you seen the disregard he has for the 200 plus civilians killed by US bombs since he took office? The man refuses to let things like innocents get in the way of his war. 

Is education in the violent inner cities really that important? The ethnics could just sell their souls to Satan like Carson did .... c'mon people, this isn't brain surgery. After talking to Carson for 5 minutes you really do doubt if he even graduated high school.

I also suggested setting up a series of departments designed at cutting down government waste and over spending. Of course we'll need our own building and guns and badges. Maybe a uniform, nice black or brown shirts perhaps.

You'll find that as long as the people have their liberty to own guns and see that minorities are getting shit upon that you can do almost anything to them. It's human nature. 

Trump paid me in gold as I'm predicting a wee world war soon so paper money won't be worth fuck all. He can just walk into Fort Knox and grab some now. He pays for his weekly golf trips in five fingered discount gold so people need to get off his fucken back.   

I wrote a report debunking the reports that said nothing was tapped."Experts" have widely reported that denial and a lack of evidence are two indicators that it probably isn't as they say. If you hear hoof beats you probably assume it's someone with coconuts clacking together but it's possible that it could be unicorns or the Jersey Devil.... FACT! 

The FBI, CIA and NSA have claimed all sorts about Old Knudsen in the past and failed to even consider evil clones or robots so I'm inclined to not believe them.

Like lying scientists too, don't give me yer proof. In my day the only people concerned about climate change was the weather man, now it's a multi million dollar business and I'm not just talking about Al Gore DVD's.

Everyone knows coal is the future but wind turbines and solar panels are trendy now. Just wait when all the wind and the sun is used up, then you'll be sorry.

Does working out count if you don't post about it on social media? 

I was going to stay at a Trump hotel but the Gourmet chef Pierre was deported so I stayed at a Bally's instead.

Purina have a 'gourmet' brand of cat food so I'm no interested in that shite, bring me chips, onion rings and curry. I refuse to be an old person that eats cat food ... fucken stereotypes... and stay off my lawn! 

So that's what Old Knudsen did or didn't do in a week. Put in rehab and police custody in to fill in any blanks as me black outs have gotten longer. No wonder SG-19 micro chipped me when I werked for them. 

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